Korea
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Background
Once upon a time, Japan surprise buttsexed China, and KOREA is the prolapsed colon that resulted. During the 1950s Korea was the site of some epic IRL drama, when war broke out between the North and South due to a lack of good StarCraft servers. After repeated defeats, the South asked the Americans for help, in response the Americans and pretty much the rest of the world proceeded to invade and drive back the North all the way to the Chinese border. However, more drama was to be begotten when paranoid chink commies, most armed with little more than their microscopic ding dongs, went apeshit and launched a surprise offensive on the UN armies, who, after some serious anal raping, then agreed to a ceasefire. The Vietnam War initiated the proud American tradition of bombing the shit out of other countries in order to save them, and introduced the world to the noble Chinese tradition of rounding up a bunch of illiterate peasants, giving them a couple of twigs, and forcing them into heroic, suicidal "human wave" attacks. The border of North and South Korea hasn't changed since, with both sides engaging in a stand-off.
There are a few Koreans in Japan, and the Japanese there, practicing exceedingly high standards concerning racial purity, treat them as niggers.Also, the chasm between Western and Eastern part of Korea is high, as they try not to taint their royal Azn blood with niggers, white devils, or other Azns in Korea.
Foods/Customs
Korean dishes include boiled grasses, leaves, boiled dogs, boiled cows; anything that is boiled and cooked with red-pepper can be Korean. While some love Korean food, typical Korean dish, which consists of Kimchi, Radish-Kimchi, White-Kimchi, more Kimchi, and rice, is not edible to humans, except for maybe hungry people that live in Africa. The legend actually has it that koreans drip kimchi when they bleed.
Koreans have very odd custom of calling anyone older "hyung/oppa/nuna", which means older brother or older sister. As a result, in many case of Korean relationships, people say "my sister/brother" when they are having sex, which kind of explains why Japs(that came from Koreans) are obsessed with incest hentai. But Koreans don't have to do that since Korean couples engage in daily incest role play. Due to possible broken DNA resulting from incestuous relationships, we can still confirm that Koreans are very proud of their Korean heritage(which probably consists of copying other heritages.)
Most of the students in Korea are virgins, preparing to become great honorary Azn wizard. Their sports of choice include memorizing useless crap, watching K-pop when they are not sleeping, watching Japanese porn and hating Japs at possibly at the same time, and masturbating with their well plagiarized achievements. Although Koreans naturally suck at sports, they are better than any other ethnicity at talking about sports.
Recently Korean government banned pornography because Korean women could not stand the sight of women online that had bigger boobs and asses than them,(which is practically everyone in the world); however, Korean virgin males did not react because they were shamed of having Azn dicks.
Korean men like to brag about mandatory military service, which can best be likened to Auschwitz, except that it is worse because you would have to see Korean fags talk all day about K-pop and eat kimchi all day. Historians claim that faggotry practiced among Koreans stem from long history of slavery.(No, this is actually serious, slaves made up 50% of the population in the last Chosun dynasty of Korea). Naturally, Koreans are nigger asians; however, particular faggotry is practiced only among Korean themselves because people from other race actually stand up for themselves and beat the shit out of anyone who does it.
In their long shitty history, (imagine the never-ending series of sharknado movies), there have been no Korean historical figures that influenced the world in a positive manner; however, King Sejong and Lee-Soon-Shin are famous to test-makers in the US for making frequent appearances in the essay section of the SAT. Believe it or not, some conspiracy theories claim that Adolf Hitler had a Korean ancestry.
Simplified
North Korea: The pimps with the nukes.
South Korea: The players with the shitty tech.
According to Samuel Huntington the whole idea is for Good Korea to inherit Evil Korea's Nukes after they all starve, thus joining the Nuclear Club, guilt-free.
How to Troll a Korean
- Say anything good about Japan at all. Srsly, try it; it works. For more lulz, "mistake" them for Japanese: enjoy the effects.
- Go around saying that Koreans originate from Southeast Asia, like this gook, and all the studies done in major universities are all lulz.
- Buy a Korean girl a fake designer purse (make sure it is a good fake, they have a sense that allows them to be able to sniff out all but the best fakes), have sex with her (should be no problem once she thinks you bought her something expensive with some French or Italian guy's name on it), then reveal to her that the purse is a fake that you bought off some Nigerian guy at a flea market for $10 and watch as her head implodes with rage.
- Say "Dokdo (Takeshima for more lulz) belongs to Japan!" This is guaranteed to send any Korean into an epic rage. An EPIC, EPIC RAGE.
- Explain to them how wonderful the Kim dynasty is, then ask their opinion on the family.
- Tell them that most Korean words come from China.
- Ask them how many times Korea has been invaded.
- Call them "gook," "chink," "Chinese," or "panface." (Obviously this is not trolling. Koreans will become Cho Seung-Hui)
- Tell a Korean girl she'd look so much better with an eye job.
- Tell them about your trip to Asia, and make sure to say that the Korean whores were the best.
- Tell a Korean man that your girlfriend is Korean.
- Ask if dog tastes good.
- Inform a Korean man that usually, when a Korean girl goes to college she can't get enough nigger dick.
- Tell a Korean man that his wife wasn't a virgin, she had hymen replacement surgery. Say that she was your girlfriend, during which time you fucked her as much as possible, and he's lucky to have such a sweet piece of ass.
- Tell them that Japanese is an infinitely more beautiful language than Korean.
- Tell them how Korea has spent its entire history being the bitch of either China, Japan, or the USA.
- Talk to them in Japanese and expect them to understand you completely.
Be careful; they often carry knives.
Fun Facts
- All Koreans have hardons for StarCraft.
- Korean believe they are the best Asians, just like the Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese- Oh FUCK it, all Asians are retarded. Except for the Filipinos, who make themselves everyone's bitch.
- All Koreans are extremely susceptible to unquestioning belief in urban myths and old wives tales; in modern times those backed by email chain letters or Korean news rather than any actual scientific evidence are particularly dangerous when released upon unsuspecting Koreans. A favorite is that eating dog will transform your vocal chords into those of an opera singer. Also, see fan death.
- Koreans are actually aliens from the planet of Korethra. Your base ours is now.
- 99% of Koreans bear the surname "Kim," "Lee," or "Park."
- one good example of someone with the surname kim is the hot kim tae hee , someone with lee is the hot lee ha nui or someone with pak is pak chae rim
- King Dong Dil, leader of North Korea, is actually a robot.
- Korean tears are chemically unrelated to tears from any other ethnic group on the planet.
- Everything that goes wrong in Korea is the Japan's fault. If you insult or complain about Korea, you must be Japanese. No exceptions. Just ask the gooks.
Typical Response to an American
- Yankee Go Home!
- I'M KOREAN! SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN! AMERICAN IS PIG! DO YOU WANT CHEESEBURGER? DO YOU WANT PIZZA? AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING! BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS MURDERER! FUCKING U.S.A!!!!1
- Your beef tastes like dog turds in glue.
- You mean nothing to us...except for Blizzard.
- KKKKIIILLLL NNNNOOOORRRRTTTTHHH KOOORREEEAAAAA
- But After the 2010s, South Korean sentiment toward the United States has come to favor the United States, with the exception of a few anti-Americans.
Brutally True Facts About Koreans
- They smell.
- North Koreans are mind-fucked and think their country is full of purity thanks to their grorious reader.
- Lower-class Koreans are extremely hot-headed, any words that sounds like an insult towards them and they will punch you in the face with no remorse.
- Koreans are either people that are mentioned above, or SAT nerds with giant glasses and loads of SAT-prep books stacking in their room just so they can try and get into Harvard, but usually end up going to some school for rich Korean failures like Bucknell.
- Koreans eat dogs. They really do, and they really don't like to talk about it.
- The Koreans are the only race on the planet that are both more xenophobic and materialistic than the Jews.
- Koreans think they are tough shit and are better than Americans, but the sad truth is if it wasn't for Jewnited States of Americunts saving their sorry asses back in Korean War, the entire peninsula will be buttraped by the grorious reader. America is still saving their asses by patrolling the DMZ. If it weren't for the U.S., South Korea would belong to Kim Jong-Il.
- Koreans think their history consists of 5,000 years, but 95% of it are lies.
- They come to America and/or the Philippines for education, because Korean universities are hellholes of suicide epidemics.
- Koreans look down on any non-Koreans just because they are Koreans.
- Every individual Korean must stay within 30 feet of another Korean, for if one doesn't stay close enough to another for a day, he will slowly rot to the ground.
- The term "Gold Digger" is actually derived from the first Empress of Korea named Queen Geul Dik-geon, who would only ovulate after her lover, the first Emperor of Korea, spent well over the equivalent of modern $100 million USD on designer hand bags, shoes, and plastic surgery for her. The pair went on to father the Korean people, with this trait still being seen today in all Korean women.
- Koreans actually believe Japanese Samurai originated from Korean Samurang.
- On the rare occasion a Korean immigrant converses with someone of a different ethnicity, they'll go on and on about how great their home country is, despite having jumped at the chance to move to the nation they currently live in.
- K-pop is used to hide their country's truth, just to only get their attention and its good images. They get so butthurt whenever someone (doesn't need to be anti-sentimental or so) exposes them into complete misery.
- Their education is consistent of Hangul, and about the fucking island of Dokdo (Oh scratch that, Dokdo isn't even their land! LOL, it was Takeshima!)
- Many Koreans, especially the ones in America, are hard-core evangelical Christians, and will openly discuss religion anywhere, anytime. Do not be surprised if a Korean sitting next to you on the bus asks you if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. If you say, "no," he will proceed to give you a sermon, telling you that you will certainly go to hell. If you try to get away from him, he will follow you.
- You should be glad you're not a South Korean citizen, because all male citizens are required to serve 2 years in the military, which is basically worthless since they're gonna suck America's cock for help again once there is a war. Most of their time is spent sucking their CO's cocks to not get beaten up and pulling out weeds with their bare hands while they're paid $100 a month to do so, which just shows that they're only meat shields to buy time for good old 'Murican freedom where the women are exempt from this meaningless conscription.
- Be cautious of any Koreans near you, for one of them might want to go for a high score and blow up a college near you.
- Any game from Blizzard, Riot, or Nexon is just like oxygen for the Koreans, for if they stop playing it, they will die; they're much more important than their babies.
- Koreans think their culture is unique, but it's basically a rip-off mix between Japan and China.
- Koreans are much uglier and their eyes are much slantier than their Asian neighbors, that's why plastic surgery is so popular in Korea. Their faces are also flat, which is why they are called "panfaces."
- Every student who graduates each term, will receive a plastic surgery, because their panfaces deshape at least each year.
- No one gives a shit about Koreans (except for Koreans themselves of course, and the few, pathetic Koreaboos).
- Unlike other Asians who move to the US and become Yuppie (China) and Hipster (Japan), Koreans tend to turn into gun-toting rednecks.
- In South Korea, people only purchase products from Korean brands (e.g. Samsung, Hyundai etc.). Purchasing anything from foreign brands will result in buttrape because people will think you're not supporting Korea.
- All Koreans are stalkers.
- If you think any of the above is false and are attempting to delete them, then you must be or at least partially Korean, because frankly non-Koreans never liked Koreans and always assumed they are the rudest and most pathetic group of people ever lived on Earth; and only Koreans think of themselves as pure and sinless.
- Koreans often are confused whether people are complimenting or insulting them. As a result, they resort to faggotry and act like dumbasses.
- Because their parents make them study constantly during childhood and adolescence, Koreans have no social skills and are extremely awkward around anyone who isn't Korean.
- There is always a Korean table in the dining hall of any major university. They do not mix with outsiders.
- They're rude, emotionally retarded, and reek of kim chee, garlic, and anchovies. Since they have panfaces, the average Korean male's face is frozen in an expression of unwarranted disdain.
- Korean women will stab to death their entire families for just a mere whiff of some white cock.
- They have nothing of their own. No tradition, but just copying others for the lulz and claiming it as a Korean invention.
- Had to invent the mukbang because half the population are friendless losers.
Korean Videos
Most of them are shit nobody cares about, like Kim Jong-Il's penis size or faburous Korean history, and the rikes. Enjoy these videos brought to you by the Korean Intelligence Agency.
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Famous Gooks
- Cho Seung-Hui
- Best Korea
- Best Korea
- Park Chan Ho
- Kari Ferrel
- The Gangnam Style Guy with the shitty dance moves
See Also
External Links
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Korea is part of a series on 대한민국
Typical Korean Culture. 한국의 문화 |
