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Belarus: Difference between revisions
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{{ | {{spoiler|Glorious Emperor saved Ryanair Flight 4978 from a terrorist bombing! Ungrateful EU imposes sanctions!}}<br><br> | ||
[[File:Problema.jpg|thumb|right|Lukashenko is the first Emperor of the shire of Belarus, He has upheld an oath to take to the frontlines if any wise cracking American dares to plant a Mcdonalds chain.]] | |||
Belarus, officially the Republic of Belarus, is a landlocked <s>country</s> [[Russia|Soviet Puppet State]] in Eastern Europe. It is bordered by Russia to the east and northeast, Ukraine to the south, Poland to the west, and Lithuania and Latvia to the northwest. It has the dubious distinction of being controlled by foreigners more times than [[Poland|Poland]]. | |||
Belarus, | Countries that have owned Belarus include, but are not limited too; Russia, Lithuania, Poland, and even the Polotsk principality, whatever the fuck that is. | ||
==Indisputable proof Belarus is fucking awesome== | ==Indisputable proof Belarus is fucking awesome== | ||
{{center|<youtube>KUnY19OnkJc</youtube>}} | {{center|<youtube>KUnY19OnkJc</youtube>}} | ||
[[File:Bust an AK.jpg|thumb| one man army]] | [[File:Bust an AK.jpg|thumb|center|one man army]] | ||
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[[File:NOT GAY.jpg|thumb|right|600px|[[Faggot|Straight Belarussian Pride]] ]] | [[File:NOT GAY.jpg|thumb|right|600px|[[Faggot|Straight Belarussian Pride]] ]] | ||
[[File:Fistingbelarussian.jpg|thumb|right|proof Lukashenko loves Goatse ]] | |||
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The great Premier decreees that he will rather be dictator than be [[gay]]. Lukashenko defended the legitimacy of his re-election and vowed that Belarus would never have its own version of the Orange Revolution, in which every well built man must report in private to Lukashenko to prove his [[Goatse|manhood]]. | |||
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<youtube>4dS9zUtMQsA</youtube> | {{center|<youtube>4dS9zUtMQsA</youtube>}} | ||
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[[Image:Fatcowsun.jpg| | [[Image:Fatcowsun.jpg|550px|center]] | ||
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Oh Viktor you just can't put your hand from those moonpies can you you silly butterball. HEy now that big bowl of fancy swiss pudding was a big handfull of roubles be careful, youl gobble the enitre GDP at this rate. You are a real porker there arent you ;) | Oh Viktor you just can't put your hand from those moonpies can you you silly butterball. HEy now that big bowl of fancy swiss pudding was a big handfull of roubles be careful, youl gobble the enitre GDP at this rate. You are a real porker there arent you ;) | ||
== Crime and Punishment in Belarus == | == Crime and Punishment in Belarus == | ||
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Quite fortunate for you stupid barbaric Americans, there is only one crime in Belarus. Perhaps Belarussians are just better behaved than the pathetic western parasite. Or it could be that all the unemployed are paying government 200 dollars a month, you [[American]] welfare queens. The next protest will be centered on breathing heavily 5 times to indicate discontent for government. Participants expect to face life in prison or service in Lukashenko's private potatoe garden for Victor. Also, Belarus is the last European nation to practice the [[death penalty]], as they are badasses and don't give a fuck about what the rest of Europe says. | Quite fortunate for you stupid barbaric Americans, there is only one crime in Belarus. Perhaps Belarussians are just better behaved than the pathetic western parasite. Or it could be that all the unemployed are paying government 200 dollars a month, you [[American]] welfare queens. The next protest will be centered on breathing heavily 5 times to indicate discontent for government. Participants expect to face life in prison or service in Lukashenko's private potatoe garden for Victor. Also, Belarus is the last European nation to practice the [[death penalty]], as they are badasses and don't give a fuck about what the rest of Europe says. | ||
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<div align="center"><youtube>qOfbyGqzXKw</youtube></div> | <div align="center"><youtube>qOfbyGqzXKw</youtube></div> | ||
==2021 <s>Hijacking</s> Saving Plane from Bomb== | ==2021 <s>Hijacking</s> Saving Plane from Bomb== | ||
[[File:BelarusHijacking.jpg|center|400px]] | |||
On 23 May 2021, The Emperor of Belarus received a vision that a plane was in danger of being bombed. So he sent a MiG to "escort" the wayward craft to Minsk. | <br> | ||
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On 23 May 2021, The Emperor of Belarus received a vision that a plane was in danger of being bombed. So he sent a MiG to "escort" the wayward craft to Minsk, the capital. No bomb was found. As it turns out, the bomb decided to diffuse itself before suffering the wrath of the glorious Emperor of Belarus. However, as it so happens a reporter who was critical of the Emperor was on board. This dangerous fugitive was arrested and sent to be immediately <s>tortured</s> given hospital care. Roman Protasevich's [[lie|arrest had nothing to do with bomb threat]], he just happened to be on the plane in question. [[Superpower#EU|The EU]] then got butthurt and sent a very stern letter to Belarus [[Incontinent_Student_Bodies|crying like a little bitch]]. According to the EU, Belarus made up the bomb threat in order to have the plane land for the sole purpose of arresting this reporter, thereby putting their citizens in danger. [[𝕿𝖍𝖊_𝕵𝖊𝖜𝖘_𝖆𝖓𝖉_𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖗_𝕷𝖎𝖊𝖘|But we know the truth]]. | |||
{{timeline|Featured article May 24, 25 and 26, [[2021]]|[[Goth]]|[[Belarus]]|TBD}} | |||
{{commonwealth}} | {{commonwealth}} | ||
