Britain's Got No Fucking Talent
Britain's Got Talent, also known as Britain's Got Educationally Subnormal People, is a UK reality series consisting of 3 judges: Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden, and hosted by Ant and Dec. The show is essentially like all the other 'got talent' shows owned by Simon, in which they exploit both acts who are desperate to break out into the industry and the untalented people who are just dumb enough to watch for a cheap laugh, by televising their embarrassing debauchery on a stage and broadcast it all over England.
Notable winners include Paul Potts from 2007, a fat opera singer who won because he had damaged teeth and worked in Carphone Warehouse; and in 2009 when some chavs and niggers in a dance troupe called Diversity won the final, by dancing. Another notable contestant was Susan Boyle, a fuck-ugly batshit insane woman who shocked the world with a beautiful singing voice, becoming an online sensation overnight after her rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" in the 2009 season of "Britain's Got Talent". Though quirky and visually displeasing, she was even able to wow the likes of Simon Cowell, which many have come to know as impossible. She didn't win, she lost against the dancing niggers.
Notable Winners Losers
Paul Potts
Paul Potts (not to be confused with Pol Pot according to an inferior wiki), is a fugly wanker who sang opera and confused the fuck out of Simon the asshole, before pwning Sanjaya to win British American Idol. No one gave a fuck until it ended up on the internets, and your retarded friends decided to e-mail the video to you. After watching the video, millions of people cried their eyes out over the insane amount of "talent" he has.
Trolling Paul Potts fans is lulzy, mainly because doing so will almost certainly result in "OMG, HE'S SO GOOD I HEARD HIS VOICE AND I CRIED BAWWWWWWWW!!!" . Some will even go as far as to say "HE'S GREAT HE NEVER HAD ANY TRAINING!" even though, unknown to the fans, he had several years of training before his Britain's Got Talent audition.
Really, he's the greatest singer to ever exist.
There was a goofy guy with a silly grin on stage. Just like you, we all thought he was retarded, and possibly was MONGO. Just as we expected him to sing "She Bangs", put his helmet back on and go back into his wheelchair, he started singing opera. Then everyone started clapping, out of sheer confusion and inability to do anything else.
George Spamson
George Spamson is dancer from manchester who won the 2008 edition because of his ghetto background and the fact he had a spine disorder. He is known for whining onstage constantly, and for his retarded fans.
Ways to troll a George Spamson fan:
- Say he's constantly whining about his issues and upbringing, trying desperately to get a sympathy vote.
- Say that in reality, he's not as consistent or as good a dancer as half the people on there, following the previous statement.
- If they reply to you with some fucktarded statement along the lines of "ERR OMG HE HAS A SPIINAAAL DISODA LEEV HIM ALON!!!1" tell them he doesn't know them or give a shit about them, and that therefore defending him is pointless.
- Tell them he's good at flailing his arms about and tumbling around on the floor like the retarded cripple he is, but if he tried something that actually required some form of technique, such as ballet, ballroom or the tango, he'd be about as good as that other psycho who auditioned and simply waved his arms in the air from side to fucking side.
- Say he's overrated.
- Point out the fact that his sister is a known whore! Srsly! evidence.
Afterward, he pwned Sanjaya and then William Hung and became King of British American Idol, and he got to perform in front of the Queen. Only then some dude found out that he had sung opera before, because American Idol is serious fucking business. Instead of being butthurt, Potts pwned them by saying that, just like Cracky-chan, he had never done it for money.
Diversity
Diversity is a dance troupe who debuted on the third season of BGT and they got all the way to the grand final and won with their overrated body-poppy dancing garbage you've seen buskers do thousands of times before. The only notable thing about them other than their dancing is that one kid with big curly hair the chav niggers kidnapped from a Tesco carpark. They also carried him on stage in a toddler bodybag in their original audition, which was kinda weird. They're no strangers to injecting political shit into their act as well, with one of their latest performances including inspiration from the George Floyd death, where they dressed as a cop to kneel on one of the dancers.
How to troll a Diversity fan:
- Say that their dancing isn't that special
- Say they're not diverse in IQ
- Use the default standard for trolling niggers and Black Lives Matter: (i.e. 13/90)
Despite pissing off everyone not interested in their low-brow aping of American politics, the aforementioned ITV dance won a Bafta. In retaliation, one man in particular, comedian and television madlad Jim Davidson, came out of retirement to knock them off their high horse. They haven't been seen on TV since this drama, so we can only presume the nigger patrol took them up and threw them in the nearest cotton field, never to be seen dancing again.
Examples of our proud cultural heritage
Previous Video | Next Video
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Britain's got cock. Literally.
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I FOUND THE CLITORIS!
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Cooking sausages has never been so much fun!
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Mr. Hands would be so proud
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Now with added sparks for a closer pubic shave
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Oi, I've got a metal string stuck up me bum!
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Talent.
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I'll just leave this here...
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Ways to Troll a BGT act's Fan
- Go to the comment section of a YouTube video of them and bash him/her/it (??).
- Say that they need more training.
- Give ANY kind of constructive criticism.
External links
See Also
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Britain's Got No Fucking Talent is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |