User:RedMist44/Geometry Dash
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Geometry Dash is an overrated game promoted by popular YouTubers for autistic kids (like Pewdiepie) where you click in tune with an audio beat, made by a swedish Asspie faggot called RobTop. Geometry Dash has a grand total of 21 badly-designed levels. There's also a level editor, in which everyone and their dog can make a level of their own, go figure. With this feature, kids and teenagers with Assburgers can make shitty levels using music they've stolen from Newgrounds.
How to play the game
The way you play the game is pretty simple: just click (or tap if you're on mobile) in tune with both the music, and what you see on the screen. There's different game-modes that the game puts you through as well, such as a ship, a ball, a UFO, a wave (which is just a more zig-zagged version of the ship), a robot (which is just a more precise version of the cube), the spider (which is a shittier ball), and the Swing Copter (which is just a shittier version of the ship AND the wave).
Game Features
- Level Editor - Shitty level editor where bratty kids make their own levels.
- Newgrounds song integration - Use songs from Jewgrounds. ZOMG!!!11 I can make a Skrillex lev-SONG IS NOT ALLOWED FOR USE.
- Achievements - The way you unlock icons and colors.
- Daily Rewards - Receive free rewards by opening two chests: a big one; and a small one.
- Shop - Buy stuff.
- Icons - Basically the skins for the cube, ship, ball, etc. Some of them are from other franchises; like Mario, Kirby or even fucking Dead-Pool.
- Gauntlets - When game creator RobTop is lazy, (which he is the whole time), he features custom levels and puts them in "Gauntlets", cause why not? RobTop's slacking ass also occasionally includes some levels from the Map Packs, like Kappaclysm.
- Map Packs - Basically the same shit, but for levels made pre-2.1.
Community
The Geometry Dash community is a strange and exotic place. All kinds of players roam the toxic landscape of the online server. A long-standing campaign has been trying to "Save The GD Community," as its proponents put it, but it is of no use because they are not famous.
Haxxors
Although RobTop seems to disregard hacking activities, everyone with a functioning brain uses hacks, or "performance enhancing three-party programs." PC players utilize xBot, GDBot, Mega Hack, Mohammed ja'kalem al-abdula hack, and many more; mobile players have less choices, but they also use manual screen-flipping, color reverse, dick controls, expensive gaming chairs, and auto-speedhack on densely decorated levels.
Creators
"Creators" are the people who make shitz in the Level Editor. They can post their levels online and contribute to the giant cesspool that is the game's Recent tab.
Not much to say here, but everyone in the Geometry Dash community agrees that DarkX Cyclic Riot Findexi Zobros Noobas KaotikJumper ZenthicAlpha KrmaL Viprin is the best creator ever!!!11111
Controversy
Why would a game about jumping over spikes need controversy? Who fucking knows. Anyways. A bunch of people got bored waiting for Rob's lazy ass to release 2.2, and decided to pass the time by grooming kids, most notably AmorAltra, who wasn't even in this game's community anymore when he got exposed for drawing hentai art of minors. Then some Spanishfag named GuitarHeroStyles (aka Advy) did the exact same thing, except at least his career wasn't totally destroyed. A few years later, another challenger appeared named SpaceUK, who became known as the best player in all of GD HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT HE HACKED ALL HIS ACHIEVEMENTS
Like-beggers
The Geometry Dash server is extensively inhabited by Like-beggers, who will do anything for 5, 10, or 20 "Likes" on their comments. Commonly, they would claim to punch Donald Trump in the face, eat the Eiffel tower, or smash their heads into rotating electric fans.
Curiously, the number of Likes on their comments almost always rises far above their requests, enough to stick themselves into the Top Comments. Even more curiously, this kind of behavior continues to thrive despite intense antagonism in the community. The filthy Like-beggers can easily poison the minds of innocent n00bs and replicate faster than rabbits, as such, they have long been a cancer to the game's community.
Clubette
Clubette is another proof of the mental retardation of Geometry Dash's community. She is a fictional underage girl (mostly drawn in anime style) that 15-year-old Geometry Dash fanboys masturbate to. Her look comes from a demon level titled "Clubstep" , in which the level obstacles look like her face (after 20 surgeries).
Other Games
Geometry Dash Lite
This is just a free version of the game but with less stuff (like the levels, online shit, icons and other stuff). Why download this if you can download a APK of the original application?
Geometry Dash Meltdown
This game was released on December 19, 2015 and only has 3 levels featuring songs by Jesse Valentine. Also it is set on Hell because OMG SATAN, so edgy!!!
Geometry Dash World
Another game, this one was released on December 21, 2016 as a demo of the then-upcoming 2.1 Update.
Geometry Dash SubZero
Released on December 21, 2017. Instead of being in Hell like Meltdown, it's set in like a fr0zen world or some shit. This entry is technically a prototype of 2.2, and is notorious for being the most-rushed-out of the series' games.
2.2 Update
The 2.2 Update is currently in development; and is planned to be the biggest update the game has ever seen. However, 7 years later, it STILL hasn't come out. Since RobTop is too busy featuring levels instead of working on the game, it's safe to assume it's never, ever going to come out.
Rip-Off
Is the Geometry Dash game similar to another one? Well, some would say that it's actually just a terrible rip-off of The Impossible Game, since both games are the same jumping to obstacles thing. But nobody wants to accept it.
Level Editor
Since everyone can make levels and upload them, there will emerge some lvls with porn, gore and satanic shit to scare the kidz.
The typical player-made levels are something like this:
- Automatic level - You don't do anything and you win.
- Collab - At least 100 people making a single level.
- Demon Levels - Levels that are so fucking hard, that most players use hacks to complete these. As of the 2.1 Update, there are five types of Demon levels: Easy, Medium, Hard, Insane and Extreme Demons.
- Silent / Impossible levels - Dumb-as-fuck levels that exist only to break your fingers over a level you will never beat.
- Shitty levels - Most of these are made by kids who don't know how to make actually good levels, so they put random crap all over the level. Expect most of the recent levels to be these.
- Challenges - Short levels that assrape the shit out of you.
- Bug Showcase - OMFG GUYS, I FOUND A BUG!1!!!11 NOW IM GONNA MAEK A LVL ABUT DIZ!1!!111
See also
- Angry Birds
- Slave Tetris
- Friday Night Funkin'
- Cube
- Carpal Tunnel - What you need to play this.
- Mobile phone
- PC
- Dubstep
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RedMist44/Geometry Dash is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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RedMist44/Geometry Dash is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |