Aquaphilia
Aquaphilia is a perversion that infests the brains of sexual deviants, mainly those of gays and school swimming coaches. Not to be confused with watersports, it's basically a fetish for having oneself submerged in water and seeing others underwater. It also draws connections to other paraphilias and has a slew of unique side interests of its own.
If you're having fun at the beach or in a public pool, be on the lookout for a sick fuck who appears overly fixated on you while you're enjoying one or more of the following activities:
- Seeing how long you can stay underwater for.
- Having an underwater breath holding contest with another person.
- Playfully dunking your friend underwater, or being dunked under by others.
- Swimming or surfing in a speedo or wetsuit.
- Swimming or diving while wearing goggles, flippers, or other diving gear.
- Sunbathing in a speedo or similar swimwear.
- Pool wrestling.
- Skinny dipping at the lake.
- Swimming underwater laps at the Y.
- Taking a bath while leaving the curtains open.
- Performing sexual acts in an apartment complex hot tub after they lock the gates for the night.
Like all other sexually-themed mental diseases, it goes far and beyond the list above, all the way from drowning yourself for sport to turning your favorite balloon animal into an inflato-date. And of course the aquaphiliac "art" galleries aren't complete without participation from the furries, bronies, and scalies.
Like an Onion: Layers!
The brain of an aquaphiliac is a very fucked up thing with many dark corners and twisted layers. The internet is rife with shameless faggots posting videos and comments revealing all the disturbing fantasies they share so that the rest of the world can see just how fucked up they all are, and subsequently cause anyone seeing them to have to go swimming, surfing, or tanning at the beach in fear for the rest of their tarnished lives.
Time is of the Essence
Much like breath control, the arousal in this area of the interest increases with the longer the person's head or entire body is underwater for. And if said person is being forcibly held underwater, it's even more exciting to the deviant. This of course makes it dangerous as fuck and brings the obvious potential for predators to drown motherfuckers like rats just so they can get off.
The formula in a nutshell:
- Underwater for 1 minute: "That was pretty neat…"
- Underwater for 2 minutes: "That's hawt!"
- Underwater for 3+ minutes: "I came."
For this reason, the aquaphilia and breath control community usually go hand in hand, along with the BDSM community.
If you're a kid who just got a new GoPro camera for your birthday and can't wait to post cool underwater footage with it to YouTube, be prepared to receive some "off" comments and private messages from random strangers with private accounts. Their usernames will likely be along the lines of "underwaterluvr," "waterboy69," or "drowningmen01." If you're a good boy or girl and decide to play along, your new friend might even offer to send you a free pair of goggles just to ensure you'll be able to stay underwater as long as you can for them!
Straight men (the lesser populated side of the fetish) tend to have an enormous hard-on for mermaids. They likely grew up watching Baywatch and would cream their pants while watching the drowning scenes, and now enjoy reliving their youthful orgasms by buying and watching DVDs of beautiful women staying underwater for dangerous periods of time. On a side note, if your last girlfriend dumped you because you tried to drown her, you might have a problem.
Drowning Face
Another area of this perversion is an interest in seeing people lying completely still with their eyes open underwater. This gives the impression that the person has drowned, and is now helplessly living out the last few minutes of their lives unconsciously underwater. Just like being turned on by the act of forcefully drowning people, this interest is dangerous as fuck, as it's basically people who are being turned on by seeing a dead body.
YouTube hosts several videos of people (mainly kids, of course) taking on "challenges" and fulfilling "innocent" requests of "how long can you stay underwater in your bathtub with your eyes open for?" So now we've not only got pervs who want to see people who look like they drowned, but sick fucks who get off on seeing dead, drowned kids, while the kids are blissfully unaware of it. But hey, it earned them some new likes and subscribers!
- User "petrvav" is the one hitting up all the lil boys for this "challenge"
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Wetsuit = Wet Dream
Playing into the leather/latex fetish, some freaks get off on seeing dudes in speedos, goggles, swimcaps, or wetsuits. Some even take it as far as having a fetish for heavily-clothed military frogmen. There are plenty of blogs littered with pictures of this crap, especially in instances where the wetsuit reveals a nice, manly bulge. The guy who's always taking pictures at your kid's swim meet even though he doesn't have a kid on the team of his own is likely a swimwear fanatic. Or he's just a fucking pedo.
Deep sea divers particularly tickle these creeps' fancies as they are completely clad in flippers, masks, and wetsuits, and assisted with oxygen tanks which allow them to stay underwater for long-ass periods of time.
The next time someone tells you that your nose clip is cute, tell them to fuck off.
Hide Yo Kids, Yo Wife, and Yo Rubber Ducky
And of course there's inflatophiles, those hopeless creeps who get off on humping inflatable rafts and fucking balloon animals. They put the "fun" in "fun noodle" and take "hump-back whale" to a whole new level. If your pal's rubber duckie has a strategically placed hole in it, you're most likely dealing with an inflatofag. Much like plushophiles, the subject of the sick interest is simply changed from plush to rubber, and more often than not is pumped full of air.
Faggots like to upload videos of themselves humping inflatable objects to let the world know just how badly they're gonna die alone. If they can grind on their inflatable animal pal hard enough to the point that it pops, they get bonus likes and comments on their sinful video.
Free Diving
Free diving is a Euro-trash sport that's currently the official home for aquaphiliacs of all degrees. As the name implies, it's a "sport" where you dive as deep down into a tank of water as you can without the aid of oxygen tanks, then swim back up to the surface before you drown. Much like NASCAR and car crashes, people only give a shit about the times where the athletes have accidents and drown. People have of course died from this suicidal form of entertainment, and fetishist viewers from around the globe will in turn bust a fat load while watching the scene on repeat.
If you'd rather go diving without gear to breathe for you, you're a dumb fuck asking to drown, as you likely won't be able to last more than a few minutes underwater. People who are interested in participating in this sport are either aquaphiliacs, or the same retards who would try to drown a fish or have a breath holding contest with a dolphin. And not the inflatable kind.
Videos
- Mermaids in Peril
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Gallery
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Yush <33
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For some reason I feel the bag is unnecessary in this scenario
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Thinspiration crossover
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Brony ruin everything
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Drown art
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Eyes open plz kthx
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Inflatable pool toys are fun!
See Also
External Links
menunderwater- breathhold
- Fuck yeah sea queens!
- Mermaid porn on shanachan
- Yeah, there's a "LatexWiki"
- Because shower caps are somehow sexually appealing...
- This sick fuck's into all of them
- Mermaid Melissa, the goddess of mer-porn
- BalloonLovinBoy lives up to his name
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Aquaphilia is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
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Aquaphilia is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article December 17 & 18, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Jackie Coakley |
Aquaphilia | Succeeded by Barrett Brown |