Dark angel
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If you are feeling blue, you may escape for a pleasant vacation under Dark Angel's wing :D :D :D:D :D :D :D: D |
Dark_angel is a 90-something, pseudo-upper-class, alcoholic, book-keeper and Mother Theresa figure of the anareksiks, who is a member of almost every pro-ana AND eating disorder recovery board existing on the internets. She tries to recruit minions or "her children", as she calls, them in an attempt to create the biggest possible audience to witness her guaranteed Dramaz and consequent lulz. She is an outside-reformed yet closet-pro-ana, although she claims to be recovered. She takes her children very seriously; so seriously, in fact, that she orphans them after a couple of months, leaving them devastated at their loss of their egoistic mother hen. Many angry blog entries will ensue.
Everyone must also remember that she is a book keeper and this makes her so much smarter than the general internets population. Obviously, through these skills she is an expert on every topic and is ALWAYS right... because everyone can be organized and categorized like a book, therefore, you must have borderline personality disorder.
Much hilarity and lulz are produced by the Dark_angel, especially in her times of MSN Conversation. These usually consist of the Dark_angel using around 50 different adjectives/synonyms to name one object or adjective, an example of which is shown below in MSN Dramaz.
Also known as Grandmarexia by people she likes to keep stashed "under her wing" (a common phrased ALSO used by her; it means she has attemped to pwn you) or "DarkAngelMommy", which she coined herself.
The internet social services will soon be interrogating her for negligence of her children when she stops outsmarting them with her book-keeping skilz.
Anareksia Forum Dramaz
While grandmarexia is allegedly book-smart, there is no question that she lacks any integrity (or dignity, for that matter), which is demonstrated by the following:
- She and her trans-dyke partner-in-crime known as "Red_Hot_Anorexic" were such good mommies that they bullied one of Darkangel's children into attempting suicide, which they felt was quite hilarious. This led to a ten hour mutual masturbation session between them. The OH SO CARING Angel Mommy was confronted about this, causing her to back-peddle so fast that she caused a massive sonic boom, suddenly being against "this kind of behavior", while continuing to do it when those who questioned her morals weren't around. And then, she was all too happy to put the blame onto the person who she was supposed to be defending in the first place, Red_Hot (her token retard).
- She recently told a young woman in her 20's, who suffers from chronic anorexia nervosa to go and "enjoy your anorexia while I enjoy my HEALTH!" for no reason other than: The girl wrote a completely unrelated article about the phenomenon of Wannarexia and why people lie about weight/eating disorders. She then pointed this article at herself and claimed the author was "writing about her friend, Red_Hot, and Grandmarexia herself". Of course, everything is always about Dark_Angel because she is, in fact, the centre of the universe.
- She was a member and then an admin at
ProAna.USBALEETED!, until causing Pro-Ana-War-I, and storming out in the worlds largest 13-year-old appropriate huff; she then moved on toED Refuge / ED Safe HouseBALEETED! contributing to Pro-Ana-War-II and doing the same. At this same moment in time she admined on another ana site entitledAna-Other-MeBALEETED!. Same story, after emotionally draining and banning half of their members (many of whom never visited anyway), she stormed out after Pro-Ana-War-III. The most recent war was Pro-Ana-War-IV on yet another ana forum namedED Friends UniteBALEETED! (Also run by Red_Hot_Anorexic, and the same whiners at ED Refuge/ED Safe House and Ana-Other-Me), started by a rather vacant fake ana lacking a brain, as usual getting to admin status and posting a million stickied threads before leaving in a borderline-induced tantrum, calling everyone on earth "a bunch of backstabbers", while continuing to back stab everyone in the surrounding vicinity.
- She attacks anyone who happens to have an OPINION or feels a way that she "doesn't like". Their opinion is then termed as "abuse" which she emails to friends of the perceived abuser, telling them all her anorexic ex-friends are "bullies", and making numerous posts everywhere about the definition of an Internet Bully - which, ironically, defines herself. She will then call in the internet police and proceed to totally pwn your ass. In addition, she will point her MSN screen name at the battered individual, titled it "YOU ARE SO BORDERLINE", when the person either already knows they are borderline or exhibits none of the symptoms of the disorder. The irony is that she self-diagnosed herself with borderline personality disorder last Thursday.
- Attempted to blank this article several times and then threatened law suits when her intrawebz powers failed her.
MSN Dramaz
When in a conversation with someone, the Dark_Angel won't listen. She will just talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. It doesn't matter if they're pouring their heart out to her -- she will continuously interrupt them to babble about whatever crazy shit her crazy brain has dreamed up in crazyville. She doesn't give two shits about anyone other than Dark_Angel, despite elevating herself to saint status. It's all about DARK_ANGEL! Someone is having a problem? "Wah, I'm so stressed out about her problem, everyone pity me!" Someone is mad about something that doesn't even involve her? "Wah, they're mad at me!" She always manages to involve herself. If she pisses off someone else, it's either "ohhhh, I am so forlorn with woe and remorse over my borderline disorder making me do that" or "ohhhh, I can't believe they have the nerve to be angry about something I did, I'm the only one who is allowed to have feelings". Basically, if you do something assholeish, you deserve to die. If she does something wrong... wait, no, Dark Angel never does anything wrong.
