Douchebag: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Alg_faisal_shahzad.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Typical douche with [[Hands-free headset|douche accessory]]]]
[[File:Alg_faisal_shahzad.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Typical douche with [[Hands-free headset|douche accessory]]]]
[[File:Banana douche.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Just look at this douche]]]]
[[File:Banana douche.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Just look at this douche]]
[[File:Douchebags love to wear pink.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Douches are known to love wearing pink colored cloth, [[Homosexuality|it boosts their manliness]]]]
[[File:Bag_of_douche.jpg|thumb]]
[[File:Bag_of_douche.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:DouchePacket.jpg|thumb|150px|Feel fresh again!]]
[[Image:DouchePacket.jpg|thumb|150px|Feel fresh again!]]
[[File:Douchebags love to wear pink.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Douches are known to love wearing pink colored cloth, [[Homosexuality|it boosts their manliness]]]]
A '''douchebag''' is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because [[13-year-old boys]] (who made it an insult) are fucking [[stupid]]. If you are fucking [[stupid]], and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then read on!
A '''douchebag''' is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because [[13-year-old boys]] (who made it an insult) are fucking [[stupid]]. If you are fucking [[stupid]], and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then read on!


The douchebag is a common subspecies of the white [[cunt|American]] male jerk— a rude person who has an [[USI|over-inflated sense of self worth]], compounded by a low level of intelligence. Douchebags behave ridiculously in front of others, with no sense of how moronic they appear. They can be seen in almost any setting, although they do seem to prefer malls, college campuses, and country clubs.[[Image:LokiDouche.jpg|thumb|Sharp dressed douche.]]
The douchebag is a common subspecies of the white [[cunt|American]] male jerk— a rude person who has an [[USI|over-inflated sense of self worth]], compounded by a low level of intelligence. Douchebags behave ridiculously in front of others, with no sense of how moronic they appear. They can be seen in almost any setting, although they do seem to prefer malls, college campuses, and country clubs.[[Image:LokiDouche.jpg|thumb|Sharp dressed douche.]]
[[File:Bunch of fagly douches.jpg|thumb|left|250px|That's a pile of vagina shit]]


==Identifying the Douchebag==
==Identifying the Douchebag==
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==Qualities of a Douchebag==
==Qualities of a Douchebag==
[[Image:Fire_Window_Fall.gif|thumb|right|150px|Using the word makes you end up dying like this.]]
[[Image:Fire_Window_Fall.gif|thumb|right|150px|Using the word makes you end up dying like this.]]
[[Image:DubaiIdiots.jpg|thumb|right|When you're a douchebag and everybody knows it.]]
{{center|<youtube>Hw1ncADC9KM</youtube>}}
{{center|<youtube>Hw1ncADC9KM</youtube>}}
{{center|<youtube>Esa-qaPo7GQ</youtube>}}
{{center|<youtube>Esa-qaPo7GQ</youtube>}}
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==Classes of Douchebags==
==Classes of Douchebags==
[[Image:Prodouchebag.jpg|thumb|right|400px|'''''[[PROTIP]]:''''' how to be a douchebag.]]
[[Image:Prodouchebag.jpg|thumb|right|400px|'''''[[PROTIP]]:''''' how to be a douchebag.]]
{{center|<youtube>aB0uYgPkWrc</youtube>}}
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<youtube>aB0uYgPkWrc</youtube>
|}
There are three classes of douchebags:
There are three classes of douchebags:


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''"We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy''
''"We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy''


<center>
<center>{{frame|{{fv|Douchebags|background-color: orange;|font-weight: soft;
 
{{frame|{{fv|Douchebags|background-color: orange;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>edWdnX6IN_A</youtube>
|<youtube>edWdnX6IN_A</youtube>
|<youtube>swMnW3vWIA0</youtube>
|<youtube>swMnW3vWIA0</youtube>
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|<youtube>kJVmpLGjIdE</youtube>
|<youtube>kJVmpLGjIdE</youtube>
|<youtube>BDCPK4MiolQ</youtube>
|<youtube>BDCPK4MiolQ</youtube>
}}|border=pink|background=yellow}}
}}|border=pink|background=yellow}}</center>
<br>
<br>
</center>


== Professional Douchebag ==
== Professional Douchebag ==
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Image:Magicthompson.jpg
Image:Magicthompson.jpg
Image:douchek.jpg.jpg
Image:douchek.jpg.jpg
Image:FBDoucheOwned.jpg
Image:FBDoucheOwned.jpg|Facebook douche owned
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Psj7E.jpg|FUS-RO-DOUCHE!
File:Douche mutant.jpg|Douche mutant
File:Old douche nutsuck.jpg|Typical old douche nutsuck
File:Multiple collars douche.jpg|So many collars douche
File:Douchebag gi joe ginger barbie hulk.jpg|Douchebag gi-joe ginger barbie hulk OMG
File:Ok cupid douche.jpg|Typical douche profile on dating sites
File:It came with a dick but he ate it first.jpg|It came with a dick but he ate it first
File:Trash douche.jpg|LOL
File:Emo Scenefag Douche In The Wild.jpg|Emo scenefag douche in the wild
File:Douchebag camelface selfie.jpg|Le less known camelface selfie of le douche
File:Douchebag tanning fail.jpg|Who is the barbiest doll? who?
File:Douchebags at party.png
File:How the world sees douches with bluetooth.jpg|How the world sees douches with bluetooth
File:Douche nutella.jpg|No moneyz for tan? Nutella is an option
File:Dear douchebags pls.jpg|Dear douches pls
File:Douche car.jpg|pinky douchebag vehicle
File:Azn douchebags.jpg|Azn douchebags, yerrow is sooo coor
File:Typical douchebag money selfie.jpg
File:Fb needs this.jpg| Zeckerberg is a douche
File:Douche on public traffic.jpg|A douche must mark his territory everywhere
File:Just another pinky douche car.jpg|Just another pinky vinky douche car
File:Douchebag-at-its-finest o 3796181.jpg
Image:Jared_Leto_216288m1.jpg‎|It's difficult not to find a 'non douchebag' picture of this man.
Image:Jared_Leto_216288m1.jpg‎|It's difficult not to find a 'non douchebag' picture of this man.
Image:JackthompsonDouche.jpg|[[Facebook]] douchebag [[pwned]].
Image:JackthompsonDouche.jpg|[[Facebook]] douchebag [[pwned]].
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Image:Bigmussssles.jpg‎|[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510205999 Big muscles.]
Image:Bigmussssles.jpg‎|[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510205999 Big muscles.]
Image:Frat boy.jpg|They come in white too!
Image:Frat boy.jpg|They come in white too!
File:Psj7E.jpg|FUS-RO-DOUCHE!
File:Douche and his biotch.jpg|Douche and his biotch
File:Douche king queen.jpg
File:Brian-Bosworth.jpg
File:Big-jumbo-lighter-douchebag-1.jpg
</gallery>|0}}
</gallery>|0}}


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*[[Hippy]] - A stinky type of subhuman who are often seen smoking weed and fighting for homosexuality, underaged sex and abortions, faggot marriages and race-mixing.
*[[Hippy]] - A stinky type of subhuman who are often seen smoking weed and fighting for homosexuality, underaged sex and abortions, faggot marriages and race-mixing.


*[[Poor]] - Meh, they're all jobless deadbeats and the construction workers are either Polacks, Dagos, Mexicans or Niggers who are as dumb as a rock and eat cheap, shitty food from [[WAL-MART]].
*[[Poor]] - Meh, they're all jobless deadbeats and the construction workers are either Polacks, Dagos, Mexicans or Niggers who are as dumb as a rock and eat cheap, shitty food from [[Wal-Mart]].


