Pindos
Pindos or Pendos (rus. Пиндос or Пендос) - it is word that Russians use to name a typical inhabitant of the Jewnited States of Americunts. So they name the USA as The Pindostan (rus. Пиндостан) or The Pindossiya (rus. Пиндоссия) or The United States of Pindossiya (rus. Соединённые Штаты Пиндоссии) (or shortly The USP - rus. СШП). The word comes from the Greek Πίνδος, which recently designated the Black Sea Greeks. Consonance of the word with well-known for Americans Spanish profanity "pendejo" (means "idiot" read as "pendeho") made the insulting meaning of the word equally understandable both for Russians and Americans. Also it should be noted that in the Greece and in the Balkans the word "Pindos" means narrow-minded, silly, rustic man. This is due to the fact that in Greece, Pontic Greeks, "Pindoses" as carriers of household traditions greatly differ from those of indigenous Greeks, were for at least 100 last years the subject of wicked jokes and anecdotes on the national theme. For example:
The first appearance of the word "Pindossiya" in the media space noted in the report about Russian paratroopers from Kosovo, who called American military peacekeepers as Pindoses. I did it for the lulz the commander of Russian peacekeepers in Kosovo General Yevtukhovich said at a meeting:
Typical Pindoses' distinguishing features
- They prefer to live in their beloved Pindossiya or in others capitalist countries except Russia (also they dislike Soviet Canuckistan because they regard it as a village).
- It is difficult for them to answer simple questions of general education, for example, "Portugal? I do not know where it is, somewhere in the south may be. Russia? I do not know." or "How many angles a triangle has". This is due to Pindoses' practicality, who do not want to teach something that is unlikely to be needed in, as well as this is due to their educational system, where good education requires good money. As a result, significant number of people in Pindostan have level of education that looks as unusually low for a Europe.
- Of course Pindoses do not know mathematical analysis at all. If you ask a Pindos "What is the probability that you meet a dinosaur on the street?" he answeres: "50%: I meet or do not meet".
- They wear shapeless clothing that looks more like a painted potatoes bag. Especially nigers abuse this. And there are quite a lot white people who imitate their style. They are called as wiggers, i.e. white nigers. Spacious clothes - it's not just a show off of a niger. It is just because that recently, when nigers were not barracks and they did what they really were able to do (i.e., swam in the holds, loaded cotton to/from ships and dead from AIDS) they had no choice, because there were a lot of nigers and only a few clothing, so a niger had to wear clothing after another niger. Another official version suggests that this niger Hip-Hop Style originated in poor areas where each old uncle Thomas living on welfare in a cabin had a bunch of kids. He could not afford new clothes for all of them, so juniors wore pants, T-shirts and caps after seniors. It is also believed that the fashion for baggy trousers created niggas sitting in jail, because they do not give clothes in size, so it turns out that niggas has to go in baggy trousers. It is also possible that in baggy pants it is easier to carry discreetly knives and packages with drugs. Also it should be noted that baggy trousers make easier running, jumping and striking. Also baggy clothes makes harder to an enemy to hit the body because baggy clothes hides body shape.
- Pindoses can not use a Personal Computer because they are too stupid for this. Instead of PC they play games on the Х-box (most primitive arcades only). For other purposes they use Macs. All Pindoses are lamers and just call admins who are lamers too, and until they call an Indian who solves their problems. In fact, the Indians are lamers too, but they at least know what should be choosed from the options «abort», «retry» and «ignore».
- Pindoses do not know basic things, and can not do anything without detailed instructions «how to» - how to be emo, how to be sexy, how to boil water and so on.
How to attract a Pindos (the easiest way): build a derrick mock-up, spill a jerrican of oil around the derrick mock-up and set any other flag except flag with stars and stripes. Also you can sow a tiny plot with opium poppy or cannabis. After a little time you will see the Pindoses and their scanty activity. Stand near the derrick mock-up and remember - Pindoses never bomb oil wells, unlike hospitals, embassies and churches. Approached Pindoses first of all ensure their security, dig trenches where they create reserves of hamburgers and french fries. According to the observations of known specialst on Pindoses Erwin Rommel, in such circumstances Pindoses are able to live rather long time, but only provided a constant supply of fresh and chilled orange juice and toilet paper. In case of a slightest danger Pindoses conceal themselves at the bottom of the trench and put out not earlier than after four hours that creates difficulties for naturalists. Well entrenched Pindoses do mass bombings of the area during those they first bomb, and then they lean out of the trenches and look who was killed. But often Pindoses do not care about it as Pindoses love to bomb and to shoot at peaceful residents, journalists, allies and their own puppet governments.
Pindoses' intelligence level is shown by the fact that their bombs and rockets that fall haphazardly Pindoses name "clever". After the area is completely bombed Pindoses disperse about the area where they remain in great perplexity of aboriginals' discontent until they find a next interesting object. Pindoses are essentially kind and credulous creatures and they are easily domesticated. To domesticate a Pindos build a saloon, provide him habitual food and a TV set. Sow the lawn for his morning jogging and do not forget to decorate Pindos with 3 or 4 Purple Hearts, Congressional Gold Medal and personal gratitude from President. And you will enjoy during many years his daily american flag lift, hear tails about heroic exploits for the sake of democracy and proudly show your personal Pindos to your neighbors.
Interesting facts
- Article about
Pindoses on Wikipedia was deleted several times by different Pindoses. - There is an article about Pindoses on the Russian Wikipedia.
Gallery
-
-
Young Pindoses
-
Pindos that became emaciated without hamburgers and french fries
-
Full-grown Pindos
-
He loves his country
Videos
Pindoses in Iraq Previous Video | Next Video |
See also
External Links
| Pindos is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
|---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
|
| Featured article February 12th & 13th, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Sherlock |
Pindos | Succeeded by SammyClassicSonicFan |