OtakuWorks
OtakuWorks
File:Baby hitler.jpg An Animu forum that, while being arguably the biggest shithole on the internet, goes unnoticed for the most part. Consisting of Narutards and Furfag there is a general lack of any coherent or informative conversation, leaving even the simplest discussion in shambles.
The Badmins are all conceited, self-important closet-fags, and are the only ones posting, which is always just asking for donations as they are all far too boring, poor, and pathetic for anyone to even consider giving money to such a shity site. Most of the threads barely last one week before the village idiot, Shunrai, kills them in a poor attempt at lulz.
Darksage & Hellspire
The only successful threads are those made by Darksage (avid Legend of Zelda hater), a younger version of Adolf Hitler who wields the ban-hammer as well as gunz to shoot the insubordinate with. He shows true skill in disguising spam as intelligent opinion, but fails when it comes to actually conversing in real life. His having no life thus allowing him to amass hundreds of spamage posts. He encourages flameing on people who try to use proper grammar, on those that dare make a point, and deleting messages he disagrees with, especially anything resembling truth.
Hellspire is the perpetual boy (& owner)? that merely poses as a competent coder (but full-time conceited prick). Hellspire has listed down one of his skills as the ability to speak fluent japanese. Apparently by an astonishing performance announcing his feigned skills, it has become a fact that more than half of the world knows japanese by understanding the word Co.-Knee-Chili-Wah. He also lacks social skills and generically an unhygienic person therefore he requires RIGHTGUARD, however has yet to use any in the last 5 years. Anything he makes for the site breaks immediately, causing the already slow servers to come to a complete stop, which he doesn't even care about.
These two lovers continue to have a hate/love relationship which usually results in more downtime for the site more often than not.
Other Staff
The Badmin's job has forever been useless as they are, as previously mentioned, the only active members. Topics of breasts, vaginas and women in general is banned completely from the forums as women are icky. Gay men would rather compare dick sizes, so expect to see widespread phallic conversation, and talk of proper asshole lube. So you will find these gaiz removing anything worthwhile within seconds of it's creation. There's Byakugon..and Shunrai, and Editor, and some guy that does half ass graphics, and another guy that does something that no one really knows what-the-fuck it is, and then several others that were bribed with a lie just to get them to be active members. As of late several staff have left, including the mega-ultra trolls Sithreis and Ereos.
- Ereos: Typical Azn that loves Mechs and sex with doughnuts. Aside from his happy-go-lucky demeanor, he has been known to say "OREWA GUNDAM" which in standard weabooish means "I r fuking fag , ploz kill me". Don't mistake the fact that he's Asian with him being an MUSG, as he is dirt fucking stoopid and can't count past 'beef'. This of course makes him the strongest spammer that the site has ever known.
- Sithreis: Possibly the biggest pedophile on the internet, is the current spammer. With rampant admissions of homosexuality, bestiality, necrophilia, and an assortment of BDSM fetishes, he is known to form every conversation around himself, without caring for any topic other than his (and everyone else's) cock. An avid goatse imitator, he has continuously attempted to recreate goatse and take it one step further by inserting his balls up his ass and shooting them out. Beware this sick fuck.
- Byakugan: Some guy that people just know. No one really knows who he is, or what he does. There are rumors that he is actually Phil Collins, with various citations that it is in fact true. Among a loser group of the staff, his words are seldom ever heard, but when speaking he captures an enormous atmosphere about him, known to tear your ears off and feed them to the noobs in the wasteland.
- Sharingan: Graphics provider to the site. Armed with the artistic talent of a stick, he creates the most absurd excuses for actual art. Also the most violent member of the site, he will rage to get what he wants, leaving more other members sad and butthurt. Aside from his inability to post coherently, he is without a doubt gay.
- Shunrai: Butthurt closet-fag. H3 da gai da7 b3 d3r3 0ff3n n d0in da7 3mp0rdan7 stuph. H3 da man...h3 da m3n'z man hu li3k d0in s7uph dat kn3adz d0in. Wa7ch 0ut f0 dis gai, kaaz h3 iz p0wurphull n s7r0ng.
- Semie-kun: Generally the timid staff member, that attempts to give support for incentive in the form of "HV A NIEC DAY" or "GR8 J0B GAIZ" for lazy fuckers. However not many people understand just how repressed his anger really is. His seemingly calm demeanor is only cover for a gun-happy megalomaniac. With a repressed alter-ego, he has been involved in countless murders. Everyone only acts like he's such a good guy because they don't want to die.
Content
The site itself is a worthless combination of broken links and dead torrentz. There isn't much, and if you find something you liek expect 20 hours to download it 'cause the servers die lotz. There is strictly moe Animu and Animu and anything that can be conceived as intelligent is ignored by staff and members alike. The forums are solely used by the staff, and otherwise a graveyard of lost hopes and promises. Even a cute kitten would die amidst the sorrow and despair you will find in the sausage fest that is Otakuworks. Among the least credulous is the current layout, which resembles a blue-bird drowned in white-out. Completely mis-proportioned and absolutely fatal to the eyes. If the forgettable threads don't burn out your eyes, the layout will. Last but not least is the broken chatbox, which takes an estimated 3 mins per chat to post and is obviously garbage. It's as if you're forced to post, whether by lack of working chatbox, or demand from the staff there. A blank domain is more reliable than this site
Typical Staff Consideration/Conversation
- 3:17 PM <Darksage> You contribute well to the boring topics by not creating non-boring ones.
2:15 PM <GUEST> boring topics
1:15 PM <Darksage> You contribute well to the silence.
12:03 PM <GUEST> 1 look at the forums... epicly quiet
(They don't give a shit if you post or not)
—Darksage | ||
(Eventually to him means never.)
—Darksage | ||
(Even in 3.0 and the third layout, it's still incomplete)
—Sharingan | ||
(admissions of homosexuality)
—Sharingan | ||
(They don't give a shit if you come to the site.)
—Shunrai | ||
(one of his many attempts at butt-sex with another member of the site)
—Hellspire | ||
(he can't be bothered with your shit)
—Hellspire | ||
(It broke immediately thereafter and members couldn't log in for weeks)
GIMME MONIEZ
- They want your money for anal sex
- They want your money for a Nintendo DS
- They want your money for new tires on their mom's car
- They want your money for a Swedish ordered bride, which is actually a man
- They want your money for fodder in their fireplace
- They want your money for warmth, as it's very cold but a heater just isn't necessary
- They want your money for to send everyone they hate to the north pole to be eaten by reindeer
- They want your money for to send everyone they like to Disney land
- They want your money for shits and giggles
- They want your money for an Xbox 360
- They want your money for repairs on the Xbox 360
- They want your money for a coloring book for Shunrai while he is at kindergarten
- They want your money for repairs on the Xbox 360 for a second time
- They want your money for a Sony PS3 because the 360 died again
- They want your money for nothing
- They want your money for cocksocks
- They want your money for their gay uncle to get a sex change
- They want your money for a shopping spree at Abercrombie
- They want your money for cheap beer
- They want your money for adequate funds to buy their mother a present
- They want your money for adequate funds to buy their mother an aborshun after she put out from getting a present
- They want your money for gfx classes for Sharingan
- They want your money for frivolous bullshit
- They want your money for lynching supplies (they hate black people)
- They want your money for a substantial gambling debt
- They want your money for more gambling while paying on previously mentioned debt
- They want your money for Shunrai a brain constructed of straw, which is actually more than he has now
- They want your money for Profit
- They want your money for anything else that has absolutely nothing to do with their outrageous excuse of a website