Tails activates the shitstormCompletely inevitable
Chao Trolling
"I think of Tails all day, every day ... his cute face and goregous body - Tails"
Our story begins with an Anonymous by the name of Tails posting on a message board created for the intention of providing advice to Sonic fans in raising their "Chaos" - pronounced "CHOW" as in "CHOW ON COCKS", miniature fat creatures used as some sort of 3D Sonic Tamagotchi.
It did not take long for the board's righteous anger to kick up, countered with further trolling by Tails.
“
"1647W M123 Allenville Mi 49760
Bring 20 friends. You may have yet to realize this, but as long as i can move, i will kill you.
If i'm not home, wait a while. Be sure to ask for Leland. I live with others and wouldn't want you to hurt someone who has a pacemaker or something. Or beat my little brother. Then i'd have to kill your family and friends too.
Be sure to write that down. I'll be expecting you. I've been thirsting for blood for a few weeks now, and i'm sure yours would suit just fine. there's a metallic taste to blood you know. Coppery. And iron. Especially blood that flows from above the abdomin, and aorta. I'm particularly fond of biting about the face, and curbstomping. Ever see american history X?
It doesn't do a good curbstomping justice.
Prison also doesn't frighten me. So your age really doesn't matter.
I -will- kill you if you take a step up. I don't care if you've got marines following you.
I'll eat their hearts too.
Don't believe me? ask people their oppinions. I'd do it just to prove a point.
your life means nothing to me, and i would end it without hesitation.
Want to kick my ass? be prepared. bring a gun
hope you hit my head or heart with the first shot.
No... nono.. don't hope. Pray. Don't "talk" about what you'd do. Come do it.
I'm not going to bother expressing my extensive knowledge of accupressure,
combat judo, and aikido. As well as the fact that
I am built like a tank. I don't have a neck. Want an accurate depiction?
Take about 3 years of your life hauling 2 tons of pellets per week into a basement.
Then add the fact that i've been gutting animals since i was 5. My skill with a blade is precise as a brain surgeon.
I stated i wasn't going to fight you. you know full well what I would do.
Which means i would use any means at my disposal (including a car, or a concrete pick).
Quite talking trash and just come already. If i wasn't broke i'd send you the bus fare.
I didn't start this, therefore I see no need to come to you.
You want some, come and get it. you know where I live, you know my name. Stop talking and come.
No ammount of nintendo-martial-arts will save you if i see you.
Unless you're Jet Li,
i've got no reason to even concern myself with you other than the fact that your teeth will be kissing a
burb while my boot slams against the back of your skull. Savy?
Or. . .Maybe i'll let you live. Maybe i'll gag you, tie you upside down from the basement rafters,
all the way up to your nose in the water that's flooded it. Leave you there for a week, then i'd start in on the torture."
Needless to say, Anonymous decided to ravage his humble chao
boards and let him know the sort of faggot he was.
Raep Protocol: Initiated
Simultaneously shocked and amused at such immense faggotry, Anon flooded into his forum, spamming memes and lulz. This continued for several hours, completely overwhelming the board's regulars, who saw their pointless and boring threads dedicated to Chao-raising filled with Desu and ASCII Goatse. Anonymous quickly discovered his docs, specifically his home phone number, where he happened to live with some soon to be very pissed parents.
