StrikeGently.com
Strike Gently is a fairly recent wannabe blog that does absolutely nothing but reblog shit it finds on Reddit, Tumblr and 4chan. The first sign that you've made the right decision in visiting their amazing website is the banner which greets you upon arrival. A banner which is 100 percent original and is in no way stolen from General Electric because as we all know if you reverse an image then its yours forever. Of course this sadly doesn't always work out so well as I still have the Air Jordan's lodged up my ass from the last time I tried fucking with the Nike logo.
After staring in disbelief at how stupid these people must be for trying to fuck with GE's branding you'll undoubtedly begin to notice the smoke pouring forth from your computer. Don't worry, this is normal. After all a PC can only handle loading so much shit until it just fucking gives up. Besides that whole "page" thing is overrated anyway. As we all know the best way to present information is on one long page which scrolls continuously for hours upon hours. Hell, the best purchase I ever made was that single sheet dictionary; sure it takes two hours to unroll it but boy is it ever fun trying to find the word helicopter on that son of a bitch.
Once you're computer's finally finished melting a hole through your floor you'll be able to see all the cool pictures that await you. Now some people might think that a blog, by its very nature alone, needs to contain actual words. Well those people are fucking wrong, of course it doesn't. And that's exactly the attitude the sites creators took when making Strike Gently. A picture is worth a thousand words after all so it only makes sense then to use a thousand pictures right? I mean fuck that's like what... a billion words? That's some next level shit right there. GG Strike Gently GG.
Content
Strike Gently tries to pretend they're Something Awful by having lots of unique backgrounds. Additionally the writers of Strike Gently are most likely going to get IRL B& for posting illegal shitty leaked music just to please a good majority of their 13-year-old fans. The easiest way to describe the kind of ground breaking entertainment that awaits you on Strike is to first direct you here. Now to complete the illusion randomly click around on Google image search while keeping that open in the background and you pretty much get the idea. Afterwards, you might want to go wash your eyes out.
Userbase
The typical Strike Gently reader is generally between the ages of 13 to 16 years old, regardless of what they may otherwise claim. Furthermore the average reader is usually jobless, smokes a lot of pot, lives with their parents, and has to simulate what they think a pussy would feel like by slightly warming up a Hot Pocket on a lonely Saturday night. A common misconception shared there is that anything they deem funny applies as such anywhere else. This of course couldn't be further from the truth as the only known online group that share their unique sense of humor occupy Twilight fan forums. The depth and brevity of the commentary provided by SG in their numerous posts hardly scratches the surface of outright retarded. They really are the perfect website to cater to the intelligent youth of today.
In general, SG users believe themselves to be some sort of anarchists for apparently rebelling against the world (without really doing anything or supporting any clear cause). Their motto, "Strike Gently Against the World", leads quite a few into thinking they're some established 'elite' on the internet. This, of course, requires a lot of analyzing to cure. You can do your part by reminding them that illegally downloading a few tracks off a U2 cd from 1994 doesn't make them fucking hardcore.
Remedy
Naturally, a wannabe 'social' blog like this ends up shutting down eventually when resorting to pirating copyrighted material to remain in business. After wasting a good 5-10 minutes of your life realizing they continue to exist, please justify your abhorrent loss and do the right thing by guiding the poor souls who actually wasted their money buying their second-hand shirts and merchandise.
What Awaits You There
- Shitty Porn
- V&able music download links.
- YTMND inspired site design
- Gore
- Even more shitty porn
- One continuous page that scrolls on into eternity
- A picture you saw on Reddit last night
- Footnote telling you to TALK SHIT
- A sense of regret
- Shame
- Google Image Results from A-Z
See Also
External Links
- Strike Gently - Gone, thank fuck.
|
StrikeGently.com is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |