South Dakota
—SD Indians needing alcohol money | ||
—Mount Rushmore Planners | ||
South Dakota: Its above North Dakota. If you are American, probably still don't know where it is because you didnt pay attention in geography class. NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. LOLJK. Although shitty enough as a combined whole, Dakota decided to become an_hero and cut itself in fucking half like an emo kid. Now both halves suck equal amounts of cock. If the two Dakotas fought a war, it would be The Cold War because its fucking freezing. Also both sides would lose and it wouldn't even be in the newspaper. Not even the local one that reports on fucking lost dogs. The only thing people care less about is this autistic website.
Not Faggot Parts
Despite no ONE!!111!!!11!!1 giving a fuck about this state, it does have its redeeming qualities. If you commit some hot felonies IRL such as hide and seek, pirating, or burning Jews it will take a while for the small dick of the law to arrive in all his glory. Since there is only one pig and no Party Van to enforce the federal restrictions on LULZ in South Dakota, it is the WORLDS BEST PLACE to store all of your TREASURES. The risk of your CP being stolen is also very low since thieves are banned from the state. They may try to break in using clever methods, but once they find out how cold it is compared to home and the general lack of AIDS they will pack up their shit and leave.
As long as you aren't one of those, South Dakota is a free-for-all playground. Its like when they used to lock your class in the gym without a teacher to "play basketball" for an hour in middle school. The only law you actually get in trouble for breaking is speeding, and the only reason for that is to steal all the out-of-state jewgolds since no one in SD has any. This is because the Indians always require moar money from the state!
Drug Shortage
Unfortunately, no niggers = no drugs. Although this might excite moralfags, the consequences are disastrous. Without any cell phone towers or internets, LOLSD, or economy life in SD sucks mad dick. The liquor stores even close at 10pm, leaving the poor residents with nothing to do but talk with their cows.
SD residents also tryhard to join great men as an_hero fairly frequently. They also enjoy leaving and never coming back like when some men have been known to do when they get a bitch preggers. Child supports breaks the fucking bank. Luckily, SD has no children or niggers or banks, only cows and endless fields in which to suck dick. The lack of drugs and 13-year-old boy does upset the Catholic priests in the state, but the Pope is rumored to send regular shipments.
Jews are also in short supply in the big SD. The lack of nearby gold to acquire, tall buildings to destroy, and arabs to shoot may have something to do with it.
South Dakota Reproductive Problems
Since the population and general IQ of the state are so low, you might assume that the fine people here have a few issues. These include:
- 75% of men cannot get their soldier to salute
- The women here are so special in their own way that the men are moar attractive
- The state's initials are literally Sucking Dick
- Abortions make no babies. Problem Obama?
- Dicks shrink in the cold
- Hourly wage is so low that SDs cannot afford LSD to make whales attractive
- The average dong in SD looks JUST LIKE this: ---»»»»>>>>)}]8|||)========D_______________*;:.,0;:.0;:.0;:.0_____
