Russian Lurkmore
- See also: The LURKMORE wiki
Russian Lurkmore is a Russian parallel to ED. The previously-squatted domain encyclopediadramatica.ru in .RU zone (used to be a redirect to Russian Lurkmore) was an epic testament to this statement. Russian Lurkmore was created because no Russian ever wants to speak MOTHERFUCKING ENGLISH, but they still wanted to read lulzy articles online.
Origin
Russian Lurkmore was initially planned to be a rip-off of the unfunny Lurkmore Wiki, but in the Russian language. It came into existence when the creators of Lurkmore's Internets got tired of Russian wikipedos deleting any mentions of imageboards (as well as other asylums of basement dwellers, retards and other miscellaneous inhabitants of mankind's cesspool) from Wikipedia.
But there are only so many memes, and so, Lurkmore.ru changed from an "encyclopedia of memes" to an encyclopedia of memes, interwebz phenomena, and all other kinds of shit. Does that description remind you of something else? The reason for their existence is to do the same shit as us folks at ED - except they do it in Russian.
Comparison to Dramatica
So, Ruskies have themselves their own ED, with blackjack and hookers. Now, let's take a look at those boobs... um, we mean, specifics, of the site.
The catchphrase of Lurkmore.to is "facts > lulz". ...What the fuck?; Right, folks? This same rule is the cause behind 90% of shitty articles in this wiki, after all. The reason for that is the frickin' KGB, which monitors all Russia Internets. They can stop you from posting online by sending you to the cold, cold region of Siberia if you're doing it without prooflinks. Therefore, Lurkmore.to can't be a part of Anon's internet hate machine as openly.
95% of newly written articles on Lurkmore.ru are deleted by the blood-thirsty Administrators in their first ten minutes of existence. The only topics they don't touch are computer games and anime. Actually, all of the local content is being checked for SFW-ness and lulz-worthy content. You won't find any unfunny, ridiculous and pointless shit there as long as moderators ain't drinking vodka with bears (or even if they do).
You can also be easily pwned if you dare to even just be there in a moderator's presence (mostly if moderator is a jew). Most typical reasons for getting a ban are:
- For the lulz
- If they will decide you're an useless member. Yes, they will actually dig into your contributions.
- If you're using <ref> or <s> in your edits...
- If you're acting like a total asshole.
- If you're doing it wrong!!!
- If you're a 13-year-old boy...
- If you're part of the cancer that is killing /b/
On the other hand, you can still explain to the evil moderator why they're a dick, especially if he's jewish, and it'll be AWWWRIGHT. I guarantee it!
People of Russian Lurkmore
Most of Russian Lurkmore's userbase are anonymous, for Russia can only shit in the Internets anonymously, otherwise they'll be pwned by Party Van IRL.
Now let's see who we've got there:
- Brainless and useless office lemmings. They log in from their work offices (though they should have been fired and shot) and browse Lurkmore mostly for "бугагашечки" - 'bugagashetschkee', a corruption of Lulz. A 'Corruption' for real, though.
- Schoolboys. Nobody there likes these types. Being a 13-year-old boy is a 100% guarantee of fast and ruthless pwnage on the site. If you're a schoolboy - just get out from the Internets. And that means NOW. Internet got stupid because of you.
- Jew wannabes. You're not misreading that. In fact, not just Jew wannabes, but kike wannabes. It's fashionable and cool to be a kike, especially if you're a moderator.
- Lurk-tards (луркоёбы). This is a sort of cancer that is killing the internets. Most editors of Lurkmore.ru are lurktards. These people assume Lurkmore.ru as their Holy Bible. They don't have opinions of their own, so they just grab it from Russian Lurkmore's articles. They even think in templates made of LURK-SLANG and COPY-PASTE. Don't forget: In Soviet Russia... articles write you.
Editors
Writing articles for Lurkmore.to is a lulzy form of masochism. Once you click "Save page", you should be ready for unforeseen consequences, as in:
- Your article will be deleted in first 4 hours - that's if you're lucky, more liek first 10 minutes. Just enough time for you to drink a few shots of Vodka for your courage!
- You will be banned, and moderator will surely try and find the most offensive ban reason personally for you.
- Or, you'll get tons of shit dumped on your head in the article's discussion/talk page by your grateful readers.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
The Lurk-English dictionary
Lurk-speak is a Russian social phenomena. You must learn the dictionary below if you want to talk with Russians or if you want the sites' own Russians to understand you:
- 95% - Goes from Russian proverb "95% of country population are idiots, and each of them thinks he belongs to the rest". If you heard this term concerning you we have bad news for you.
- Over 9000 - The same cancer that is killing ED. It is international.
- X детектед (X detected) - Goes from "Flood detected". The indication from a detector. The most popular: butthurt detected, быдло detected.
- X же (X je) - Means "the hell X", in fact, it's "X desu~". Fansub is so fansub.
- X как бы говорит нам (X kak bi govorit nam) - As if X says to us.
- X смотрит на тебя как на говно (X smotrit na tebja kak na govno) - X looks to you as to the shit; X supposes you're a shit. In any case you still being a shit.
- X такой X (X takoj X) - X is so X. Examples: longcat is so looooooooooooooong; Free last.fm is free
- X-ёб or X-дрочер (X-job, X-drocher) - both are variants of X-fag. But "ёб" is more brutal than "дрочер".
- X-ота (X-ota) - The crap being generated by X, see Xynta
- Алсо - Also.
- Анальный (Analnij) Anal or ass-. The originated from ass-clown or ass-nigger. The used variations are: anal retribution, anal moderation, anal occupation, anal enclosure, anal slavery.
- Батхёрт - Butthurt
- Быдло (bydlo) - Bydlo is a Russian version of rednecks. Russian bydlo wears caps with with ear-flaps, plays balalaika, drives tanks, and drinks vodka with bears in Siberia. Bydlo undoubtedly belongs to 95%. Be careful: bydlo is very dangerous. These people can even commit communism.
- Быдло-X (bydlo-X) - Means "X that looks middling".
- Винрар - Winrar
- ВНЕЗАПНО (Vnezapno) - SUDDENLY. Must be written in capslock. Originated from 4chan: "Suddenly catgirls, thousands of them"
- Взаимоисключающие параграфы (Vzaimoiskluchajuschie paragrafy) - Mutually exclusive paragraphs. Used in trolling to make the opponent shit bricks due to contradictions.
- Всем похуй (Vsem pohuj) - nobody cares.
- Высер - (Vysser) - Shitty post. The most of content you posting online.
- Говно-X (govno-X) - Means "X that looks quite shitty".
- ГСМ - Humanitarian constitution of the brain. All philosophers, journalists, writers have ГСМ.
- Доставляет (Dostavlajet) - Delivers. Originated from "Anonymous Delivers!" Means that somebody delivers pleasure, fun and lulz.
- Двачую (Dvachuyu) - "Second that". Can be used as "X-chuyu", with X being replaced by the name/1 half of the name of the place where the phrase is used, for example, "Dramaticachuyu", "Journalchuyu"
- ЕРЖ - Jewish racial kike. All Jews are racial kikes. And nobody likes them.
- Запилить/выпилить (Zapilit and Vypilit). Like saw in and saw out. "Запилить" means "create something", and "выпилить" means "destroy".
- Копипаста - Copypasta
- Кошерный (כָּשֵׁר) - Kosher. Initially meant the food appropriate for God-selected people. In Soviet Russia means any good and appropriate thing.
- Лолшто (lolshto), or ЩИТО (schito) (Jewish version) - Lolwhat
- Лулзы - Lulz
- Люто, бешено (Luto, besheno) - Insanely. Sense is "very, very ..." One of usages: "люто, бешено ненавижу" - "I hate it insanely"
- Не нужен (Ne nuzhen) - DO NOT WANT
- Невозбранно (Nevozbranno) - Unrestricted, free. This word resembles Old Russian or Church Slavonic language and that's why it доставляет.
- Неиллюзорно (Neilluzorno) - Without illusions. Sense is "quite real".
