Armenians: Difference between revisions
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Unibrow? Armenian. Waste a bullet. (Abraham Lincoln advice to Turkey) | Unibrow? Armenian. Waste a bullet. (Abraham Lincoln advice to Turkey) | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Revision as of 07:55, 31 December 2012
Although Armenians (from the Greek armenios, meaning "hairy and yak like") are technically Azn, you'd have better luck finding a nigger at a Klan rally than an Armo in Armenians after at least 100 years of pwnage by their Turkish neighbors. Armenians are mixture of Middle Eastern DNA and over 9,000 years of incest. In Armenia not only can you marry your first cousin, you can marry your half-sister. They are easily mistaken for Mexicans with huge noses and usually dress like blind transvestite hookers (women) or decked out in G-Unit sweaters and gold chains {men).
Smarter than your average Jew, the Armenians knew a lose/lose situation when they saw it, so they moved in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. Because they couldn't find a way to lease their four BMWs as well as an apartment in Bel-Air they all immediately moved to Glendale. The cloud of cheap cigarette smoke and Kabob fumes linger over most of Brand Blvd. to this day.
Life was good for the Armenians in the Dale of Glen and so they stayed, buying up everything in sight and generally stinking up the joint. It is not humanly possible for anyone who is not Armenian to get a decent paying job in Glendale, CA as most Armenians will hire within their own race. The best thing you could do if you find yourself in this situation is to buy every gold chain and Sean John shirt in sight, chain smoke and make out with members of the same sex in hopes that you might be confused with an Armenian and get hired.
Before long, Glendale was overrun with gun totin', G-Unit wearin', bling-bling sportin' Armo-Wigger driving Cadillac Escalades bumpin' shitty disco music with no bass through massive speakers around the sleepy hollow. The village elders acted swiftly and banished the nascent Armo gangsta menace to East Hollywood (aka the United Subculture Internment Camp), a place where black person of every race, creed and color go to chase the American Dream and every nationality gets it's own four blocks to call its own. Unfortunately, the only thing Armenian women are good for (besides standing in front of you in the grocery line talking loudly on her cellphone) is pumping out half-retarded wannabe gangster children and Glendale was soon overcome by the menace once again.
According to certain experts, Armenians are, in fact, worse than Jews. This is because Jews actually do things. They control the world's gold supply and economy, keep niggers in nigger Africa with their sponsoring of African diamond wars, and have finally stopped bitching so much about the Holocaust (not that it happened). Armenians have never contributed a fucking thing to the world they love to complain about. Oh, and Jews have the decency to bathe once a month.
Armenian Genocide Day
On April 25th 24th every year, American Armenians celebrate commemorate the genocide of their alleged race by the Turks at least 100 years ago during World War One. This is celebrated commemorated by donning tinfoil hats, flying the Armenian flag from their leased luxury sedans whilst regaling everyone within earshot to the Armenian national anthem played by an orchestra of carhorns being jammed for exactly 50 minutes. However, the Armenian Genocide is -in fact- a myth. Since nobody from the Ottoman Empire is still around to grill by the United Nations Genocide Commission to determine if killing a couple of hundred Armenians constitutes a lollercaust it obviously never happened. The Turkfags actually kill'd 1,500,000 Armenians during the genocide for the lulz.
Every year since they all escaped their fatherland the Armenian diaspora of America have unsuccessfully lobbied for successive US presidents to recognise the Armo pwnage as an official genocide rather than a massive Turkish gun cleaning accident and condemn Turkey. However, since Turkey is an important America's bitch in the W, successive US presidents have told Armos to eat a dick and called the alleged genocide everything from "sad" to a "tragedy".
The most recent Armo lollercaust denier in the White House is President Black Hitler, who promised on the campaign trail to the presidency to officially recognise the Armenian Genocide and sign some kind of Bawwwww bill into law attesting to this 'atrocity' as being something real. However, upon taking office he told Armos YHBT and to disregard that cos he sucks a lot of Turkish cock.
Self-Loathing
Ironically, the only thing Armenians have contributed to American culture as they flooded west after the collapse of their shithole country when the Soviet Union went belly-up is their love of Armenian genocide (and domestic violence). There's nothing Armenians and Armenian gangs such as Armenian Power (or AP) like better that killing each other. You'll be hard-pressed to find any cases of Armo-on-white, black or Latino violence in the news since they're too busy wiping each other out. To whit, Armenians can be seen as the self-cleaning ovens of ethnic cleansing.
Fun Facts about Armenians
- Armenians are probably the most disgusting (alleged) race on the planet. They are fat, smelly, loud and untrustworthy. And that's the good news.
- The Turks thought that Armenians were more worthless than the Jews; the ones they didn't genocide were exiled to the apartment next-door to me in Los Angeles.
- When Armenians move to America, they insist on forming their own city/state by moving into the same apartment complex; all 1,000,000 of them.
- Armos make Jews look like Whitey.
- Armos also make Jews look like Bill Gates when it comes to their legendary cheapness. Armenians will haggle any price and are responsible for At least 100 cases of fireplace ashes swapped out for cremains, stuffing mattresses with used clothes, you know, that sort of third-world "I gotcha!" frugality dupe.
- No two Armenian men can be near each other for longer than ten minutes without doing something relatively homosexual.
- the Nu-Metal Band System of a Down is of Armenian decent.
- There are some in the uk, sadly this user fell in love with one, i no longer have a heart or a right arm...the fat bitch ate it.
- Armenian youth make wiggers look like NORPs.
- The "Armenian Genocide" is in fact true. Even though 2 million Armenians didn't live in those times, the fact is that 2 million Armenians died as a result.
- Armenians have never killed anyone. Ever.
- In Armenian culture it is generally acceptable for a 40 year old man to be dating a 16-year old girl. That means that pretty much every Armenian man who doesn't love the cock is a pedo.
- Most Armenians do not move out of their parents house until they are 73. Then they move next door.
- Armenians
drivecrash BMWs and buy all their groceries with food stamps. - The ultimate goal for Armenians in life is to one day win the Eurovision song contest. This is to be done by diaspora voting.
- Armenian names are typically impossible to pronounce, and sound more like guttural throat-clearing methods than actual names.
- It is a known fact that for every year of an Armenian person's life their nose will grow an inch, and when they reach a certain age, it devours them completely.
- Armenians born and raised in America still manage to have thick accents are are completely unintelligible.
- Armenians only use iPhones so they can drop them and buy another.
- Armenian males only know three words: Dude, Bro, and BMW.
- It is impossible to find an Armenian woman who hasn't dyed her hair ridiculous color.
- Armenians are very aggressive and will attack anyone with absolutely no provocation at all.
- Glendale is the worst smelling city in the country.
- Pretending to be an Armenian is the best way to troll Turkey on the internets.
- Armenians have not been informed about the invention known as the trash can, so they use plastic bags.
- The first freak show bearded lady was Armenian.
- Armenian children start growing chest hair at age 9.
- Given their inherent hairiness, some say that Armenians are really just furries.
- You ever see that movie Sacha Baron Cohen? Now you know everything there is to know about Armenians and Armenians.
True Story
In 1987, the city of Glendale had a problem with too many pigeons downtown. The mayor offered a $100,000 reward to anyone who could remove the pigeons. A man came to town and told the mayor he could solve the problem. He then took out of his pocket a little wind-up pigeon and let him walk down Brand Blvd. in the heart of downtown Glendale. Before long, all the pigeons in town followed the wind-up pigeon into oncoming traffic. Splat, splat, splat, no more pigeons. The mayor said, "This is AMAZING! I'll triple your reward if you have a little wind-up Armenian!"
Quotes:
Very creepy race. (USA Today)
Why do we put up with these assholes? (MSNBC)
I have yet to meet a SINGLE "good" armenian (Kokor, Glendale)
Armenians are a race of gypsys, racists and confused monkeys, they are the biggest joke of the 20th century. (Fox News)
I hope Armenia will be invaded by Turkey soon (Elton John)
I never knew such a useless and hated race existed. (Joard, Ireland)
please take a shower (anonymous)
Scum of the Earth.... (University of Abnormal Studies)
i dont like them one bit! (Jack Nicholson)
They are the most despicable things I have ever met or seen. (Ghandi)
I have met many of them and have yet to say there is at least one of them with some kind of integrity. What a shame!! (Rachel Maddow)
Unibrow? Armenian. Waste a bullet. (Abraham Lincoln advice to Turkey)
See Also
- Armenians
- Kurds
- Jews
- Turkey
- Gypsies
- Fat Larry's Band
- Sadcucks
- Genocide
- Victim Complex
- A typical butthurt Armo editor on ED
- And another one
External Links
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Armenians is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |