Never

No. Not going to happen. I don't care what you're going to say, it's not going to change anything. You might as well just leave if you think you can do anything about it. So just leave. Now. What, you thought you could actually DO something? You? Do something? That's very sad. I mean, you're never going to accomplish anything in your life anyway. Why are you trying now? You might as well lie down and die. Nothing will ever happen because of you, so you should just stop before you hurt yourself. Really. Just stop.

Things that will never happen

Moar info: Shit that will never happen.

You getting laid
Unseeing goatse
/b/ gets good
Poland into space
Forgetting
You going for a day without fapping
Uncyclopedia making a good article
Jews being less greedy
Nigger contributing to society
Niggers on the internet
You getting cake
You getting any respect
You getting any self-respect
Hypnotoad not getting ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
Anonymous forgiving
Anonymous forgetting
Anonymous not being able to deliver
eBaumsworld.com not stealing
Mentioning Candlejack without ge
You getting credited for any accomplishments
Pools not having AIDS
Your prayers are answered thanks to this bananafucker
Pools being open
~~Spy not sapping my sentry~~ This can actually happen if you have a bunch of flamethrower-weilding maniacs
You realizing how awesome The Sagas of Why Guy are
Learning who was phone
You beating Gary Oak
Porn of it not existing
Swiper not swiping

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Never

Things that will never happen

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