IRT
IRT, or "Incident Response Team" is an IRL trolling organization and branch of the Internet military that trolls animu conventions. Only, instead of doing it for the lulz, they do it for great justice. IRT's only job is to control the lunatics who permeate animu cons. However, being batshit crazy themselves, failure is the only option.
The Idiot Retardation Train was founded in 2005 in order to control Anime Central which was over 9000 attendees for the first time that year and has recently moved into the territory of Lulzcon. The Internet Reinforcement Troop were initially tasked with combating the growing threat of people holding up signs at Anime Central. 13 year old girls used to hold up sheets of paper asking for sex until it was b&, because virgins wanted to get laid is a horrible thing, worse than raping babies.
Requirements to be on IRT
- Insane
- Ability to be a dickhead under pressure
- Can use the force to find and eliminate lulz with extreme prejudice
- Looks good in a vest (owners of army fatigues preferred)
- Good loud voice to reduce 13 year old girls to tears
- Ability to whine for months after the con about how horrible the con goers are and how long and hard you had to work to keep the peace even though
- Inability to listen and follow even basic directions
- Inability to provide directions despite having a map and walkie talkie to communicate with nearly every at con operative, most of whom have been going to the convention since it began.
IRT Objectives
- Work as an agent of Anti-lulz
- Kill signs
- Lech at scantily clad jailbait
- Check weapons to make sure they are in fact toys
- Chase people out of elevators for no good reason
- Break up parties
- Confiscating alcohol from minors
- Drinking confiscated alcohol at the Con After Party
EPIC Failage at Lulzcon
Some gaiafag from IRT who doesn't know ED and thought it was a 4chan con, somehow tricked Girlvinyl into letting them provide security assistance at lulzcon. This started out as a major problem for the convention, but soon lead to epic lulz when the entire team was perma-b& from lulzcon and all lulz related activities. And nothing of value was lost.
The story begins when some gaiafag, apparently wasted the time of someone who ran the con and BEGGED for the position of head security troll. After saying "OMGPLZ!!OMGPLZ!! INEEDPOWERTOFUELMYUNWARRANTEDSELFIMPORTANCEBECAUSEIAMANATTENTIONWHORE!!!", someone said "Sure...., it can't hurt, right?"
IRT then went about taking charge of the con. They were allowed to bring about 3 or 4 other IRT people to help with shit like guarding the cashbox, making sure no furries or gaiafags got in, and stuff like that. But, since IRT is a group of professionals, who all have experience in running conventions and black belts in martial arts and stuff, it looked like they convinced Girlvinyl to allow them to bring ten ops, they ended up bringing 14 asshats including several furries, weeaboo and other people who just DIDN'T belong. The whole time Mandy, 'the fail in charge' thought that, even though less than sixty people actually came, there where going to be hundreds of people and that they would riot and fuck up the hotel, meaning that only the power of furfags and weeaboo could hold anonymous in check. She also thought it was a 4chan convention.
The Ban
Mandy was so scared of Girlvinyl, she had another girl in cat ears, tail, stripey socks, and matching corset approach Girlvinyl on Saturday night. This girl indicated that IRT would not be wearing their superduper protective security vests, after having removed them in disgust (or possibly misunderstanding) of lulz (or possibly reality). It was suggested instead that IRT not show in the morning, Sunday, for the last day of Lulzcon.
By showing up early Sunday morning, the remainder of the IRT team was slightly allowed to stay until they started misbehaving inappropriately. Indicating, "Brb", Girlvinyl was thought to attend a short meeting in the powder room, but we instead found out that she dropped the cosplay kids off by the pool.
Fun IRT facts
Did you know that:
- The IRT stands for Insanely Retarded Twats
- They yiff in public at a con full of people who hate them.
- They wore cat ears and tails to LULZCON.
- IRT is serious fucking business and they think the Internet is too.
- It's a trap.
- IRT are the ones that shat out the chocolate rain.
- IRT is a family.
- They have a ritual at cons, where at midnight they sacrifice a cat, drink its blood, and pray to Satan to crush their enemies.
- They are masters of unwarranted self importance.
- They get butthurt whenever they hear someone say "fag". So be sure to say it loudly if you ever see one of them around.
- They treat pedophiles with the dignity and respect they deserve.
- Mandy claims that she was once a 4chan moderator, when in fact she used to be a janitor for /y/. A janitors duty is only to delete unworthy posts and they have nowhere near as much authority as moderators.
- IRT did 9-11!!
- They are also known as the weeaboo gestapo.
- YOU can join IRT[1].
|
IRT is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |