Marcel Dootjes

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Marcel in action
Marcel takes a tough approach to a girl

File:Happiertimes.jpg

Marcel Dootjes (more like DOUCHE amirite?) is a young Dutchman and the unfortunate victim of a Leftist media conspiracy to invade his privacy and make him seem like a really bad guy. The truth is that he is not a really bad guy. He is a relatively "high functioning" mentally retarded person who has difficulty controlling his violent impulses.

Background

Marcel is a leading member of "Blood & Honour," a fan club for a sub-genre of punk rock music that fetishizes authoritarianism and "white power." Blood & Honour took its name from the motto of the Adolf Hitler Youth, Blut und Ehre. One day while walking in the park with his friends, Marcel encountered a couple of really disgusting foreigners who were giving him dirty looks and whispering things to each other. Marcel really had no choice but to beat up the foreigners.

Yes, but...
Attempting to compensate for his tiny penis

Consequences

The next day, however, someone learned where Marcel lived, as well as some of his other contact information, and along with photos of the foreigners getting their teeth kicked in, posted it on the Indymedia web site.

Naturally, Marcel and his friends were outraged at this invasion of privacy, and although Marcel had already forgotten the incident (except the part when he wet his pants), demanded that the pictures and contact details be removed. The Indymedia leftists refused, so Marcel's Mom hired a leading attorney to take legal action against these reckless communists. Soon, though, many Dutch "blogs" picked up the story, and as every third person in the Netherlands has a blog, Marcel's personal details and the unflattering photos were known to every speaker of De Nederlandse taal, and the rest of the Internets too.

"Niet lachen om mijn te kleine penis !"

What's the big deal?

The brilliant scientist Wilhelm Reich, a Jew, pointed out in his amazing "Mass Psychology of Fascism" (1940) that fascism essentially stems from a neurotic desire in the lower middle classes for an authoritarian leader who will speak to them in a simplistic, E-Z-to-understand manner about political stuff and important things they should know about as citizens. This leader would define things clearly as either good or evil, blame all bad things in society on some minority group, and would make them feel better about their lack of education and their interest only in the banal pleasures of lower middle class life. The desire for this leader originates in the authoritarian family structure, as a longing for the father figure who was kindly but strict.

The most famous example of this fantasy coming to pass is Hitler and the Nazis. But more than 60 years after Hitler's escape to the German base in Antarctica, these urges continue to afflict the lower middle class. Some manage to channel the longing into a love of high energy hardcore music, blue shoelaces on heavy boots, an attraction to the number "88", and other sorts of fashionable expressions. Others, however, like young Marcel and his friends, take the whole thing much too seriously, and feel it necessary to claim their true Aryan heritage, while fighting the Jews, Muslims, Hippies, Blacks, Leftists, and anyone else who doesn't like the pageantry and symbolism of a rising young fascism. Instead of having fun with it, going to nightclubs, meeting girls, and being normal happy young people, they choose to drown in their teen angst, have their necks tattooed, go to prison, and get all emo about a bunch of really obsolete and stupid concepts. Just like the proto-Nazis of the 1920s, not yet come to power, they fight the Communists and other evil forces at street level. Often, as we see in the case of young Marcel, they are oppressed by the sinister media and government conspiracies merely for taking such a righteous stand.

The Dutch Tiny Penis Support Group; Marcel is seen with his fellow micro-penis suffering brethren.

Doing it wrong

The differences between Marcel and his predecessors of 80 years ago are subtle but clear. The most important is that Marcel and the rest of Holland are not really "Aryan." Though Dutch, and thus mostly "white," his ethnic heritage includes Holland's former master Spain, as well as the Dutch East Indies, now called Indonesia. Another difference is that Marcel's group is completely confused about who they are supposed to like, and who they are supposed to hate. Jews and Blacks, obviously. But what about Muslims, who are moving to the Netherlands in filthy burqa'd hordes? They are disgusting, of course, but they are also against the Jews... so... But what about America? America is killing off the Muslims, fine, but they are in bed with the Jews... but the Muslims are against America... Mexico? Injuns? It's all too confusing.

Overflow of pictures

See also

External Links