Day of Silence
The Day of Silence is a natural phenomenon that occurs every year on a Wednesday in April. In 2007 it was the 18th of April and the 17th of April in 2009. It is marked by a 24-hour period during which all Homosexuality, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered students, along with any closet-homos who support them, are rendered mute due to straight folk's evil mind powers. This does not stop them from sucking cock however.
Suspected Causes of the Phenomenon
Conventional knowledge, along with emerging research shows that this annual occurrence is a direct result of God's wrath, which proves once and for all that God Hates Fags and God loves Lulz.
Another popular theory is that the silent-virus was invented by a Jew scientist to silence opposition to the reverse-holocaust. But, because the scientist was a Jew, he was preoccupied with his huge stacks of gold at the center of the Earth and He mistook a blatant faggot for a God fearing, patriotic American.
The third most popular theory is that the day was created and is perpetuated by retarded 16-year-old girl and 13-year-old boy, who think they have discovered the perfect solution to problems. their genius solution, you ask? DON'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT AND THUS AUTO-Fail EVERY ARGUMENT. This theory is completely bunk, however, because 16-year-old girl and 13-year-old boy are total morons, and thus incapable of solving problems (unless they involve "Wich Linkin Park album do i lisen 2 next lol?".
Who suffers from Day of Silence and WHY?
The Day of Silence affects mostly high school-aged homosexuals, with some college students being stricken as well. For an entire 24-hour period, those stricken with the straight virus, can talk, while gays cannot. This provides straight people a perfect platform from which to speak of the evils of homosexuality, how great straight life is, and how complimentary pubic regions are just super. The fags think they'll get sympathy for being silent, and thus not being able to speak out against homo abuse. What they don't know is that being silent doesn't do shit against people hating them. In fact, it lets all of the straight people know that they have won.
Organizations
Taking a page from terrorist groups such as Hamas and Al-Qaeda, Several small fag-centric groups have tried to claim responsibility for the devastation caused by the Day of Silence, such as:
- The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network G.L.S.E.N.)- The organization what turned yer boy queer.
- The United States Student Association (U.S.S.A.)- Moar liek USSR, amirite?.
The moral of this story? Jews definitely did WTC, but FAGS DID DoS
Tips for the Afflicted
- Make sure to stick to your vow of silence. Nothing teaches people a lesson like not telling them what that lesson is.
- If you're having trouble preventing words from escaping your mouth, simply take out your angst on a person who won't shut up
- Nothing disappoints us healthy folk like your kind breaking your vow to educate us about the gay life. See, if you're happy being silent, WE'RE happy LULZing about you in your immediate presence! It's win-win.
PROTIPS
For those who prefer lulz to silent tears of homosexual angst, the following actions are suggested:
- Sing the God hates fags song loudly until someone becomes enraged enough to talk.
- Rally the right-wingers in your town and get them to harass homos for you.
- Tell everyone the protests are for something offensive and retarded such as legalizing rape or bringing back segregation. The silentfags will suddenly realize how easy it is to misunderstand them when they refuse to explain themselves.
- Ræp a lesbian. Remind her that if she screams for help, she will be ostracized by all her lesbian friends forever.
- Call someone on the phone and loudly talk about what the fags in your area are doing, and how retarded it is. When someone tries to interrupt, tell them to shut the fuck up because you're on the phone.
- Don't dress up in a Guy Fawkes mask, blast Rick Astley, and dance like an idiot while handing out fliers that you spent all night making.
Day of Truth
The day after the day of silence is a lulzy counter protest created by IRL trolls referred to as the day of truth. It's basically the same as the day of silence only instead of pretending to actually like gays, you get to tell the truth that you want them to all die, hence the name. Here's how you can remember which day is which. On April 18th you have to pretend to like gays. On April 19th you get to tell gays to go fuck themselves. On April 20th you get stoned and forget about the above two days.
Moar Allies (Famous Homos)
External Lulz
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Day of Silence is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |