Dominican Republic

Leonel Fernandez, current president of the DR and Hæti.

The Dominican Republic (pronounced [ɪ'm fʊckɛd]) is the cholera-stricken, overseas borough of the U.S. state of Jew York City. Full of niggers in denial, this shithole shares its land with, of all shitholes, Hæti.

People

Typical Dominican and his wife.

A failed nation since the Declaration of Independence, Dominicans are nonetheless a proud people and feel specially proud of the smallest achievement that any of yhem has abroad. This includes, obviously, only those fields where blacks succeed, like music and baseball.

Most Dominicans are living off the government tit; this is one of the many reasons why the country is a monumental failure.

Also, Dominicans are extremely sensitive about their race and about criticism in general, to the point of ignoring much worse things. This very article might hurt them a lot, yet they're impervious to the fact that anybody can spend US$30,000 from public funds in a bar with whores and friends.

Not black

Sammy Sosa, black/not black.

Black Dominicans aren't really black. They call themselves "indios" to avoid the terrible reality of being black in a world that doesn't like blacks.

Like most blacks, they straighten their hair and use Sammy Sosa's magic cream to whiten their skin, because to look pretty is to look less black. Everybody knows that.

Therefore and contrary to popular belief, dark-skinned people do not outnumber whites in the DR, and most estimates say that 90 percent of Dominicans are white, whereas the rest is black, wigger or of mixed race.

A minority is composed of fascist spaniards and mafioso italians emigres. They're not black either.

DR & Hæti

Relations between DR and Hæti have never been warm. This is because Dominicans don't like Hætians and because Hætians know it.

However, in 2010 the Dominicans were first on the scene offering support to their neighbors after the devastating earthquake that left Port-Au-Prince in shambles. Of course, this was done to prevent millions of Hætians crossing the border into the Dominican Republic. Honestly, what would you have done?

How to troll Dominicans

A device too complicated for Dominicans

• Tell them that mulattos are still niggers.
• Tell them that light skinned people are niggers too.
• Tell them they look like Hætians.
• Suggest that Trujillo's regime was the best thing to happen to the country.
• Convince them that an invasion from Hæti is inevitable, and the merging of the two countries will happen by 2015.
• Propose castration as a legal punishment for infidelity, stealing electricity and spending the entire income in rum and beer.
• Close their airports.
• Ask them why do they want to be Puerto Ricans.
• Tell them Juan Luis Guerra is shit.
• Ask them about the banana boat they came to this country in.
• Compare them to Mexicans.
• Tell them Prince Royce and Romero Santos are faggots.

Gallery

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  Dominican SpongeBob SquarePants

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  Not gay

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  A Dominican taxi

See Also

• Not racist
• NO NIGGERS