*[[Spic|Cholo]] - These mestizo Chicano cunts who live in [[Ghetto|Barrios]] and constantly emulate Nigger culture (despite hating them) but with a Latino twist, these spics will also try to engage in sex with both [[White|Blancas]], [[Azn|Chinas]], [[Spics|Chicanas]] AND [[South America|Sudacas]].
*[[Spic|Cholo]] - These mestizo Chicano cunts who live in [[Ghetto|Barrios]] and constantly emulate Nigger culture (despite hating them) but with a Latino twist, these spics will also try to engage in sex with both [[White|Blancas]], [[Azn|Chinas]], [[Spics|Chicanas]] AND [[South America|Sudacas]].
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== Douche-bags on the [[internet]] ==
== Douche-bags on the [[internet]] ==
<center><youtube>4-tYIntmwRU</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>oWrzskjcJJo</youtube></center>


== The Two Douches ==
== The Two Douches ==
 
{|style="margin:0 auto"
<center>
|{{videoframe|The Two Douches|background:white|font-weight:bold
 
{{frame|{{fv|The Two Douches|font- black
|<youtube>swMnW3vWIA0</youtube>
|<youtube>swMnW3vWIA0</youtube>
|<youtube>9oOEIMQNknw</youtube>
|<youtube>9oOEIMQNknw</youtube>
|<youtube>SFR_8ZCRK2s</youtube>
|<youtube>SFR_8ZCRK2s</youtube>
|<youtube>D7TsOQnLl7I</youtube>
|<youtube>D7TsOQnLl7I</youtube>
|<youtube>edWdnX6IN_A</youtube>
|<youtube>edWdnX6IN_A</youtube>}}
}}|border=black|background=blue}}
|}
<br>
</center>


== Also See ==
== See also ==
*[http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com hotchickswithdouchebags.com URL is self-explaining.]
*[http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com hotchickswithdouchebags.com URL is self-explaining.]
*[http://douchebagalert.com See how big a douchebag you are]
*[http://douchebagalert.com See how big a douchebag you are]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDc8qN30XXM Don't mess with him, he has military men cry.]
*{{ytlink|sDc8qN30XXM|Don't mess with him, he has military men cry.}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/roboulders the greatest rapper alive]
*{{yt|u|roboulders|the greatest rapper alive}}
*[http://www.myspace.com/joeyrichison one of myspace's very best]
*{{myspace|joeyrichison|one of myspace's very best}}
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510205999 muscle man]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510205999 muscle man]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMdmmYtwjx0 Elijerrr]
*{{ytlink|iMdmmYtwjx0|Elijerrr}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDeWJqKx3Y0 PSA - Don't sleep with these guys]
*{{ytlink|SDeWJqKx3Y0|PSA - Don't sleep with these guys}}
*[[Gaia]] [[Luser]] [http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/?u=5482220 Sleepy] [http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/myposts/5482220/ Le Bone]
*[[Gaia]] [[Luser]] [http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/?u=5482220 Sleepy] [http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/myposts/5482220/ Le Bone]
[[Category:Epithets]][[Category:IRL Shit]]
 
 
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 06:31, 13 January 2023

Typical douche with douche accessory
Just look at this douche
Feel fresh again!
Douches are known to love wearing pink colored cloth, it boosts their manliness

A douchebag is a feminine hygiene product. However, it eventually became an insult, because 13-year-old boys (who made it an insult) are fucking stupid. If you are fucking stupid, and were looking for the definition of "douchebag" that applies to the insulting version of the word, then read on!

The douchebag is a common subspecies of the white American male jerk— a rude person who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence. Douchebags behave ridiculously in front of others, with no sense of how moronic they appear. They can be seen in almost any setting, although they do seem to prefer malls, college campuses, and country clubs.

Sharp dressed douche.
That's a pile of vagina shit

Identifying the Douchebag

Note the Extreme sadness created by being in the presence of a douchebag.