- ПГМ (Православие головного мозга, Cerebral orthodoxy) - extremely insane religious belief. Does not necessarily mean Russian Orthodox Church or even Christianity. This is one of many terms that stem from 'ФГМ' (see below).
- Петросян (Petrosyan), Петросянство (Petrosyanstvo), petrosyanism - E.Petrosyan is an unfunny comic from Armenians. His jokes can only make laugh the 95-year old woman. Petrosyanism is a fail attempt to deliver lulz.
- Православный (Pravoslavnij) - Orthodox. Comes from Orthodox Church. In lurkmore this word is used to point that something is congenial to some community.
- Расовый (Rassovij) - Racial. Points to the nationality. For example: Jewish racial kikes, American racial niggers, Aryan racial Hitler. Especially effective in racist holy-wars.
- Специальная олимпиада (Specialnaya olimpiada) - Retard. Any debate OTI. Comes from proverb "arguing on the internets is like running in the Special Olympics: even if you win - you're still retarded".
- Сосни хуйца (Sosni huitsa) - Suck a cock. No, not a cock, more blandly: cocky.
- Срач (Srach) - Argue.
- Сферический X в вакууме (Sfericheskij X v vakuume) - Spherical X in vacuum. Originates from the physicists' joke about a spherical horse in vacuum. Points to ideal model of X which is not reachable in practice.
- Тупая пизда (Tupaja pizda) - Stupid cunt. A really stupid or arrogant woman.
- Унылый (unylyj) - Unfunny. УГ (UG) - Unfunny shit
- ФГМ (FGM) - Phimosis of the human brain. Phimosis is a Jewish national genital disease. Only uncircumcised Jews are liable to Phimosis. ФГМ is a next stage of Phimosis well described in Bible (Moses, Abraham). If somebody says you have an ФГМ he means you're schizophrenic.
- Фейл - Fail
- Флюродрос (Flurrodross) - The captation. This is what you do against your boss.
- Хуита (Huita) - Xynta.
- ЧСВ - An unwarranted self-importance. The term was brought by Dale Carnegie.
- Чуть менее чем <measure> (Chut menee chem <measure>) - A bit less than ... The most commonly used as "A bit less than full". Чуть более чем <measure> (Chut bolee chem <measure>) - A bit more than ... Example: "A bit less than a half"
- Школьник (Shkolnick) - Schoolboy. This is in the form of offense; Be careful not to use this IRL, as Russians hate their children.
- Экстерминатус (Exterminatus) - Extermination (in style of Latin)
- Эпический (Epicheskij) - EPIC
- Я гарантирую это (Ja garrantirryju eto) - George Zimmer
Videos
Petrosyan delivers lulz to your mom.
Gallery
-
A standard of "a bit more than half". Let's guess what is in this jar
-
Reliable proof-pic to "Сосни хуйца"
-
Some stupid cunt waits for a train. She is doing it wrong
-
Lolwhat? Lol bear!
-
ХУИТА
-
Over 9000. It is everywhere...
-
Anonymous delivers
-
Winrar! Winrar!
-
Example of mutually exclusive paragraphs
-
Выпилить. A good method to become An hero
-
ЕРЖ looks like a Jew at first sight
-
Копипаста
-
For lulz.
-
Do not want
-
Школота GTFO!
-
WH Exterminatus
-
He is the best illustration to Унылый
-
Люто, бешено ненавижу (the typical reaction of a Lurkfag to this article)
-
Traditional Jewish Phimosis
-
Racial scale IRL
-
They assume you're 'a shit'
-
Best guide to Detector For Dummies. Find it in Amazon
External Links
Useful
- Mirrored/Archived (unofficial) edition of their site while their official site stays offline
- Official Domain - internationally offline since early 2022
- The article about Dramatica in Lurkmore.ru
- Some translated articles from ED
Lurk moar
- Lurkmore.ru on Wikipedia (you know what to do)
- Prince Philip's opinion about 95%
Classic "nobody cares"- www.failfunnies.com — it's all about fails.
- More proofpics to bydlo
