ZX Spectrum

LOL!!!

The ZX Spectrum

The ZX Spectrum was, is and will always be the most powerful computer evar. What made it so good was its total immunity to AIDS, due to the clever rubber keys on the 48K model acting as an anti-virus condom. The interweb was for a time completely AIDS free, so free in fact that blood could be purchased on eBay from Africa without giving it a second thought.

Made in England, it soon became one of the UK's largest exports, beaten by only two commercial properties - Pot Noodle and dogging. The Spectrum's only serious competion came from Commodore, however they brought about their own downfall after releasing the system exclusives Jet Set Allah and Suicide Bomb Jack II - as a result their offices and factories were fire-bombed by irate Arabs, giving Sinclair the freedom to run the UK/European drug cartel without problems from rival companies. At least until they got all cocky and fucked everything up.

If the Spectrum was so hardcore, one may wonder why the heavy boys in the IT industry struggle today. This is down to the fact that Bill Gates failed to steal anything from the Spectrum and instead used his own half-cooked programming to clone it and failed. This was an issue with all versions of Windows, so in his most recent OS Bill "borrowed" design ideas from Apple hoping to gloss over the gaping holes in his code. Unfortunately, as Apple has also found to their cost, this tactic only works on shallow assholes with no understanding of how computers work.

ALL programmers know that BASIC is 1337.

Technical Specifications

Grey-market cassette-modem with preloaded "paid site" passwords.

System	Specification
CPU	Zilog Z80A running at 2.9 MHz*
Memory	19.333739068902037589kb
Sound	Humagination 1.0**
Display Resolution	255 × 191 x 14.5
Floppy	Dual External 5 15/16"
Internet (Max Speed)	63bps***