Focus on the Family: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:fof001.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Never a more appropriate graphic..]]
<!--[[Image:fof001.jpg|thumb|150px|Never a more appropriate graphic..]]-->
[[Image:fof002.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Dobson swallowed this much of daddy's cock.]]
<!--[[Image:fof002.jpg|thumb|150px|Dobson swallowed this much of daddy's cock.]]-->
Focus on the Family was begun in 1977 as a way for [[Christfag]]s to congregate together and help their fellow man not burn in [[Hell]] for all eternity. James Dobson- who is not an actual preacher by the way- heads one of the largest fundamentalist right wing nuthouses in America. And he really, really hates [[fag]]s. Probably something to do with his own repressed feelings of [[faggot]]ry. [[Ted Haggard| That's usually how it works]].  
 
'''Focus on the Family''' was begun in 1977 as a way for [[Christfag]]s to congregate together and help their fellow man not burn in [[Hell]] for all eternity. James Dobson- who is not an actual preacher by the way- heads one of the largest fundamentalist right wing nuthouses in America. And he really, really hates [[fag]]s. Probably something to do with his own repressed feelings of [[faggot]]ry. [[Ted Haggard| That's usually how it works]].  


In internets years, 1977 might as well have been B.C. What makes these [[faggot]]s relevant today is their internet presence and many, many podcasts. All you sinners, [[b/tard]]s, [[EDiot]]s, [[troll]]s and [[faggot]]s; following the wisdom of Focus on the Family is guaranteed to leave you a vapid shell of a person with little personality or spine of your own. Which for many, will be a major step up from the normal [[basement dweller]]s on ED.
In internets years, 1977 might as well have been B.C. What makes these [[faggot]]s relevant today is their internet presence and many, many podcasts. All you sinners, [[b/tard]]s, [[EDiot]]s, [[troll]]s and [[faggot]]s; following the wisdom of Focus on the Family is guaranteed to leave you a vapid shell of a person with little personality or spine of your own. Which for many, will be a major step up from the normal [[basement dweller]]s on ED.
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[[File:Fof004.jpg|right|150px|The handbook says no fags.]]
[[File:Fof004.jpg|right|150px|The handbook says no fags.]]
===Marriage's Meaning for the Delusional===
===Marriage's Meaning for the Delusional===
The contributor that gave excerpts of his work seems to have little to no grasp on reality. It is a sad, sad testament to the state of our educational system that individuals like this can get Ph. D.'s. You see, our good Dr. David Kyle Foster seems to be of the opinion that people take their commitments before [[God]] and [[Jesus Christ]] without much seriousness. They enter into agreements and marriage vows without casting a second thought to the ramifications of their actions. What kind of retarded ass thinking is that?
The contributor that gave excerpts of his work seems to have little to no grasp on reality. It is a sad, sad testament to the state of our educational system that individuals like this can get Ph. D.'s. You see, our good Dr. David Kyle Foster seems to be of the opinion that people take their commitments before [[God]] and [[Jesus Christ]] without much seriousness. They enter into agreements and marriage vows without casting a second thought to the ramifications of their actions. What kind of retarded ass thinking is that?
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[[File:Moonman.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Moonman is in ur spirituality, corrupting ur souls.]]
[[File:Moonman.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Moonman is in ur spirituality, corrupting ur souls.]]
===[[MTV]] Apparently Still Matters to Someone===
===[[MTV]] Apparently Still Matters to Someone===
It seemed to be understood that [[MTV]] no longer really functioned as an entity for people to give a shit about. Apparently, Focus on the Family somehow missed the entirety of the 80's and 90's when they really had a chance to derail this bullshit before it got started. Unfortunately, they did not do that and now we all suffer. Even worse, listening to these sniveling cock-warts makes us want to side with [[MTV]]. Which is blatantly against Biblical, personal, and socially accepted norms.
It seemed to be understood that [[MTV]] no longer really functioned as an entity for people to give a shit about. Apparently, Focus on the Family somehow missed the entirety of the 80's and 90's when they really had a chance to derail this bullshit before it got started. Unfortunately, they did not do that and now we all suffer. Even worse, listening to these sniveling cock-warts makes us want to side with [[MTV]]. Which is blatantly against Biblical, personal, and socially accepted norms.


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===Lrnin' Ur Kid 2 Not B Stoop1d===
===Lrnin' Ur Kid 2 Not B Stoop1d===
A section meant to herald advice to the reader; we learn of Ann, a 15 year old young woman who rendered herself blind not by [[masturbation]], but instead by staring at a solar eclipse. Said [[loli]] stared at the eclipse for 4-5 minutes in a state of bewilderment and amazement at what was happening without turning away as she had been instructed by her parents. This story is put forth as a parable of the importance of listening to the advice of your parents and heeding their warnings.  
A section meant to herald advice to the reader; we learn of Ann, a 15 year old young woman who rendered herself blind not by [[masturbation]], but instead by staring at a solar eclipse. Said [[loli]] stared at the eclipse for 4-5 minutes in a state of bewilderment and amazement at what was happening without turning away as she had been instructed by her parents. This story is put forth as a parable of the importance of listening to the advice of your parents and heeding their warnings.  


