Prison
Nigger University (also known as the Ræp House, the Free Residences, the Zoo, Da Gulag or simply Prison) is an institution created by The Man to contain the epidemic of disease-ridden wild animals from Africa breeding everywhere and destroying Human civilization, and was also used as an experiment to study if normal straight men can be converted into homosexuals through non-consensual mating practices with said wild animals. It's where you will likely be sent following the conviction of a crime IRL, thus forever giving you higher risk of AIDS. Unlike internet jail, prison is an IRL friendster, and meeting people mostly involves unprotected anal penetration.
On occasion, OTI may result in a prison sentence. These offenses include, but are not limited to: slander; kiddy porn (20 years); hacking (10 years); downloading music (5 years); writing emo poetry; being a furry; blanking ED pages; trolling srsly ; and inventing new ways to fly planes into buildings (o wait).
Prison has a way of making a fag out of a straight man and is currently making a lesbian out of Jasmine Richardson.
Fun Times, Exciting People
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In prison you can expect the following services:
- Ræp
- Ræp
- Mouth rape
- Being almost raped, then later raped
- A special visitor who comes and rapes you
- Ræp at 7pm every Thursday
- Rape by the guards
- Rape by the warden
- Rape by over 9000 niggers
- Gangbangs
- Bubba
- Goatse
- AIDS
- Free HBO
- ????
- PROFIT!
Niggers in Prison
The very first species of animal you will be encountering in Prison is of course, the Nigger. Fun Prison Nigger Facts:
- It is a fact that over 90% of all niggers are currently in prison, are eventually going to prison, or in likelihood of going to prison. (the other 10% is being shot).
- Niggers, though 13% of the overall American population, makes the vast majority of the Prison population, with the minimum of at least 40%-50%.
- The "School-to-Prison Pipeline" concept states that 1 in 3 niggers don't finish college, but go from elementary school straight to jail.
- Teenage niggers and niglets committing felonies are more likely to be tried as adults, found guilty and have earlier experience in life in the rape house, than be sent to a juvenile facility or receive rehabilitation treatment like white kids do.
- Niggers will get longer sentences than whites who have committed the same crime. A white person possessing 500 grams of crack will do 5 years or be paroled early, but a nigger in possession of the same WILL get a life sentence.
Those who have chosen to live the black lifestyle often find themselves behind bars for various reasons. Usually, they find themselves on the wrong end of the law just for being themselves, acting in the animal instincts that they are. Niggers, ever since they were discovered by Human Civilization have been going to various types of Prisons for as long as they can remember, from Roman prisons, to Arab prisons, to European prisons and of course, American prisons for slavery.
Being a prisoner is a central part of the Black identity and therefore Black "culture" hence evolved in a prison setting. Incarceration is regarded by Negroid tribal culture as a badge of honour and an initiation ritual to prove manliness. Major countrywide Negro gangs such as the Crips and Bloods require going to jail and serving hard time in order to be promoted into a true member or "brotha". Rap music actively encourages young niglets to prove their manliness by doing crime and getting beaten up by the police, because to them, if you ain't tough enough to survive in the clink then you ain't a real nigga but a pussy-ass white bitch who deserves to be raped. Also, the term "punk" and the Hip-Hop dressing style where one loosens his own pants to show his underwear, were derived from prison workers advertising their butts in exchange for money.
Liberalism think that there are too many colored people in prison and that racial profiling is to blame. They believe that the so-called "Prison-Industrial Complex" is a modern day form of slavery for corporations to make money while not paying minimum wage and subjecting them to brutal conditions. However this is false, for in fact it is proven that the standard of living for niggers is much higher in a penitentiary than out on the streets where they are more likely to starve to death (see Africa) or be killed to extinction by predators such as the police. It works the same way as how zoos, contrary to what animal rights activists say, are important in protecting endangered species such as the nigger's closest relative, the gorillas, from extinction. The zoo provides free food, shelter, sanitation, health services, education (in all forms of crime), employment and entertainment at the expense of the taxes paid and laboured for by us working humans, and for an animal, what more is there to want? Basically the zoo, for an animal that lacks IQ to grasp philosophical bullshit such as free will, is heaven or a Utopia. It works in a similar way for our simian friends: prison, far from the liberal conception of it as Hell, is in fact another integral part of social welfare and protection given to the Black community by the natural and limitless generosity of humanity as it is the closest thing a nigger has to going to school and having a job just like a human being. This is why prison is also known as Nigger University.
Prison niggers are serious fucking business if you also happen to be in prison. They will find you and they WILL rape you. And this is what most all niggers do once caught.
Pedophiles in Prison
Even when in jail there is a universal code of honour that even the most savage of humanity will follow. Murder, theft or being a nigger are considered badges of honour that can earn you a place of privilege and power within a gang. However, there is a universal moral code amongst all inmates: Pedophiles, child pornographers, and anybody who harms children are at the absolute bottom of the food chain. Even Evil has standards, for all criminals, even niggers, drug dealers and sociopaths, violently despise pedophiles. The hypothesis for this behaviour is that most inmates are themselves parents who have children. Others, however, posit that inmates hate pedophiles because while murder and theft can be justified and therefore considered "honorable", being a sick fuck who takes pleasure in harming innocent children can never be excused.
Once entering Prison, the pedophile will immediately be raped in every orifice in his body, in his ass, in his mouth, up to even his eye sockets. He will endure a life of rape and torture from the entire prison population until he dies or commits suicide. And if he dies from the hands of another inmate, it will surely be a torturous one: he will be castrated, and his entrails and intestines scattered all over as he is disemboweled alive. The murderer can take satisfaction in that his fate is the death row; the pedophile can only cower in fear in that his fate is eternal rape. It's the ultimate "Eye for an Eye" justice.
For this reason, pedophiles like Josef Fritzl and Larry Nassar are, once convicted, automatically put in protective custody, solitary confinement for the rest of their life, with no hope of contact with humanity ever again. Inmates may fight against each other, but they have one common goal, to punish pedophiles with the very weapon they have used to terrorise children.
Women in Prison
Wimmins go to prison for a wide variety of crimes, including employment, dealing drugs, not staying in the kitchen, embezzlement, being an accomplice to lesbian bed death, refusing to make sandwiches, being a penis-punching feminazi, and cheating in the Presidential Election only to fail epically. There's slightly less rape in female prisons historically, although the raw feel of a gristly, unshaven hairy lip against your pussy is a sensation to be avoided, not sought after.
Lady Gaga's music video accurately depicts life in a female prison:
Women in prison often are often party to the dreaded cunt punt.
Jews in Prison
Ironically, the Jews, who since the Middle Ages and the Spanish Inquisition have been going to prison due to the fact that theft, fraud and scam artistry on a massive scale are ingrained in their very DNA, have become the ultimate world leaders in detention techniques, followed closely by the US Army. Recently they enrolled under an intensive training course offered for free by the German government to learn the use of modern rehabilitation technology, such as waterboarding and Zyklon B, and apply it on a massive scale for world domination; but when Germany was losing the war, the experiments had to be covered up within a web of fraud known as the Holocaust which didn't happen. Nowadays all these techniques experienced by the Jews have become a sort-of religious dogma for the CIA in their continuing research to find more efficient brainwashing techniques and sick fuckery to destroy the will of humans and make us submit to these aliens (see also Project MKULTRA).
The Jewish state of Isræl currently offers an award-winning service to Palestinians, where they can be detained in rehabilitation centres so that they can be processed into citizens worthy of entry into human civilization. You can expect much butthurt from liberals as well as local Muslims, but of course they can't do anything.
Join The Party
Ways to get in include:
- Surprise Sex
- Parenting
- Adoption
- Being Colored
- Supporting your beliefs
- School activities
- Doing your job
- Separate marriage systems
- Recreation and weekend health benefits
- Supporting the Jewish faith
And many, many moar.
How To Be The Most Popular Guy
1: Always show open mindedness when it comes to race. No one in prison wants to be that guy. If you're white, it's very important to seek out and visit the leaders of all ethnic groups the minute you step through the door. Your ethnic group can wait, in fact - FUCK THEM! Whitey has never helped anyone and this is even more true in prison.
2: Talk about your crime as much as possible, especially if you're a pedophile. Everyone likes a good sex story so you'll fit right in.
3: Steal. Fuck man, you're in prison. You're all criminals! Nothing says how bad ass you are more than stealing from someone. Hell, prison is like the real world. If they didn't want it stolt, then they would have watched it better.
4: Stare as much as you can at people. Look at them long and hard. It says you want to be friends.
5: The guards are your friends too. In fact, they may be your best friend while in there because helping them can reduce your time. Remember to keep your ears open so you can hook the guards up with the primo intel. Remember, the juicier the tidbit, the faster you get out of there.
6: Nothing makes friends like gambling. By gambling, you get to really know people through conversation and might even hear some info now and then. Don't worry if you ain't got no money or run out. They're your friends, they will loan it to you. If someone makes a big deal aabout the money you owe them, you can always turn them over to the guards because gambling isn't allowed in prison and the guards will be grateful to find out who is running the gambling dens.
7: Do all the drugs you can. They're like gambling. Follow number 7 when it comes to drugs.
See Also
- A frequent visitor of prison, as well as ED Admin, Yiri
- AusdudePro Youtuber that likes 'em young
- Bubba
- Crimes
- Chris Hansen
- Don't Taze Me Bro
- Jailhouse burrito
- Jailhouse Gay
- Meek Mill
- Party Van
- Cops
- Pruno
- Ræp
- Theft
- These Cuffs
External Links
| Prison is part of a series on serious business |
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| Featured article February 17 & 18, 2019 | ||
| Preceded by Korryn Gaines |
Prison | Succeeded by NOBODY SET ANYTHING, LAZY FAGGOTS |