Dangasm
Dangasm is without a doubt the biggest lolcow on avatar palace, which is a Chat Palace. (avatarpalace.net:9998)
Dangasm is British, and hails himself for his 'correct spelling' although he himself, when confused (which happens a lot), makes grammatical errors as well. He feels British people are teh own and better than Americunts. He feels he has more class than everyone else and when he truly rly gets pwnd and ass fucked he'll start saying he is God himself. (No rly)
It has come to the sheer point that whenever he logs on to Chat Palace he gets pwnd by everybody. Including the 13-year-old boy, 16-year-old girl, juggalos, emos, goths and faggots. It is remarkable how big a lolcow dangasm has become. Any person with a bit of logic, reason or self respect would have either uninstalled palace or taken on a new persona. Not dangasm though, in some serious lulzing chat logs with him some people even mention: "he did it all for the lulz" and in this case that's true.
Now reading these logs the reader must be cautioned in to two different things:
- This guy is for real (Confirm/deny)
- How in the world can a person feel that self important?
- Did he really get a fat dyke as a friend? If so, does he have hopes to fuck her? Is he that desperate?
Dangasm weapon facts:
- I don't care.
- I am here for the entertainment.
- -mutes-
The Dangasm Case File - UPDATE
2-2-2007, never forget is the day that Dangasm has decided to build a casefile against us. As we all well know ever since april 2003 it has been against the law to make fun of people over the internets and Dangasm has involved his buttbuddy £†©. © £ í I\I † z™ (Clint), who is a wizard on Chat Palace avatar palace, to ban us all using our IP's and possibly using the Internet Secret Police.
Before the recent events on 2-2-2007 we decided to form a extrasecretspecial alliance using a Dangasm alert system to keep us all up to date. As Dangasm himself says: We are all obsessed with him. It has also recently been discovered by General Zod and Pirate that Dangasm has a flipper and that his irl name quite possibly is Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin of BatMan. If BatMan should ever find out that he's on the palace, Dangasm is in a whole new world of trouble. Before we all walked in using the Dangasm alert system, user "the monkey in the zoo" said: "he was tellin ppl he was funna rape them earlier".... fun rape indeed....
On 13-2-2007 Dangasm attempted a pwn via freewebs, as we all know freewebs is a powerful mighty tool, where he posted the following about RIAA Copyright Guy:
"RIAA. Obsessive chatter disorder.
.
This guy has been stalking me on the internet for the last two years. Each time I log onto palace, he attempts to rally some kind of "gang" in palace in an attempt to "beat" me. Fact: Dangasm cannot be beaten, Dangasm has done everything you have done on the internet in the past.
RIAA was caught on many occasions pretending to be a female in chat. I have seen this about four or five times, on one occasion I have actually partaken in his sick attempt at trying to defame Dangasm. Which I admit, I shouldn't have played along with but I wanted to see what this sick guy was capable of. I worry that he has too much time on his hands, and he puts too much faith in the internet. One day he is going to wake up and think, what am I? What have I become? All I have is the internet. I am pretty sure that he is addicted to not only me, and obsessive towards me but he probably is towards his computer also.
This is why I will be constantly updating this webpage, and keeping you updated. This is my case study of RIAA. I will be using proper psychological evidence, and transcript logs to access this guys mental health. I feel it will be a good case study for my masters degree in psychology."
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
Extra special event: Dangasm's sidekick
Dangasm has acquired a dyke as a sidekick who calls herself ".l3sbatronix", making the avatar palace users wonder if he did that for the lulz. Also, dangasm tells the fat dyke he has a rather large penis. Whether this is true or not is unknown. He tells Sweet Guy that morgue should be called a Mortuary. Something he considers to be important during this chat event. He casually mentions The Google to be his mighty weapon for flaming, as if one could do a search for "great comebacks in a flamewar! Download for FREE" and then instantaneously pwn people with "yo momma is so fat" jokes and other great comebacks alike.
Also notice how Dangasm tries to romance the fat lesbian woman by telling her stuff as: "If she was pretending to cum, she wouldn't be squirting woman juice all over my dick and balls."
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
Felix 4 teh win.
In our next segment in the same chat Dangasm light aka Felix joins in on the drama. Although Felix is known throughout the palace as Dangasm light even he feels offended at the very thought and try's to hop on the "let's all pwn Dangasm train", desperate to clear his name and achieve some fame. A few extraplus facts include:
- Dangasm hates niggers. (Confirm/deny)
- Denied by Dangasm by mentioning he is white. And British, let's not forget British.
- Unfortunately we could not get his picture.
- Dangasm mentions him having had some "I was made to like spread sperm with random women in nightclubs, and get drunk and forget who they were." And that he was born of this.
- Dangasm explains to the people what an IQ is, something he obsessively mentions in every trolling session, example being: "Yes but you are an American and you have a low IQ and can't spell properly!!!!"
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
"Dangasm: Jews killed people?" That, lady's and gentlemen.... is Dangasm. To quote "mikey | danse.macabre": when it all blows up in his face he turns to stating the obvious.
Dangasm Quote Appendix
- Dangasm: Newsflash: The internet is unreliable
- Dangasm: I want t-shirts that state "indifferent. Don't try."
- Dangasm: I apologise for ruining this chatroom.
- Dangasm: I am owning the chatroom.
- Dangasm: Is the simple answer to that one.
- Dangasm: I am building up a case file.
- Dangasm: So I must have bothered them that much in the first place.
- Dangasm: Pwned is when you care about palace.
- Dangasm: I have an idea.
- Dangasm: I can create my own palace room.
- Dangasm: Then kick you.
- Dangasm: =)
- Dangasm: Only good american, is a dead american.
- Dangasm: When you connect to palace you have an IP address.
- Dangasm: You're illiterate.
Other people on Dangasm
a 32bit pirate: I should ask him if his flipper gives him extra agility in the water.
(9:04:32 AM) ;zod. [SSC] : K Swiss made the Retard picture of Dan, he is alright in my book. (9:05:00 AM) °pirate° : That picture isn't even relevant anymore, zod. (9:05:07 AM) K Swiss : dangasm used to have an avatar in which he wore a flower on his head (9:05:16 AM) °pirate° : Dangasm is the worst kind of asshole. (9:05:17 AM) K Swiss : he used to wear it all the time. it was pretty queer (9:05:18 AM) °pirate° : He is a poser. (9:05:26 AM) °pirate° : HE DOESN'T EVEN ACTUALLY HAVE A FLIPPER!
a 32bit pirate: °pirate°: Dan, how does it feel to be outsmarted and thrown in jail by Batman on a regular basis?
a 32bit pirate: He's still not saying anything, the penguin fucker. He needs to stop swallowing fish and talk.
mikey | danse.macabre: when it all blows up in his face he turns to stating the obvious.
(7:30:01 AM) Dangasm : Following = Obsession. (7:30:05 AM) Dangasm : Knew you'd do that. (7:30:06 AM) DAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLIPPER? : WHY (7:30:08 AM) DAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLIPPER? : A FLIPPER (7:30:08 AM) DAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLIPPER? : WHY (7:30:10 AM) BetterThanMe : lol (7:30:19 AM) DAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLIPPER? : Just explain the flipper. (7:30:20 AM) DAN- WHY DO YOU HAVE A FLIPPER? : Please! (7:30:20 AM) BetterThanMe : that room was getting a little idk lol (7:30:22 AM) Dangasm : I've now got good grounds to have you IP banned. (7:30:27 AM) ÐŮ˲ЮËÅm™ : lol god they followed us lol
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
The death of Dangasm
Sadly we must now say that on october 12th 1978 (today) dangasm has decided to change his nickname and die on us. He died an hero and he did all he ever did for the lulz. Still, it was his best performance ever, getting uberpwnd by pirate, zod and even a little 16-year-old girl who'm he tried to hit on called "BetterThanMe." Dangasm wouldn't be Dangasm if he didn't say that he actually pwnd a room full of about 60 people simultaniously pwning him and right now there is muchmanymoar debate what his new nick is in the room we are in right now.
The clouds are clearing up, the war had ended and we have won. But what have we won? Some people are crying, others are laughing and yet others say that one day great poetry and songs will be written about the great Dangasm pwnage. Is this the ending? Let me mention the words from the Oracle in the Matrix Revolutions: "Everything that has a beginning has an end, neo." And perhaps this has been the end of Dangasm. Dangasm has been on the Chat Palace since may 1981, and has been the subject of many debate. Kind of like John Titor and his time traveling. Was he real? Was there a real Dangasm? One of even went as far as to say: "You know what, who cares what his new nick is, I'M Dangasm." Followed by everybody going: "No, no, I'M Dangasm." and "Stfu , I'M Dangasm."
Eventually we all said we were Dangasm, and that's the final truth about this whole Dangasm story. And you know what? I AM Dangasm.
Over and out, his echo will always remain all over the palace. Frightning little children, parents telling them: "You shouldn't be a jerk on the internets, you don't want to be a Dangasm."
"What's a Dangasm daddy?"
Dangasm returns x 2
On the same day as his untimely demise Dangasm couldn't resist coming back. It was on that same fateful day it was found out Dangasm uses multiple clients to create sockpuppets to defend him and to make for a pretend online girlfriend, called "intølerance". He even went as far to after he was found out log off under that name, then come back as user ",furti^e" to out of the blue say: "Oh but I have known intølerance for years she's real rly", then took his turn in saying Dangasm is a cool guy. Yes, that is quite sad actually. How many moar accounts he has is unknown. He is however able to run only 2 clients at a time, because he's a lamer and doesn't know shit from shinola.
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
The Dangasm/NYC Connection
A picture leaked on teh internets a short time ago, showing Dangasm on his craptacular moped in Jew York City at a homosensual street gathering. Normally, this would merely be more lulz material for Dangasm. However, the picture was taken on September 10th, 2001, less than a day before the 9/11 was turned into a parking lot. When the picture finally became available, it lead to many a OMG and belief that Dangasm had a hand in the bombing. This was also fueled (LOL @ FUEL+9/11) by Dangasms Chat Palace avatar which showed a plane crashing into NYC and said below it "Just Do It".
Party Van Agents flooded Dangasm's home and recovered no incriminating evidence, but did find plenty of furry pr0n. Many who knew Dangasm, including his family and closest fat lesbian goth friends admitted that Dangasm was too much of a pussy to actually do it. He simply tried to cause some drama by wearing his avatar since he thinks Jewnited States of Americunts is inferior to United Kingdom. Obviously, Dangasm is a retard.
My last and final chat with Dangasm
The Dangasm "meme" seems to be over on avatar palace (sadly), so it looks he has won, for now. I did however still have one final chatlog I'd like to show you all, because frankly well, it just shows how sad he actually is. He seems to have made his peace with everybody because people actually started to pity him. I decided to quit avatar palace because he turned the shit around on me and personally I'll pass on being the next dangasm. ;-) Anyway, here is the last log from here. I'm sure one day soon people will start to hate him again for what he is. Hitting on underage chicks, then flaming them when he doesn't succeed, and being a stuck up little British moped driving bitch. Muhahahaha...
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
Dangasm's one true love
To fill you in on the full story of this pwn, I must tell you that Nikki was created to pwn Zod, who it seemed had turned gay for Dangasm. The plan was to have General Zod cyber with Nikki and then post the whole log on ED, then point and laugh at Zod. But since Zod (that rat bastard!) doesn't dig Vietnamese girls and is quite possibly gay Confirm/deny, all of that plan fell in to the water. Zod even kindly requested Nikki if he could rape her room mate. I exposed myself to Pirate and Zod as being Nikki until another pleasant plot twist walked in to the room. You guessed it, Dangasm. Now I didn't just ran on the palace and said hey I'm nikki wanna fuck? No, I had already pretended to be Nikki and one other character for a week straight on, even logging in with multiple clients sometimes having them rip on eachother, not to give myself away. The fun thing is that Dangasm first hated teh Nikki, to then suddenly apologize and ask for my AIM.
Confused about my own sanity and sexuality, I yelled to Zod on AIM. Cursing his body to have demons take him to hell, and then ask if I should proceed with this. The end result being me having so much fun I forgot to take my medicine (literally).
There are some fun facts about Nikki's character:
- Nikki's dad was inspired by Twin Peaks Major Briggs, I had just held another Twin Peaks marathon last week.
- Nikki studies at PAFP and lives on the campus there, which is non-existant.
- Nikki's homenumber is a pizza place given to me by Pyoobez, who is a notorious gangsta in PA.
- Playing Nikki made me feel mighty gay.
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
I don't think I can ever out do this Dangasm pwn, but you are welcome to try. Later on Dangasm thinks that the telephone number given to him is actually real, and he continues to freely distribute a pizza place in PA's number and address:
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament. Update: The phone number given to him is rumoured to be some little old lady in PA, if this is the case everybody please stop harassing this lady. She has nothing to do with Dangasm.
The sad unfunny truth about Dangasm
Dangasm posted a full address of some little old lady in PA, USA. Still thinking that I actually gave him my irl number. If he keeps this up at one point the old lady's grandson, son-in-law or perhaps cop brother will arrest Dangasm for posting her address online. True, that would be the ultimate lulz but still I feel sorry for the old lady.
I happen to know she's an old lady because BDSM called the number after Dangasm gave it to her as well. Like "Hello is Nikki there? lulz!"
To quote Dangasms crappy freewebs website:
"Oh by the way. If you're wondering. By doing this I gained his telephone number as he was eager to get soundfiles of me...
I have this address for him. Weikel, M E
RR 4 Box -censor-
Sunbury, PA -censor-
(570) 286-censor-
His last name is WEIKEL. He obviously lives at home. PWNT. If you have any queries there are his details... These details are quite useful for various "reasons". Lets just say if someone uses a stolen card, and gets stuff sent to his address. The items bought could be 40 tubs of viagra for example. Haha."
Lulz dangasm! Weikel! According to Dangasm if your surname is WEIKEL you obviously still live at home. Note that the reasons I censored the address is because I:
- 1. Don't wish to get the little old lady in to moar trouble with harassing calls, and I respect the elderly. (lulz, no rly)
- 2. I don't want to get ED in trouble, even if I did have Dangasms address I would not be so whack as to put it on a website, you only end up pwning yourself putting any address online. It is a whack thing to do, there's unwritten rules about owning people on the intrawebs.
If you are as stupid as Dangasm is you will think that it is indeed my address, go ahead and look it up on his freewebs crapticle, but I have to ask you not to call that poor old lady. This family has absolutely nothing to do with either me, Nikki or Dangasm.
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament, same header title.
The AIM pedophile hating Oak
For a while Dangasm had an only friend in oak. (And perhaps zod) However, Dangasm wouldn't be Dangasm if he didn't fuck this up as well. For some unclear reason (My guess: Dangasm being Dangasm) he suddenly hates oak now. And wishes to 'destroy' him in the same hysterical woman-like manner he wishes to kill me in my elderly PA lady form by ordering lot's and lot's of viagra. Perhaps he hopes I'll take the viagra with full tubes and kill myself with a hardon, I don't know. Not to get sidetracked Dangasm also hit on (yet another) 13 year old girl. Her nickname is "Frito lay me" and she's been around on Chat Palace for some time now.
Even though it was him (the proof of it came from his own website) hitting on this 13 year old girl and getting blocked with much many butthurt from her AIM for asking her for homemade child pornography, he suddenly accuses oak for being a pedophile.
Dangasm has a bright future ahead of him:
- 1. Ending up on perverted justice.
- 2. Getting arrested for harassment of the elderly.
- 3. Getting plenty Butthurt in prison.
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament.
Dangasms great break-up
On 17-2-2007 Dangasm suddenly breaks up with what was apparently his girlfriend Confirm/deny Preeta and formerly zack's girlfriend. According to him she was replaced by a cute 14 year old, making the new girl friend ten years younger than the previous one. It was strange, because it was the first time that Dangasm pwnd two people on the Chat Palace, ever.
- 1. Pwnd zack because he stole zacks girlfriend.
- 2. Pwnd Preeta for making her leave zack and then leaving her for a 14 year old. (pedo)
You can read the log in the Dangasm/Logs new testament
Dangasms final death.
Dangasm is dead now, time to move on to bigger things. Give him a troll when you see him though! Dangasm is and always will be like a Nigerian email scammer, roaming avatar palace, so it's pretty sure you'll meet him yourself!
papa phobo: "there once was a guy named Dan he hailed from lolcow land he jerked off his dickie thinking about nikki but it turned out that she was a man"
THE END.
THE END.
THE END.
THE END.
THE END.
THE END.
THE END.
See Also
Dangasm links
Dangasm's freewebs site about RIAA Copyright guy. Site got frozen, dangasm even gets pwnd by freewebs.
Dangasm's 'girlfriend' Nikki aka Casey.
