QAnon
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IF YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT YOU ARE FUCKING DUMB! |
QAnon, also known as Queer Anon, or Q, is a tripfag e-celebrity who submits vague, low-effort dyslexic shitposts to the faggotry-infested /pol/ boards of 4chan and 8chan. Gullible retards like your drunk, lazy crackpot dad will eat up all the shit QAnon pumps out of his prolapsed, unkempt Americunts asshole; believing him to be an insider within the United States government who holds Q-level clearance and has been allowed to continue making posts despite very publicly confirming the existence of the very secret U.S. Deep State™.
Sometime in mid-2018, the host (the man) they call Ghost, the raging alcoholic in charge of running the lulzy True Capitalist Radio broadcast via BlogTalkRadio, claimed that his Capitalist Army - believing the QAnon personality to be part of an elaborate trolling plan by the liberal media to discredit the right-wing - had secured the docs of QAnon, publishing his name and online history in a tell-all hit piece for their vanity WordPress blog. According to the aforementioned article, the man behind the QAnon posts is a wealthy North Carolina-based investor named Dustin Craig Krieger, who has a criminal history showing that he has previously been charged with possession of heroin in the vicinity of a child care center, presumably while trying to make a quick buck peddling opium-flavored candies to 6 year-olds. A further investigation revealed that one of Krieger's investing accounts was registered under the username Xanatos, a revelation that enabled Ghost's team of Computer Science III-trained cyberjournalism specialists to expertly link Krieger to a 
FurAffinity account, as the account was also named Xanatos. Despite the exceptional work conducted by the E-detectives over at the capitalist /i/nsurgency, the dox they dropped on QAnon appears to be completely unsubstantiated, and can only be regarded as complete bullshit, which doesn't come as a surprise considering that three of the four profiles listed are totally unrelated to each other except in name, with the YTMND account belonging to the half-life machinima guy also known as Xanatos. About 6,700 results on The Google ("xanatos" inurl:profile, and "xanatos" inurl:user) also show that, much to everyone's total shock and surprise, more than one person may call themselves the same name online and not be the same user as someone else.
Creating A Monster
As the flames began to die down of 4Chan's lesser-known trolling attempt Pizzagate, the troglodytes at 4Chan began to conspire to make something far greater than the prototype that had failed QA testing. They went from alpha testing to beta and rolled out Pizzagate 2.0, aka "The Storm". They pushed this glorious turd through the anus that is /pol/ and plopped it on the face of America under the guise of 4chan user "Q". And no, that's not a Star Trek reference, nerd.
Starting on On October 28, 2017, 4chan began allowing users into open beta-testing for Pizzagate 2.0 by posting a series of Scooby Doo mystery clues in a /pol/ thread made by user "Q" titled “Calm Before the Storm” (assumedly in reference to that lulzy Trump quote from early October). Q pretended to be a "high-level government insider with Q clearance" (hence the stupid name) tasked with posting intel drops — which they retardedly called “crumbs” — straight to 4chan in order to "covertly inform the public" about Trump's "master plan to stage a countercoup against members of the deep state." It was, in short, absolutely hilarious, mainly because of the idea that a serious government whistle-blower would use 4chan as their outlet is fucking hysterical. Beta testers on 4chan quickly caught on and began adding lulz to the trollout.
Part two of the open beta test (Pizzagate 2.0's first major patch, resulting in Pizzagate 2.1) came in the form of fabricating several "coincidences" in an effort to make Q look more real. Examples included Q pretending to guess that Trump would tweet the word “small” on Small Business Saturday, pretending to be on Air Force One by posting a blurry picture of some islands while Trump was on his trip to Asia, and accurately guessing the size of Trump's 1.2-inch long penis. This caused retards on 4chan that were not hip to the actual trolling that was clearly happening to believe (or at least pretend to believe) that Q was actually real.
The 4chan troll elites that had birthed the project jizzed in their collective pants with excitement as they realized that the conspiracy was actually starting to take hold. They decided to stop beta testing and launch the full release of their product, dropping the name Pizzagate 2.1 as well as "the Storm" and settling with "QAnon" which is what everyone was calling it by then. QAnon hit the market last Thursday and became the latest bukkake to fall upon the face of the internet. It, unlike Pizzagate, was wildly successful.
Regardless of whatever or not you believe in Q, he has bought tons of salt to those who hate him often causing the MSM to write hit pieces that are written in a similar matter to the Legacy Media's first report talking about 4chan. These hit pieces formed as a result of leftist tears who are furious at the existence of QAnon who brought low IQ normalfags to come post at 8chan.
