SCP Foundation
Item #: SCP Foundation
Object Class: Dogshit
Special Containment Procedures: Under no circumstances should any person enter the SCP Foundation Wiki. Any individual exposed to the SCP Foundation Wiki must immediately report to Dr. M██████ for compulsory medical evaluation. Cyanide pills will be issued on a case-by-case basis. In the case an SCP wiki member exhibits signs of self-awareness and/or creative thinking, Mobile Task Force Beta-137 ("Glue Sniffers") operatives are to be dispatched to user's location. The use of elevated force and high-impact banhammers is authorized.
Discovery Log: First SCP sighting was reported on the /x/ imageboard of 4chan, dated to ██/██/2007. This original instance (designated SCP-173) was quickly followed by many other copycat pastas, utilizing the same clinical language and post format to describe common creepypasta tropes.
Description: The SCP Foundation Wiki is a website dedicated to the preservation and cataloguing of the numerous SCP copypastas that proliferated throughout /x/ and other miscellaneous internet forums beginning in 2007. SCP articles are short fiction works describing anomalous items housed by a shadowy world-spanning organization known as the SCP Foundation. SCP stands for either "Special Containment Procedures" or "Secure, Contain, Protect", depending on the mental faculties of the person being asked. From a very early stage the SCP wiki encouraged its users to contribute their own SCP articles to the site. This had had a detrimental effect on the overall quality of website, as most SCP wiki users evidently lack the writing ability necessary to create worthwhile original content.
The SCP wiki is under the management of an elitist council of left-wing LGBTQA+ staff members who maintain a strict policy of politically motivated gatekeeping. Theoretically, in order to write for the SCP wiki, an applicant must demonstrate adequate grammatical skills and a level of maturity greater than the typical fifteen-year-old. However, empirical observations have shown these requirements are rarely met, contributing to the sad state of the site.
Despite its noted lack of quality, as of 202█ the SCP wiki continues to chug along, shitting out █████████ ███████ at an alarming pace. The highest rated articles remain the few good ones written by anonymous 4chan users and early goon adopters. Most other notable articles invariably describe ████ monsters that have accumulated upvotes over the years by appealing to goth middleschoolers. As the sheer quantity of SCP articles increases, newer stories can only gain notoriety by employing unnecessary gimmicks that mess with the site's format.
Overview
Articles on the SCP wiki fall into two categories:
- SCPs - Pseudo-scientific dossiers of supernatural objects and phenomena. SCP articles consist of an object class, a description of an unoriginal horror concept, and the Special Containment Procedures, i.e. the several metric tons of lead, concrete, steel, black magic, nigras, proxies and magnets required to contain the AIDS.
- Tales - Unnecessarily capitalized term for a story. These include everything that isn't an SCP, and every single one is shit. Tales usually deal with the grand adventures and existential conflicts of the people living in the SCP universe. Other common Tale genres include apocalyptic events written in a style overflowing with purple prose, sentient SCP objects wishing they weren't forced to live in a box, and totally canon gay sex between two prominent and overused staff author avatars.
The SCP authors are very arrogant, talking endlessly about their "high standards". In order to write on their wiki, you have to fill out a fucking application form (no joke), respect stupidly complex sets of guidelines, gain the approval of at least two mouthbreathers for your concept, and have your draft scrutinized by IRC walruses who will criticize it for not specifying the exact number of hairs on the entity's butt. This stringent process is counterproductive at best to actual quality control, as elaborate purple prose and unfunny meme articles easily go through while actually decent contenders are rejected for being too short or too insensitive.
SCP wiki users are so full of themselves they even have a fucking historian history major dropout whose job is to document the Foundation's story from an IRL perspective.
Despite their unwarranted self-importance, the website's users are very easy to please with even the cheapest gimmicks and most asinine ideas, just as long as you cater to their pop-culture tastes and political sensibilities. One of the most highly rated articles can be summed up as "I'm writing an article with images, look how clever I am!" (SCP-2521). Other notable examples of the wiki's "high standards" are articles based around Minecraft (SCP-4335), Among Us (SCP-5167), Virtual YouTubers (SCP-6777) and Donald Trump (SCP-5004).
Content
—SCP Wiki user |
As the original userbase was gradually replaced by self-important would-be novelists and fanfic writers, the focus of the website shifted from horror and weirdness to memes and melodrama. Tales, which are universally derided for being boring self-inserts and semi-erotic fantasies, now make up a majority of new content. New SCPs all fall into one of five categories:
- Absolutely inane concept that could have been better served if it were written as a regular copypasta (or not written at all).
- Meme, video game or social media shit.
- Gimmick that fucks with the site's layout and format.
- 50,000+ wordcount short story horrendously overwritten for what is essentially a very simple concept.
- Super-special ultra-cool top-sicret Mary Sue powercreep bullshit that utterly breaks the lore.
That is, of course, discounting the absolute crapflood of broken English entries written by illiterate 12 year olds. Those thankfully end up deleted, eventually.
SCP writers regularly use grandiosity to compensate for a lack of creativity. Old SCPs tended to be a single weird object or creature. New entries now trend towards always being colossal world-ending apocalyptic monstrosities, massive alternative realities (complete with 500 pages of exploration logs), or entire advanced civilizations erased from history. This propensity to overwrite is reflected in the increasingly elaborate use of images, sound files, alternative stylesheets, unnecessary object classes, etc. While SCP users insist this trend indicates a rise in overall site quality, outside observers easily recognize it as a shiny coat of paint smeared over a pile of shit. Good creepypasta can be impactful even as just a plain text file.
Demographics
Staff
The staff of the SCP wiki are tasked with maintaining order on the site, which usually entails simple, normal shitpost cleanup. However, as with most forum moderators, the SCP staff regularly get high on power trips, complete with overreaction and abuse of power, sometimes in the false name of some greater societal goal. An example of this occurring on the wiki's forums would play out as follows:
Normal user: Where can I find info on containment classes?
Staff member: STAFF POST - CLOSED
or, alternatively:
Normal user: This article is shit.
Staff member: This behavior is unacceptable. Please read over the forum guidelines and the Guide to Newbies. Further infringements will result in a ban.
Another embarrassingly common trend on the SCP wiki is for the moderators to role-play as the cold and calculating Foundation Overseers from their fictional universe. They then proceed to drastically overreact to everything, such as in the example below:
Normal user: The sky is blue.
Staff member: As a general rule, you must always consider how your statements might be interpreted by your peers, even if you don't intend anything negative. I received a PM from a concerned fellow user, and they have found your post extremely distressing. Please keep that in mind when stating your opinion on the color of the sky in any future cases, otherwise disciplinary action will be taken.
An important aspect of both the fictional and factual versions of the SCP Foundation is the popular saying "The Foundation is cold, not cruel." In-universe, the phrase is used by Foundation employees who want to assure themselves that locking a human being in a jail cell just because they have magical powers is perfectly acceptable, and obviously for the greater good. Out in the real world, the saying is often thrown around the staff forums when staff members want to assure themselves that EXPUNGING someone for even the tiniest of transgressions is perfectly acceptable, and obviously for the greater good.
In other words — The staff are a bunch of losers ████ing as the in-universe high committee of the evil organization and have been doing it for so long it's actually gone to their heads. So now regular staff behavior includes pathetic attempts at acting edgy and abusing power, which with their slow creep towards far left beliefs makes the site increasingly resemble a socialist dictatorship.
████ Faggotry
It is perhaps inevitable that a community glorifying stories of moral ambiguity, excessive regulation, and oligarchical leadership with little concern for personal freedom will lean towards the political left. It would then come as no surprise that the SCP Wiki has become a haven for all manner of SJW faggotry.
You can find stuff like members being triggered by a doorknob being called sexy. Or statements such as "intersex, ██████████, and nonbinary personnel are prohibited from working with, handling, or approaching SCP-847", in an article which was rewritten for being too sexist (just read the discussion page). They also managed to have an horribly cringy Tale starring a transfag.
