Bakugan
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Bakugan (A.K.A. Bakugan Battle Brawlers) is yet another children's animu in the same vein as children animu like Beyblade, in that it deals with "the power of friendship" in order to overcome obstacles, as well as an attempt at making profits through furfaggotry and merchandising.
To sum it up, take Yu-Gi-Oh! and replace the cards with transforming plastic marbles. Cartoon Network, realizing how fail Bakugan is, condemned it to the 6 AM timeslot. Shows like this are usually canceled and eventually re-aired on some shitty kids channel 2 years later.
Plot
The story takes place in a universe where there are two worlds; the human world and a monster world called Vestroia. Once upon a time, a power hungry dragon named black person goes after the Evil Core and the Silent Core (the two things that keeps Vestroia in balance) so that he can become God. He fails, and manages to divide his world into zero. All of the other monsters are sucked into this black hole into the human world, but instead of coming through as destructive whores, they rain down as marbles. Despite this rather conspicuous and fucking weird event, the parents decide it's okay for their children to play with those marbles that literally fell down from the fucking sky for no reason. This kid's game starts out innocent, but then eventually decides the fate of humanity. Sounds familiar?
The main character Dan, along with his other buttbuddies, decide to jump into an endless hole to kill Naga. Because hey, being 13 years old means that they are perfectly qualified to handle the fate of mankind as we know it! What happens then from here on is really beyond anyone's comprehension, since it becomes a massively convoluted event involving talking marbles and a cross-dressing villain.
Characters
- Dan - The main protagonist of the show. The best way to describe him is simply Naruto with brown hair. He has the fire Bakugan Drago, who he constantly yiffs with in his spare time. When Dan's not sucking on Drago's cock, he's constantly fucking up battles, somehow always managing to win in the last fucking second of the game.
- Shun - The emo cunt who's a ripoff of Sasuke in the series. He quit Bakugan when he was 12 due to the trauma of his mother having to get an abortion or something. Like your typical LiveJournal user, he couldn't resist the urge to show everyone how awesome he is and joined them again. He's superior to Dan at everything, but somehow remains his role as a sidekick. He has the wind Bakugan Ventus, and also has ninja-like abilities. He aborted sister went into his Bakugan known as Skyress. But in New Vestroia, Shun gets a Bakugan called Ingram who later gets a sex change, he/she was brutally murdered and replaced by a non living Bakugan called Hawktor in Gundalian Invaders
- Runo - The strong, independent, token chick of the group. She usually dresses in short-skirts, and has many other skimpy outfits where that came from. She, like the bitch she is, can be often seen dawning many kawaii ^__~ expressions while hitting Dan over the head. She has Tigrerra, the Bakugan of light. Later on in the series, she announces that she loves Dan (while in the dub, she says that she "like-likes" him); much 34 is had.
- Marucho - A smartass, midget, who the writers always keep in the series. He is a fucking fag. He and his family are filthy rich, so the rest of the group just use him for his gold-plated helicopters. For some reason he has a dot on the middle of his forehead, hopefully it is cancer. He had the Bakugan known as Preyas and Elfin who were had sex in the last episode of New Vestroia, at the last moments of the episode they were forgotten after being murdered by the black person non-living Bakugan called Akwimos. Right after that an India named Ren approached inside the midget's own house asking them who they are. The midget also had siamese twin Bakugan called Preyas Angelo and Diablo. None of the characters or writers cared about them so they were ignored during the events of New Vestroia.
- Julie - The stupid, India, whore of the group, usually trying to whore herself out to Dan. As smart as your average brick, she is only on the team because they needed a pair of loli tits. She is completely useless to everyone on the team and is better off staying in the kitchen and brewing up sandwiches. She has Gorem, the Bakugan of earth.
- Alice / Masquerade - Alice is a basement dweller and is pretty much absent most of the series. It is later revealed that she is one of the main villains thanks to her ability to Rule 63 herself (srsly). After coming to terms with having a penor, she and her Saiyan half join the group to fight bad guys. She/he/it has a black person Bakugan named Hydreigon or some shit.
Ownership
Most of TMS Entertainment (one of the actual creators of Bakugan) is owned by Sega, and the Bakugan toys are done mostly by Sega Toys. What does this mean? It essentially means that Sega is trying to find a way to make money from moar furfaggotry; after some considerate thinking, they decided that the Sonic franchise alone may not be enough to milk the furfags off of their money.
When the animu hit the waves of the swavy Japan, noone cared about it. But after seeing the potential of exploiting stupid Americunts/Soviet Canuckistan children (not to mention weeaboo dragonfags), Nelvana decided that they too wanted to cash in on the popularity of it's potential furfaggotry, and joined Sega on their quest to milk the lolcows of their money. Before spreading the AIDS to the Americans and Canadians, however, Nelvana decided to dub the animu in the same way they do all of their dubs; by completely disregarding the actual story, dialogue, and events in order to make it as exploitative as possible to the pockets of parents everywhere.
Rule 34
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what is this, I dont even
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Links
- Bakugan website.
- Wikipedia article. You know the drill.
- Bakugan forums. Because, hey, who dosen't love trolling 13-year-old boy?
See Also
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Bakugan is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |