Environmentalism

Artist's render of the Environmentalist's Utopia. Notice the Human/Panda ratio and absence of minorities

Tree sexing is popular with environmentalists

Better known as the 21st Century's answer to Socialist, Environmentalism consists of a disease deliberately inflicted on retards by The Royal Family for the purpose of depopulating the poor parts of the Commonwealth in order to create Hunting Game Reserves to palliate the Aristocracy's boredom . While the former empashized on adoring the false idol of The State, Environmentalism consists of adoring the false idol of Pagan Goddess Mother Nature or GAIA. Despite all presumable out-comings, Environmentalism is affecting Heterosexuals as well.

Those who suffer from Environmentalism are called "environmentalists". The most notable symptoms of environmentalism are unwarranted Self-Importance, self-righteousness, a false sense of morality, disregard for human life, lack of reasoning ability, invisible eyebrows, and supporting idiotic politics, or at least saying they do.

Environmentalists are actually incapable of contributing anything to any cause they claim to support. That's why they instead try to prevent others from contributing to society. For example, they like to prevent cures for diseases from being invented by protesting animal testing. Considering Environmentalism is a mind-altering disease (much like Zombism), it makes sense that those infected with it will try to propagate the infection and prevent the development of a cure, much like how AIDS attacks the immune system.

Resources

Environmentalists, socialists and other torpedinous scum of the earth wants to fool you. They would have you believe that the world's natural resources, or any other resource for that matter, is finite. That is not true. They are conditional. It is not Injuns, Jews, Sand niggers, Wimmins, Spicks, Nigger, China, Pakis which makes the world better. It is the white man. Where others are complacent, his scream is primordial. When all seems lost, he finds his way. When doubt strikes him, he stays his hand. When others mock him, he does not care. When his wife wants him, he allures her with false promises. When his children call him, he hangs up the phone. And when all is said and done, he does not care if all he is given by the world is a thorned crown and a crucifixion ; for his inward smile cannot be undone.

Morbidity and Mortality

Epidemiological studies have concluded that this infectious disease is prone to occur next to large bodies of water, being endemic in both coasts but also in places like Ann Arbor, proving that it is not only salt water that enables it.

The only vaccine available is a large dose of Jesus' holymilk shot directly into the esophagus, which accounts for numbers of Conservatives that appear to be immune to the affliction. There is no cure for those already infected and should therefore be quarantined like they should have done with AIDS.

Symptoms include but are not limited to:

Vegetarianism
Composting
Sudden expertise in Climatology
Living in Oregon Trail by choice
Being enrolled as a Liberalism
A sudden urge to reduce the quality of life for those around you.
A Renewed appreciation towards your local community
The belief that cow farts are going to lead to the end of the world

The Environmentalist inflicts on himself and others numerous rituals and prohibitions that complicate life in iatrogenic manners. His or her attitude and impact towards every single material aspect of life can be better exemplified by 'Proper Bidet Etiquette'. Whereas a normal person would do the following:

Sit on the toilet, if a woman make sure it is a centipede-free toilet.
Shit
Check the consistency, color and general appeal of your deuce - if appropriate, smile in satisfaction
Move to the adjacent bidet
Turn on the anal fountain at a comfortable yet not too enticing temperature and sing happy b-day twice.
Take at least 24 squares of Toilet Paper and ply them until you form a giant disposable paper towel with volume big enough to isolate your hand (left if Islam, tongue if 卐) from your anus
PROFIT!!! dry and clean

An environmentalist would instead use a reusable fiber towel without shedding a tear for either the deprived black person that toil in the cotton fields nor for the topsoil erosion caused by healthy tree plantations converted into monoculture cotton fields to feed the demand for reusable towels.