The most infamous example of SCP SJWism is the absolutely terrible SCP-2721 — a transgender alien that writes tumblr posts about MSPaint Adventures. When initially published, the article was downvoted into oblivion, mostly for being a boring and poorly-written self-insert. However, in the name of inclusivity, the SCP wiki staff intervened and unilaterally decided that the article's poor reception has nothing to do with it being dogshit, and has everything to do with scary far-right Nazis votebombing it for political reasons. The article has since been protected, and voting on it has been permanently disabled.
Beyond just shitty submissions, the Tumblrization of the website has resulted in increasingly restrictive guidelines and language policing. Despite ostensibly being a wiki for grotesque horror stories, any mention of rape is now prohibited. Previous articles which mentioned rape were re-written, such as SCP-847, or SCP-835, which has had any mention of ██████████ removed by its own author. Even SCP-231, one of the most famous articles, in which a young girl must be constantly raped otherwise it would be the end of the world, has been toned down to avoid offending fragile crybabies.
Satellite ███████
Though the userbase of main wiki can be laughable at times, it is mostly made up of people who can actually spell (as opposed to the drooling neanderthals of the Creepypasta wiki). However, many SCP fans are 16 year old girls who fail to pass even the rudimentary literacy tests put up by the wiki staff. Unable to cement their smutty fanfiction as official canon on the SCP wiki, these greasy hamplanets have been resigned to squirt their godawful ideas onto Tumblr and DeviantArt.
This satellite community of those too stupid even for the SCP wiki has been allowed to fester into an uncontrolled infestation of pure cringe. The main source of Fail is of course the rule-██ material, which manifests as some of the most awkward gay erotica ever put into writing, as well as inexplicable depictions of Lovecraftian monstrosities performing fellatio.
To add to the already dismal state of the fandom, SCP has inspired a plethora of half-baked video games and mods played almost exclusively by underage Slavs. The most famous of these is SCP Containment Breach, a game so boring and terrible it is despised even by most SCP wiki users.
Notable Articles
The following is a small sample of articles, some of which lifted from the wiki's so-called "Heritage Collection", which is supposed to list the best articles that SCP authors should read for inspiration.
Note how this list contains only three good stories, all of which originated on ████ and the rest is uninspired shit with moronic self insert Mary Sues. It's telling that the few good concepts on the website have been copied from /x/, while everything written by the site's army of troglodytes languishes in obscurity.
- SCP-049 Plague Doctor: Spooky scary medieval plague doctor that kills people. Despite being boring and generic, it is one of the top rated articles on the website, mostly thanks to a fuckton of sound files and shitty 3DCG pictures some animation dropout made in an afternoon.
- SCP-055 [unknown]: Something no one can remember, both in universe and ███ █████ ████, probably because, just like every other high ranking article on the site, it's a forgettable gimmick.
- SCP-076 Able: An animu-like ████ ███ with a big sword. Pure teenage power fantasy.
- SCP-087 The Stairwell: An underground dark stairwell with something inside that wants to eat you or something. One of the few good articles, probably because it was lifted from 4chan.
- SCP-093 Red Sea Object: A short, boring story about a rock that rolls over and rests on mirrors. It was later supplemented with an additional 6 or so articles that branch out into an expanded plot that drags on for far too long.
- SCP-108 Extradimensional Nasal Cavity: A WW2-era bunker stuck inside a woman's nose. No, seriously.
- SCP-173 The Sculpture: The original 4chan post that spiraled out of control and became this turd of a website. Inspired an entire series of games and probably the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who. The rest of the site leeches off of this thing's popularity to this day, despite never writing anything anywhere near as good.
- SCP-231 Special Personnel Requirements: The infamous loli rape story, written by 4chan. Has since been covered with so much ██████████ it is now unreadable if you don't already have prior knowledge of what it's about. In the tutorial section of the site, multiple hacks who can never hope to write anything as good as the untainted original now pretend this was intentionally done to make the story scarier. In reality, the censoring is there to shield weepy cunts from things they don't like.
- SCP-239 The Witch Child: A reality bending ████ who is unstoppable. Obvious rip-off of the most famous episode of The Twilight Zone without any of the things that made it good.
- SCP-294 The Coffee Machine: A coffee vending machine that dispenses anything you request of it. About as inane as it sounds.
