Jack Kevorkian
Dr. Jack Kevorkian was doubtlessly the greatest idol that old people and heroic individuals have ever known. His tireless and expert circumvention of law, combined with his wholesale dedication to the swift termination of human flesh, resulted in the early expiration of 130 broken husks of what may have at one point been people. He bore the burden of executing a task which most could only envy: scourging the earth of dried up, dilapidated, broken, Medicare leeching "people." A (perhaps unintended) consequence of his bold slaying of bedridden losers was a significant reduction in the occurrences of angry shouts of "CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER!"
Ever since he died, the number of Emos and Goths living in the USA has risen in triplicate, perhaps in mourning of their fallen god. They'd be a lot less sad if they knew that Dr. Kevorkian, Esquire, did not accept unstable tweens as clients.
Dr. Kevorkian's methods can be used to cure many common ailments such as:
- Life
- Emo
- Attention whoreism
- This shitty article
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