SteveUberAlles
SteveUberAlles is an internet nerd who goes by the aliases Steve, Steven, SteveUberAlles, Fnord_Prefect, Stovun, daland, General_Boy, and various other names used to avoid a ban on a teen girl message board.
He was discovered in Yahoo! goth chat by Emily Jo, who was attempting to e-stalk a boy from her high school. They then entered into a conversation about Ayn Rand ✡ and fell madly in internet love, until Steve internet cheated on Emily. They remained internet friends because they're both internet losers, and formed an exclusive internet clique whose purpose was to harass the Purple PJs message board and Yahoo! chat. With his band of loyal followers, Steve rules the internet... In his mind.
In 2002-2003, Steve finally achieved his lifelong ambition of making a real girlfriend out of an internet flame, although the girl in question was highly neurotic and suffered from loose vagina syndrome. This was all going swimmingly until Steve announced, while on the phone to another former internet flame abstruse, that he was masturbating while thinking about a man. It was all downhill from there, and the girlfriend dumped him sometime after, which he bitched about for an entire summer, driving both abstruse and Emily Jo insane. He later started dating a lesbian, and has been experimenting with ghey makeup and anal sex ever since.
Steve's favorite pastimes are overusing jokes and obscure references in a sad attempt to be hip, and creating TL;DR posts wherever people may accidentally read them, especially on the Reason.com blog and his livejournal. Steve also enjoys being both gay and ghey, eating copious quantities of White Castles, grooming his body hair, and convincing himself that he looks like a movie star from the 1950's. He tends to leave message boards such as Purple PJs when lack of appreciation for his pointless posts make him feel butthurt, though is prone to making posts with the secret anonymous account.
He also enjoys creating AIM chats with half a dozen other gossip-whores, to bitch about friends and acquaintances.
Steve has a huge hard on for Devo, women who are uninterested in him, Jews girls, mocking people who probably mock him, and his own reflection. If you see him on the internet, run away quickly.