- SCP-343 "God": It's about a friendly guy who lives in the SCP facilities because he feels like it and may or may not (but obviously is because this site has no consistent canon) be God. Not scary, not clever, not original.
- SCP-426 I am a Toaster: A toaster that can only be referred to in the first person. A classic example of an article that only exists as an ███████ gimmick.
- SCP-500 Panacea: Pills that cure everything. This article isn't scary and has no point.
- SCP-682 Hard-to-Destroy Reptile: A stupidly immortal lizard that talks like an ███████ villain and wants to kill all humans. Poses no threat because it can only kill people one at a time and is easily contained despite the authors' insistence to the contrary. Part of the never ending circlejerk, as every bad writer tries to incorporate the thing to prove how much scarier their own retarded Dragon Ball Z monster is by comparison. It's telling that the wiki's own parody is better than the original article.
- SCP-701 The Hanged King's Tragedy: Thank god they strictly forbid plagiarism in the rules, otherwise some SCPs might just be blatant ripoffs of other, infinitely more popular things. Like the King in Yellow, for example.
- SCP-882 A Machine: Another story that makes no sense about something that poses no threat and has been elevated to legend status through a decade of upvotes from people who have no standards.
- SCP-914 The Clockworks: It takes things and makes them better. Except for the average SCP author's writing skill, because you can't polish a turd.
- SCP-953 Polymorphic Humanoid: Weebshit foxgirl waifu, written by some virgin who will die alone. She has an addiction to human livers. Fortunately she killed 27 furries and ate their livers.
- SCP-963 Immortality: Mary Sue author-avatar in another not-scary story. Only got upvoted because it features a photo that the author took of his autistic, home-made replica of the site's logo. Pathetic.
- SCP-1000 Bigfoot: Take bigfoot and give it gay sci-fi backstory from before human history.
- SCP-1171 Humans Go Home: Something about an alien that writes how much he hates
niggershumans on window condensation. Absolutely pointless, and an early example of the Tumblr approach to storytelling. - SCP-1471 MalO ver1.0.0: A phone app that makes a spooky monster follow you around. Reportedly has loads of furry porn made of it.
- SCP-1609 The Remains of a Chair: A teleporting chair that people attempted to destroy, and is now an aggressive heap of woodchips that teleports into people's lungs. This article is always pointed to as an answer to the obvious question of why doesn't the SCP Foundation just destroy dangerous shit? The answer is never satisfactory because in 99% of cases the object in question can obviously be destroyed with no detrimental effect.
- SCP-1981 "RONALD REAGAN CUT UP WHILE TALKING": Perhaps the only article written by an SCP wiki native that isn't complete ████.
- SCP-3008 A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA: You know it how IKEA is kinda annoying to traverse? Someone decided that would make a great horror concept.
- SCP-5000 Why.jpg?: The grand-daddy of overwritten, meta-obsessed, circlejerky SCP articles. Despite being incredibly boring and pointless, it has become one of the top-rated SCPs of all time. In many ways it epitomizes everything wrong with the site.
Groups of Interest
There are other groups in the same universe as the Foundation. Or rather, shitty excuses for groups. Most of them are boring as fuck, and nobody cares about them because of that.
- The Global Occult Coalition: Aka the DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY guys. Also the name of a spinoff site.
- Chaos Insurgency: Cartoony villains with no originality whatsoever.
- Church of Broken God: Scientology WITH GEARS.
- Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.: Jews who buy weird shit.
- The Serpent's Hand: Basically ████, only more SJW.
- Are We Cool Yet?: Paranormal version of Improv Everywhere.
- Sarkic Cult: Yet another Cthulhu cult ripoff;
still one of the best groups of interestHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.
OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SCP FANFICTION BASED ON YOU FAGS ROLE PLAYING ON THE IRC!!! WHY IS THIS SHIT ON THE SITE?! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HORROR STORY WIKI!!!
See Also
|
SCP Foundation is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article October 18 & October 19, 2022 | ||
| Preceded by Garfield |
SCP Foundation | Succeeded by Satanist |