Hannah Bond

Lose an iPod? This page contains an hero.

Not only stupid as fuck, but ugly too!

Hannah "Swinger" Bond was a 13 year old emo poser !!11 fan of the band My Chemical Romance. She is noted for becoming an hero by hanging herself, and the shitstorm her parents MCR fans have caused about her death.

AN HERO

Before an hero was even in the ground, her parents started going to various media outlets blaming My Chemical Romance for their daughter's suicide (instead of their shitty parenting). Many lulz ensued.

Old Media's Reaction

Several lulzy articles in United Kingdom newspapers The Telegraph and The Daily Mail were penned following this tragic turn of events. Lulz include comparing emo faggotry to a religion, as seen in this quote:

	“	She had secretly chatted to “emo” followers online all over the world, talking about death and the glamorisation of hanging and speaking about “the black parade” - a place where “emos” believe they go after they die.	„
	—The old media has clearly done its research.

So Hannah now is clearly in the Black Parade for her an heroism, enjoying her 72 virgins (screamo band keyboardists).

NEVAR FORGET

8/5/08

On May 8th, a number of courageous /b/tards stumbled upon her memorial page and posted links to it on 4chan. Needless to say the site was swamped with lulzy comments from bored Americunts and insomniac Britfags. A total of ten pages worth of suicide jokes, meme spouting and a healthy dose of necrophilia were posted (not to mention people coming to tell Hannah that she did it wrong) and much lulz was had by all. Of course, the owners of the memorial page being 13-year old kids guaranteed that the best was yet to come.

The Shitstorm

When her friends came back from school the next day and realized that their precious memorial page had been fucked with, they promptly complained to the Bebo admins. The Admins, however were too busy sucking their own cocks to care about some shitty memorial page and the shitstorm escalated from there. As the evening wore on, and more /b/tards came online to survey the havoc they found themselves in a particularly savage flamewar, which continued throughout the night and into the next day. It was only after 1pm on Saturday 10th May that the banhammer started coming down. The current state of her memorial profile is unknown,[1] but the clear moral of the story is that bebo admins are some of the laziest fuckwits out there.

The article

Since its inception soon after the bebo raids and not long after her death the article has become one of ED's most furious warzones. The mass blankings and reverts have provided their own form of lulz. Although,this article about Hannah is no longer an edit war since her suicide was old news. Anyways,here is what some of the more literate members of the emo community have had to say about the article on Hannah Bond:

	“	If anyone actually cared about what all you idiots think about hannah, you wouldn't get messages attacking you! leave her alone and let her be. She is not a poser and was not an emo 'follower'. shut up all you journalists, dimwits, and haters. she did nothing wrong. She was just upset and needing some love. You have taken any love she had away from her and more, even after death. Go away and to be honest you should just delete this article altogether. it doesn't need to be here. neutral or biased, it's only doing everyone harm.	„
	—Xpoisonxgirlx failing to understand the userbase or purpose of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

	“	Its low and discusting to make jokes about a tragic event, It sickens me so I cannot find words for it. There are no words for such scum.	„
	—Jrod1195 on not having a dictionary.

	“	Why write this Its horrible	„
	—Hiphoppopsawah on rhetorical questions and unnecessary capitalization.

	“	The person who write this just got this shit off a newspaper and wants to make it worse since they carnt live their own sad lives so they have to wreck everyone elses thats just not fair on hanah she didnt say to her parents "I want to kill myself" she wouldnt have thats what the newspapers say becasue they just want a birra gossip to tell but theyre shit liars , she had things in life wich made her feel down and things and she didnt think life would be worth living because it was so hard for her and what i heard she was a nice friendly girl and she was very pretty but whoever wrote this needs to get a life and like i saiid if they have a problem tell me bout it [email protected] i dont think it faiir that people are judging her wen they obv didnt know her ! R.I.P Hannah x x x x	„
	—XoxIndy-cindyxox's reply to the question, "In a single sentence, tell us about retrospective psychoanalysis and the merits of the British Journalism establishment. Also being highly incapable of using a single full stop (or grammar)."