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[[File:Pedopope.jpg|right|thumb|150px|[[Pedobear]] approves.]]
[[File:Pedopope.jpg|right|thumb|150px|[[Pedobear]] approves.]]
===A Child's Sexuality and Parenting: [[Pedobear]] Primer 101===
===A Child's Sexuality and Parenting: [[Pedobear]] Primer 101===
Every parent seems to reach a point when their children start to get interested in [[fucking|boning]]. Somehow, it feels strange or unnatural to talk about sexuality with a child. For the health and well-being of that child's spirituality, it becomes a necessity. The handy section on a child's sexuality blossoming is a great place to start to begin grooming the object of one's affections. It is good to know that Focus on the Family is taking such active strides to take all the thinking out of the equation for you.
Every parent seems to reach a point when their children start to get interested in [[fucking|boning]]. Somehow, it feels strange or unnatural to talk about sexuality with a child. For the health and well-being of that child's spirituality, it becomes a necessity. The handy section on a child's sexuality blossoming is a great place to start to begin grooming the object of one's affections. It is good to know that Focus on the Family is taking such active strides to take all the thinking out of the equation for you.


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==How Can We Help?==
==How Can We Help?==
Life is full of difficult questions that we struggle to find the answers to. Thankfully, Focus on the Family is helping remove that pesky decision making process from your life. Instead, you can Ask a Question or browse questions already asked. Isn't it amazing how we can find the answers to all the difficult questions and our identity with [[God]] on one convenient website? The amazing thing is the number of people that are somehow under the assumption that any other person can somehow expand their relationship with God and understanding of the universe. Hey, [[priest|that guy]] you've trusted the last 40 years to guide you spiritually into an eternity of [[Heaven]] or [[Hell]]? Yeah, [[pedophile|he was fucking kids]]. Sorry, bro.
Life is full of difficult questions that we struggle to find the answers to. Thankfully, Focus on the Family is helping remove that pesky decision making process from your life. Instead, you can Ask a Question or browse questions already asked. Isn't it amazing how we can find the answers to all the difficult questions and our identity with [[God]] on one convenient website? The amazing thing is the number of people that are somehow under the assumption that any other person can somehow expand their relationship with God and understanding of the universe. Hey, [[priest|that guy]] you've trusted the last 40 years to guide you spiritually into an eternity of [[Heaven]] or [[Hell]]? Yeah, [[pedophile|he was fucking kids]]. Sorry, bro.


[[File:Fof003.jpg|right|150px]]
<!--[[File:Fof003.jpg|right|150px]]-->
 
==[[X in my Y|Child Molesters? In my "Focus" on the Family?]]==
==[[X in my Y|Child Molesters? In my "Focus" on the Family?]]==
Focus on the Family seemed to have let their focus slip long enough to employ 42 year old Mexican. Said Mexican decided it would be a good idea to [[troll]] for [[delicious]] [[loli]] on yon [[internet]]s. Having failed [[Computer Science III]], he instead managed to hook up with an undercover cop posing as a 15 year old girl out [[pedo baiting]]. The delicious [[lulz]] continue to roll in when revealed that Juan found God at 14 and had been serving as a Preacher since 19. Who says its just [[Catholic]] priests that like to fuck children?
Focus on the Family seemed to have let their focus slip long enough to employ 42 year old Mexican. Said Mexican decided it would be a good idea to [[troll]] for [[delicious]] [[loli]] on yon [[internet]]s. Having failed [[Computer Science III]], he instead managed to hook up with an undercover cop posing as a 15 year old girl out [[pedo baiting]]. The delicious [[lulz]] continue to roll in when revealed that Juan found God at 14 and had been serving as a Preacher since 19. Who says its just [[Catholic]] priests that like to fuck children?
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*[http://coloradoindependent.com/tag/juan-ovalle Sauce on Juan Ovalle]
*[http://coloradoindependent.com/tag/juan-ovalle Sauce on Juan Ovalle]
*[http://www.pluggedin.com/ Focus on the Family's idea of reviewing films]  
*[http://www.pluggedin.com/ Focus on the Family's idea of reviewing films]  


{{Christianity}}
{{Christianity}}
{{Sites}}
{{Timeline|Featured article January 4, [[2011]]|[[Meme Combining]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Uwe Boll]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article January 4, [[2011]]|[[Meme Combining]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Uwe Boll]]}}


[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
{{Sites}}

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