Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/February 5, 2023

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Ouija Board

Ouija (pronounced wee-jah by human beings and wee-jee by retards) is the brand name of a so-called "board game" that some extremely gullible individuals actually believe has the magickal ability to make contact with ghosts, demons and your creepy dead uncle who molested you all those years ago. The entire "game" consists of only two pieces: a heart-shaped piece of wood with a hole in it that is referred to as a "planchette" and a cutting board that is typically inscribed with the letters of the alphabet, the numbers 0 to 9, the words "yes" and "no", and the word "goodbye" or "farewell" for when the spoopy ghost that you're speaking to has finally had enough of your bullshit.

The Ouija trademark is currently owned by Hasbro and the game has been known for causing numerous outbreaks of delicious E-drama - mainly due to the fact that many Christians and Jews actually believe that Ouija — much like Dungeons & Dragons, Pokemon, Harry Potter, Marilyn Manson and Teletubbies - is a gateway into the occult and Satanism. This is made even more hilarious by the fact that Ouija users primarily consist of 8-year-old girls, 12-year-old girls, 16-year-old girls and 45-year-old women who hoard cats and have never gotten laid.

Ouija has also spawned two officially licensed PG-13 rated horror movie "adaptations" that are both essentially just Ringu-style bullshit with Ouija boards.


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