Osaka
Osaka (a.k.a. Ayumu Kasuga) is the slow-minded, meme inducing, erection triggering weeaboo magnet from the anime series Azumanga Daioh.
Her nickname is not to be confused with the city in Japan where the Yakuza hang out.
Characteristics
It's hard to say what kind of person Osaka is. She has strange fantasies and daydreams of her friends and asks questions that make any anonymous individual stop and think for more than 10 seconds. What she lacks in physical strength and intelligence, she makes up for it in absolute mind-pwnage, being able to solve any fucking impossible riddle in existance. But that still doesn't redeem the fact that she cannot tell the difference between a fucking HUEG knife and a frying pan.
She's right up there with Xenu and Raptor Jesus. A deep thinker, which is why belligerent Otaku are batshit insane about her, and if given the chance would like to have buttsecks with their flat-chested sex magnet. Because she is so slow-witted, when the series of Azumanga Daioh was English dubbed, she was given a southern accent to reflect the fact that her parents are siblings.
Copypasta
Dear /b/:
I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice. Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode. Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka. I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave. I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place. So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison. Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.
Osaka in Action
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Gallery
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She hallucinates
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She can do ANYTHING.
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Learn the difference. It could save your fucking life.
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Ya gon' get shanked boy.
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SATA ANDAGI!
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CHIYO MAH BOIIIIII
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Osaka voices Tsuruya-san in that crap Haruhi spinoff.
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HOLY SHIT I AM TRIPPING BALLS.
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