Tranzutopia

tranzutopia is a living Mary Sue from at least 100 years ago of mafia descent, suffering from batshit victim complex and internet diagnosis. For example:

	“	the reason my typing is screwedup is i am now house bound with ms , epilepsy , and diabetesand i shake uncontrollably so my typing suffers but if you want to add disabled bashing to racism go right ahead	„
	—tranzutopia

The drama bomb erupted when someone suggested using a France bread in a traditional, thousand-year-old mafia dish [1]. Much "racism" ensued on the part of the bonny Scottish Lass, while racism spewed forth from the Mafiosa, who was terribly upset at her mother-in-law's extremely recent (Think: No more than 99 minutes from the original post) death. Said mother-in-law has recently come back from the grave, only to be struck with cancer. [2]

Much lulz ensued

The stupid free wank [3]

A Brief History of the World

Blonde bombshell? More like ebola bombshell!

To sum it all up, this former mandyke has done everything evar and has done it better than anyone will ever manage to do it. Evar. The following list comes directly from her shaky, AIDS-riddled hands: All of the following has been stated by tranzutopia except for one. Can you spot the exaggeration?

Was a test tube baby (despite the fact that she was born in 1959)
Won a full college scholarship at age 11
Was a traditionally trained Italian chef, who won the respectable if never heard of 'Italy's Apprentice of the Year' award twice.
Had a TV show
Had a stage career
Is a world champion in Judo, Karate, Tae Kwon Do, and Aikido (Despite the fact that the USAF, AAA, AS and do not hold competitions and TAIN has never heard of her.)
Ran marathons
Played lacrosse at World Level
Somehow went from an athletic guy to a curvy, beautiful blonde bombshell
Has at least 100 diseases, including MS, epilepsy, asthma, and AIDS
Has an 18 year old son who is also diseased and should, scientifically speaking, be dead. HALLELUJAH!
Lived in Nepal, in a Buddhist monastery, as a tranny...for years
Thinks Bono is a saint
Graduated college with a degree in speech therapy, all while carrying her retarded, diseased son around in a sling
Has two other degrees, as well
Used to do stand-up
Is writing a book
Was admitted into Mensa at age 13
Was a mental health counselor for five years
Did a ridiculous amount of crystal meth and then kicked it cold turkey, by herself
Somehow, made millions and had it all taken away by her crazy ex wife
Has a child with Asperger's Syndrome
Owned and operated a world-class security company whose clientele included supreme court judges and rock stars.
Was a cook for oil rig employees in the North Sea
Out of her 8 brothers and sisters, 7 of them were murdered
Has a 14 inch machete scar on her tum
Was once thrown into solitary confinement for 120 days (despite being able to prove she was not in the country at the time the crime happened)

File:Dosequisman.jpg

Once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels

She doesn't have poor grammar because she shakes. Apparently, severe epilepsy kills grammar.
Was kicked out of 16 boarding schools by age 10
Was, literally, stabbed in the back by her best friend. Took 27 stitches and three days in the hospital.
Alludes to having killed someone
Had to have her face reconstructed after being struck 17 times with a baseball bat by a burglar
Is a lawyer
Built six hot rods
Can lick her own eyes
Owned and operated the highest rated Italian restaurant in Australia and Hong Kong
Owned and operated the highest rated European bakery in Chelsea, New York

Oddly enough, she does not list "once accused a one-legged Trinidadian bicycle messenger of perpetrating a hate crime after a punching match on the New York City subway" even though this is one event in her life which can actually be verified. [4] [5] [6] [7]

Add pixplzkthnx to Tranzutopia

Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.
Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix.