Twas the night before Christmas 2008, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that Santa soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums hollow point bullets danced in their heads.
Santa (sɑːt ʊˈn) opened fire as he entered the house, first shooting an 8-year-old girl who answered the door in the face with one of his five semi-automatic pistols. He then managed to pwn nine people and wound several more, including his 16-year-old girl fat and sassy stepdaughter (who he shot in the back), his in-laws and most of their family before burning...