The common American douche is easily identified as a result of their distinctive manner of dress. There are slight variations, but common traits shared among them are as follows:

  • Tom Brady
  • Gelled hair
  • Aviator Shades (usually worn when not needed, e.g., indoors)
  • Plaid shorts
  • The Two Douches[1]
  • Pastel polo shirts with popped collars, often wearing several at the same time
  • Designer T-shirts (especially Ed Hardy)
  • Brand new worn-out jeans, worn with overpriced flipflops
  • Bluetooth Headsets
  • Those flattened link chains
  • Drives a red car
  • Buttoned up collared shirt, worn open so the muscle shirt beneath is visible
  • "Vintage" T-shirts of bands they've never listened to and know nothing about
  • Quote Shitty Movie lines (usually from films involving Adam Sandler)
  • Have an iPhone
  • The quintessential douche accessory beyond questionable doubt is the Douche Hat.
  • Drives a Hummer or some other loud gas-guzzling SUV type thing
Exhibit A:


typical douche attire
Sean Penn seems to have been used and then discarded by some old whore as an intimate hygiene product.

Also douchebags are known for extreme orange tans, a look that makes it appear is if they just got done bathing themselves in carrot juice.


   
 
I wear polos with plaid shirts[sic]sometimes. Go ahead and say that's how douchebags dress, but if Ralph Lauren makes you a douchebag, what does your clothing make you?
 

 
 

—An offended douche

Qualities of a Douchebag

Using the word makes you end up dying like this.
When you're a douchebag and everybody knows it.

There are many ways for someone to be classified as a douchebag, but the main qualities of a douchebag are: stubbornness, complains excessively, asinine goals in life , extravagant, and knows he/she is right and you are wrong. They often have a short temper, but they usually are pussies and run to solitude.

Douchebags are commonly sighted attaching to their mangier, odorous silent partners, the ones who squeeze right into infected ground zero, THE DOUCHENOZZLES. ie. Giuliani

Classes of Douchebags

PROTIP: how to be a douchebag.

There are three classes of douchebags:

  1. The Plain Douchebag: Loud, Stupid, and Famous.
  2. The Educated Douchebag: While they have done their homework on whatever it is they are doing, what they are doing is spectacularly dumb; whether it be their main goal, or their motives, its extremely retarded.
  3. The Nice Douchebag: While they can seem like the nicest person alive, they are a douche through and through. An example is John Hardy, who gives jobs and food to hundreds of people in Bali on his farm. However, he lives extravagantly . . . believing that every time he looks at the mountains from his house, it lets him realize how amazing he is.
  4. The Goth Douchebag: Exactly what it sounds like. They are the rarest kind of douchebags. They wear platform boots, listen to Voltaire, and always get the hottest dead bitches. Examples: Gothzilla, TheeObsidianReaper, Jerry from Doomsday Refreshment Committee, Don Henrie

here is a picture of a typical douchebag http://newmedia2.funnyjunk.com/pictures/birth_control.jpg "We’re living in one of the most beautiful places on the planet…we don’t need ornamentation." – John Hardy


Professional Douchebag

I accidentally Nazi

Gallery

Galleria Le Douche About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Types of Douchebags