	“	I Dont cear How Old This Page Is but Iv Been Doing Research For My Drama Exam And Our Play Is About Teen Suicides.... I Think That Yuu Sick Bitch who Wrote This Artical Needs To Get A Grip And Look At The Big Picture... What yuur Saying Here Is Completely Wrong and Yuu Need To Think About Who Yuur Hurting Ino to Many People who Sufferd From Self Harm Or Sucide Related Things And Im Quite Offended By The Bullshit Yuuv Wrote If Yuu Think That What Yuuv Sed Here Makes Yuu Cool Then Yuur Wronge And It Just Makes Yuu Completly Sick In The Head ... YUU NEED HElP ... So i Suggest Yuu Get It If Any Ones The Poser Here Its Yuu Get Yuur Life Sorted Yuu Sicken Twat...	„
	—NotSoHurt (clearly ironic sn) on how much YUUUU suk, in dramatically unnecessary capitalization and, well, I don't really know to be honest. Note she makes it a point not to capitalize personal "I".

MCR Responds

“   We have recently learned of the suicide and tragic loss of Hannah Bond. We’d like to send our condolences to her family during this time of mourning. Our hearts and thoughts are with them. My Chemical Romance are and always have been vocally anti-violence and anti-suicide. As a band, we have always made it one of our missions through our actions to provide comfort, support, and solace to our fans. The message and theme of our album ‘The Black Parade’ is hope and courage. Our lyrics are about finding the strength to keep living through pain and hard times. The last song on our album states: ‘I am not afraid to keep on living’ – a sentiment that embodies the band’s position on hardships we all face as human beings. If you or anyone that you know have feelings of depression or suicide, we urge you to find your way and your voice to deal with these feelings positively.   „     — (Wayback Machine)

Gallery

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  WHEN I WAS, AN HERO

• 

  You must battle the paramedics.

• 

  Leave Bond to me.

• 

  Hanging yourself with a necktie isn't normal, but on emo it is.

• 

  Pwnt

• 

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Girly pops tells off the old media

A NOTE FROM A WHINY FAGGOT: Hey ,,, I Think This Hannah Bond Is Getting Out Of Hand A Bit Here :l She Was A Lovely Caring Girl And Now All Shee Needs To Do Is R.I.P Why Is Eveeryone Still Going On And On When Shes Up There Watching Down On The People She Loves Theres No Point In Arguing Who Done It And What She Done It For Yeah You May Blame Mcr When You Shouldnt But Maybe You Dont,,, All Im Trying To Get Through Is Why Dont You Leave Her Alone Shes Now Happy Where She Is. And Mcr Well They Havent Got Nothing To Be Ashamed About When They Havent Done Anything In The First Place,,, She Listened To Theyre Music Whats So Bad About That ? Maybe Im Missing Something Her Buht Honestly Its Just Pathetic Bitcching And Arguin And Taking Sides over Something Wich Really Isnt Worth Anything. Yes I Mean Hannah Bond Deserves Respect Even Though Shes Gone? People Are Stressing Over This Way To Muchh ,,, Hannah Isnt So Why Should You ? Get On With Your Lives And Leave Her To R.I.P Maybe Itll Be Better That Way ? Thanks Anyway And If Ive Saiid Anything Rong Then Email Me... [email protected] . :] Thankyou Anyway Hope You See My Point :] Andd Most Importantly Rest In Peace Gorguss Babe ,,, Hannah Bond x True Babe :] x

PS: Hannah isn't stressing because she's fucking DEAD.

See Also

• Operation Yewtube
• WHEN I WAS
• An hero
• My Chemical Romance

External Links

• The original Daily Mail article. (Wayback Machine)
• Similar article, from the same website, about the same subject, featuring the same pictures and captions, except this time it's written for women. (Wayback Machine)
• The emos' side. (Wayback Machine)
•  'Fagbook memorial page

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