Anonymous user
Spotify: Difference between revisions
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Images
imported>4ourty (Added/removed stuff. "Spotigay" is unfunny) |
imported>4ourty (Images) |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
'''Spotify''' is a shitty [[Swedish]] [[audio]] streaming service that claims to allow its users to listen to [[music]] for free, but forgets to mention that the service includes promotional [[EXTREME ADVERTISING|LGBT pride ads]], artists battling in a pay-to-win war over their [[snoca|dogshit songs]], and 73% useless bloat. Their software takes up hundreds of megabytes of space, with a laggy and slow [[UI]] full of ads, easily [[botnet|ass-raping your RAM]]. The streaming quality is worse than a broken [[radio]] from the [[80s]] and the songs themselves sound like they where recorded on an autotuned toaster full of compression and distortion. Rarely will you find anything of worth. | '''Spotify''' is a shitty [[Swedish]] [[audio]] streaming service that claims to allow its users to listen to [[music]] for free, but forgets to mention that the service includes promotional [[EXTREME ADVERTISING|LGBT pride ads]], artists battling in a pay-to-win war over their [[snoca|dogshit songs]], and 73% useless bloat. Their software takes up hundreds of megabytes of space, with a laggy and slow [[UI]] full of ads, easily [[botnet|ass-raping your RAM]]. [[File:Wanna break from the ads.jpg|250px|right]] The streaming quality is worse than a broken [[radio]] from the [[80s]] and the songs themselves sound like they where recorded on an autotuned toaster full of compression and distortion. Rarely will you find anything of worth. | ||
[[ | In general, it's much more worthwhile to [[Soulseek|download your music]] and listen to it with an audio player, rather than use software that drains as much battery and money as possible, instead of actually playing music for you. Alternatively, you could use ''YouTube Music'' on browser and just switch your [[adblock]] on... but then again, it's horrible audio quality aswell. | ||
==Creation== | |||
[[Image:Daniel Ek.jpeg|125px|thumb|left|This faggot is making more money every day while [[you]] remain an unemployed neet.]] | |||
== | |||
[[Image:Daniel Ek.jpeg| | |||
The main person responsible for developing this disgrace was a [[faggot]] called ''Daniel Ek'', who also worked on the [[uTorrent|µTorrent]] project before starting to develop Spotify. He dropped out of college and opened an advertising company (note this guy's passion for ads) called Advertigo, but he has such a strong [[fetish]] for [[money]] that he sold it in 2006 to another company. There was also a guy named Martin Lorentzo, but nobody cares to him. | The main person responsible for developing this disgrace was a [[faggot]] called ''Daniel Ek'', who also worked on the [[uTorrent|µTorrent]] project before starting to develop Spotify. He dropped out of college and opened an advertising company (note this guy's passion for ads) called Advertigo, but he has such a strong [[fetish]] for [[money]] that he sold it in 2006 to another company. There was also a guy named Martin Lorentzo, but nobody cares to him. | ||
==Other services== | ==Other services== | ||
[[Image:Spotify.png|150px|thumb|Spotify's unoriginal logo.]] | |||
===Spotify for Podcasters=== | ===Spotify for Podcasters=== | ||
''Spotify for Shitcasters'' is just a version of Spotify designed so that retards can pick up a microphone and say whatever the fuck they want and get other retards to listen to them. No more than 20 people use this shit. The only reason podcasts still exist on Spotify is because [[Joe Rogan]] uses it. | ''Spotify for Shitcasters'' is just a version of Spotify designed so that retards can pick up a microphone and say whatever the fuck they want and get other retards to listen to them. No more than 20 people use this shit. The only reason podcasts still exist on Spotify is because [[Joe Rogan]] uses it. | ||
| Line 16: | Line 15: | ||
===Spotify for Artists=== | ===Spotify for Artists=== | ||
''Spotify for [[Autists]]'' is a version of Spotify for the people that believe they have a good voice to sing or produce their own shitty songs to publish in the Spotify society. In general, nobody uses this shit either, especially when better alternatives like [[Soundcloud]] exist. | ''Spotify for [[Autists]]'' is a version of Spotify for the people that believe they have a good voice to sing or produce their own shitty songs to publish in the Spotify society. In general, nobody uses this shit either, especially when better alternatives like [[Soundcloud]] exist. | ||
==Gallery== | |||
{{center|<gallery> | |||
File:Angry Spotify wojak.jpg | |||
File:Virgin Spotify Wrapped vs Chad Last FM.jpg | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
==See also== | ==See also== | ||
| Line 26: | Line 32: | ||
*[[Ear Rape]] | *[[Ear Rape]] | ||
*[[Limewire]] | *[[Limewire]] | ||
*[[Last.FM]] | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||