  • Redneck - This sub-species of douche often resides in Rural Areas and are best known for raging at NASCAR and WWE games, fucking their cousins (and at rare occasions, animals) and racist attacks towards Niggers and Mexicans.
  • Emo - These faggots often vent their frustrations on the Internet, pitifully seeking attention from everybody they engage in contact with, these kids are more faggot than douchebag though most of these rejects often act "scene", so can be included.
  • Goth - These punks are more volatile and hateful towards people as they shoot schools, befriend strange Azn kids to assist them and continue to write poems and listen to depressing, satanic music.
  • Guido - These popular faggots are easily identified with their dyed orange skin, making themselves look like Castizo Mexicans and wear lip gloss... that's both the women AND men, just to clear things up!
  • The French - These cocksucking faggots are universally loathed by their negative attributes as these guys hate America and lost EVERY world war and always surrender in wars, these people are snobby assholes and will never be white with all the Sand Niggers they have escaping into their country.
  • Chav - Britfag equivalent to the 'Frat Bro' as these kids act as if they are shit poor and black, making them also partially Wigger and Redneck, these are the types of people whose idea of fun is to throw up on somebody's car and terrorize towns with their hoodies and graffiti, making them also part Sand Nigger.
  • Wigger - Every Suburbanite's worst enemy... these kids are complete douches and will often bully in High Schools, they are roughnecks and consider themselves bad-ass but will NEVER try to start a fight with a person their own size, they are pretty much hated by about everyone, apart from other Douchebags of course.
  • Yuppie - Annoying former Hippies/Hipsters who show off their wealth and try to shove their Liberal beliefs down your throat, they hate Rednecks, Chavs and Niggers.
  • Punk - A bunch of annoying faggots who (along with Goth, Hipster and Emo) shop at Hot Topic, these types are Liberal advocates who will often pick fights with Skinheads, this type acts hard to be hardcore and are considered super effective towards White Trash and Rednecks but weak and helpless towards Jocks, Guidos or Wiggers.
  • Hippy - A stinky type of subhuman who are often seen smoking weed and fighting for homosexuality, underaged sex and abortions, faggot marriages and race-mixing.
  • Poor - Meh, they're all jobless deadbeats and the construction workers are either Polacks, Dagos, Mexicans or Niggers who are as dumb as a rock and eat cheap, shitty food from Wal-Mart.
  • Cholo - These mestizo Chicano cunts who live in Barrios and constantly emulate Nigger culture (despite hating them) but with a Latino twist, these spics will also try to engage in sex with both Blancas, Chinas, Chicanas AND Sudacas.
  • Retard - These spazzes often spend their time eating shit and boogers and screech their voices in high-pitched agonizing pain... this particular breed of 'Retard' can also be seen trolling on the Internet all the time, but horribly. "0FTBNSE8FN TYPING LIEK DIS" "HSSJJDDH948H8GIHBS" "HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE" "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "SMHSMHSMHSMH". The other breed of Retard is an offensive slur for a person who is actually disabled and for all circumstances should NOT be called that word.
  • Ape - These low-life, subhuman pile of demon jizz are usually seen in an inner-city background and causing havoc, rioting and raping blond women, they will often harass you for money despite being work-shy, sons of bitches who can't bother to get off their lazy ass and get a job, borrow your money, tell them no? Ha! Either way they'll just steal it, attack or shoot you for it, they hate humans of every race (from Whites to Hispanics to Polynesians) yet will ALWAYS consider themselves to be Human rather than they apes that they are and will RAGE about it if you call them otherwise. SEE MORE IN Nigger.
  • Arab - Arabs/Iranians who follow the Guido scene but instead they put a heap of foundation on their face and try to look "white" along with sporting huge beer bellies (yes, women included) and sprout hair all over their bodies, dress up in tracksuits and drive shitty white BMWs.
  • Brony - Trolls on the Internet who are into "Religious Fanaticism" and worship MLP as the average Hipster would worship Apple, these guys can also be fat Dykes, hated by Anime Freaks, Jocks and Wiggers but liked by Furries. These fat fags are also 50-YEAR OLD MEN. MLP should just be for six-year old girls and below... and that's the end of it "SMH".
  • White Trash - One step below Redneck and are ALWAYS poor WASP Americans, MANY generations of inbreeding and are always seen waving the WRONG Confederate flag.
  • Bohemian - These cunts deliberately attempt to stand out from the in-crowd and will constantly try to avoid being "mainstream" and call us commoners or "conformists", High School communists who at times will act like a depressed Proletariat.
  • You - LOL! No, you are just pathetic, and do not intimidate anybody! But are hated as much as one.

Douche-bags on the internet

The Two Douches

See also