An example of her over-use of synonyms:
DarkAngel says: Owwwhhh i'm the devil! DarkAngel says: Satan! DarkAngel says: Lucifer! DarkAngel says: See my horns! DarkAngel says: Beelzebub! Other Person says: can i please.. DarkAngel says: King of Darkness! DarkAngel says: Im the Antichrist! DarkAngel says: See my trident! DarkAngel says: And my horns! DarkAngel says: Evil devil i am! Other Person says: get a word DarkAngel says: Devil i tell you! DarkAngel says: I'm the devil! DarkAngel says: the Dark Lord ! DarkAngel says: Angel of the bottomless pit! Other Person says: in DarkAngel says: Angel of deepness! DarkAngel says: Abaddon!! DarkAngel says: Belial, Ebru, Labadon!!!! DarkAngel says: I'm the Prince of Demons Other Person says: edgeways? DarkAngel says: Prince of Devils ! DarkAngel says: the Foul Fiend!! DarkAngel says: the Cloven Hoof! DarkAngel says: Monarch of Hell! DarkAngel says: Prince of Pain...!!!!! Other Person says: i get the fuckin' picture, i know what the devil is.
The Interaction of the Anorexic Children with the Dark_Angel
Along with the usual 20 synonyms for each word the Dark_Angel must also add to the drama by starting every sentence with some sort of pet name for her children... this is her form of petting. The Dark_Angel likes to pet her "children". She is THE Dark_Angel and they are HER children. You are her DARLING, BABES, SWEETIE, SWEETHEART, CHILD. But you will be orphaned in the next month so don't get too attached.
The Dark_Angel also evidently spends a lot of her time studying reliable sources such as "Heat", "Vogue" and "Hello" in order to discover the causes of anorexia. She proposes a "thinspiration tax" for 'all those awful model thin front pages that trigger us'
Says the "recovered" mother hen in her own words: "Geezzz thank god I never had children, I'd hate for them to grow up surrounded by such crap! I mean WTF!" Obviously referring to her very own bowel excretions, verbal excrement and multiple conflicting personalities, forgetting that God gave her a dysfunctional womb for a REASON.
The thing is, Dark_Angel is really just a nice, caring mother hen, with a hate for the media and those “disgusting” models for influencing her poor little children into an unhealthy obsession. This is why, as the thoughtful and caring individual Dark_Angel_MOMMY has regressed to her 60’s roots and enrolls such individuals in her specially designed “compensatory program” for the disadvantaged children of today. Through this program she aims to distract the children from their media induced anorexia and replace it with what really matters… a lesson in the internetz dramaz… because without mommy’s help and guidance these poor children would have come to be such a tragic waste of life. Once again Dark_Angel saves the day.
Mommy Dark is the modern day Mother Theresa figure of the interwebz, sacrificing herself for her poor disadvantaged, misled children of the western world.
Dark_Angel, does however exhibit some forms of brain activity, copied and pasted from internet articles from all over the interwebz. As quoted from her site, it seems she is aware that “The most common element surrounding ALL eating disorders is the inherent presence of a low self esteem” and so she now has the ammo to exploit her army of anorexic children to maximum capacity by keeping them safe; and there is plenty of room under her wings.
Mommy hates drama. Especially internet drama. She has become so “sick and tired of all the bitching, backstabbing and snide remarks”, she FEELS your words, and she FEELS the pain, in that oh so exploratory way, which means “I know where to throw a couple of my punches now”.
Psychopathology of the Dark_Angel
The Dark_Angel is so self-centred that she concocted a conspiracy in her head, where everyone is secretly in a club that runs around on the intranetz, trying to sabotage her. Her extreme narcissism causes her to think that she is so important that people would go out of their way to try to 'ruin' her.
The Dark_Angel has a tendency blame her actions on a personality disorder that she diagnosed herself with last spring. She will point-blank refuse to accept any personal responsibility, even when offering a phony apology. Borderline personality disorder does not mean that you are incapable of controlling your actions, especially when you don't actually have it, and are really just an uppity, old cunt.
The Dark_Angel is also well known for making sock_puppets, which she uses to stalk the sites she was originally banned from, and attempts to justify this by calling herself a "guardian angel" (a job she evidently sucks at, since the woman who she is most concerned with guarding is currently dying, losing her colon, and is no longer able to walk) when in fact a more appropriate term would be "effing toxic".
The following words describe her accurately: Attention-whore, selfish, manipulative, egotistical, childish, immature, narcissistic, two-faced, insincere, hypocritical, irritating, insensitive, insane, self-absorbed, histrionic, arrogant, greedy, backstabber, melodramatic, pedophile.
PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING: ANYONE WHO HAS ANAZ ON THEIR FORUM, BEWARE OF THE DARK_ANGEL!!!!
Fact Sheet
- Is a LIBRARIAN, not a BOOK KEEPER!
- Is totally the mommy of the internet.
- Her wings are a cozy, warm place.
- Might be a closet furry.
- Is probably a scientologist.
- Will apparently be suing the people who created this page for LIBEL and DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER.
- Has tried to vandalize this article several times, lulz.