A Contemporary Nostradamus For Neckbeards
Like some shitty Turner Diaries fanfiction, Q's posts tend to talk constantly about some supposed insider war between Donald Trump and the members of a "Deep State" of mostly democrats that collude in the shadows to steal money, rape children, and keep you a jobless virgin. Like the 70-year-old Gypsies with a magic ball you can always find at any cheap amusement park, QAnon's predictions rely on vagueness and are about as open to interpretation as an European art film. Much like astrology, this means that any retarded minuscule event can be attributed to Q's posts if you try hard enough. He wasn't always like this, mind you. Until drop 60 or so, he made much more precise predictions about a supposed purge in DNC, mass arrests of "deep state politicians" and some kind of martial law being enforced, all with dates ranging from "soon" to "this week" to "this year". When his shitwit predictions failed to materialize, he saw that he needed to go full horoscope and make the "leaks" as muddy and open ended as humanly possible.
FBI OPEN UP!
The FBI, much to the delight of the trolls who created the conspiracy, determined QAnon to be a "potential source of domestic terrorism", the first time the agency had rated a fringe conspiracy theory in such a manner. Normally conspiracy theorists remained indoors, jerking off to scat porn videos, and trolling on various online platforms used by simpletons. They rarely went outside of the house or accomplished anything. QAnon changed all of that by amassing an army of rascal riding dipshits that were willing to attend public gatherings on their way to McDonald's. This concerned people because normally these asshats were unable to squeeze through their front doors or weren't socially competent enough to gather in groups. Somehow they had overcome these obstacles and were now only a car ride away from the gun section at Walmart. It seemed like only a matter of time before they would go for the high score if pushed over the crazy side of the fence they were teetering on.
Blind loyalty to a government conspiracy fueled by trolls + mental and social retardation + willingness to go outside + guns = you're gonna have a BAD time.
The conspiracy was tied to several cases of asspie on asspie crime:
- a man accused of murdering his brother with a sword.
- a man accused of murdering an alleged crime boss.
- a man who reportedly threatened to kill YouTube employees.
- an armed man who blocked the Hoover Dam with an armored vehicle.
- a libtard who threatened to assassinate Trump.
- threats against a charter school that forced it to cancel an annual fundraiser.
- QAnon supporters planning a kidnapping “raid.”
The conspiracy theory has also become increasingly popular among border militias and anti-government groups, as if those lunatics needed more crazy shit to believe in. Whether these pussies will actually leave their bunkers and begin their reenactment of Farcry 5 has yet to be seen.
Leaving the Matrix
The trolls that created QAnon had long since had to do anything by this point, (besides continuing to post as Q), as the project had pretty much become self-sufficient. People who actually believe in the conspiracy do most, if not all, of the work now. They have divulged into what we shall henceforth refer to as "The QAnon Cult", not to be confused with the trolls spurring them on.
The lulz would continue to ensue as the 4Chan conspiracy spread from the internet into the real world. QAnon cult followers began appearing at Trump reelection campaign rallies in August 2018. How they didn't burst into flames after leaving their mom's basement for the first time in their lives is still a mystery to this day. Some more popular retards came out of the alt-right woodwork and began to make appearances that added more lulz to the QAnon scene. Some of these cum guzzlers include:
- Michael "Lionel" Lebron: A TV and radio personality. He was a staunch promoter of the "theory" that was granted a photo opportunity with Trump in the Oval Office in August.
- Bill Mitchell A Broadcaster who promotes QAnon. He attended a White House "social media summit" in July 2019. At an August 2019 rally, he warmed up the crowd before Trump spoke used the QAnon motto "where we go one, we go all", later denying that it was a QAnon reference like the pussy that he is.
==#TakeTheOath==
In June 2020, Q whipped his dick out and told members of The QAnon Cult to line up and take a "digital soldiers oath", which was sort of like carving a Q into your forehead while also having it branded on your ass with a hot iron at the same time. Cultists were quick to line up in saying yes using the Twitter hashtag #TakeTheOath and offering free blowjobs to Q, and anyone willing to join the movement. Twitter and Facebook tried to combat the STD that was spreading through their user base like diaper rash on Onideus Mad Hatter' ass, but it was too late. Those they did manage to get rid of simply spread to dedicated message boards such as EndChan and 8kun, where they "organized to wage information warfare to influence the 2020 elections". At this point, it was becoming very hard to tell troll from cultist, not that it really mattered anymore.
Identity of Q
Most people are too stupid to realize that Q isn't a single person; "he" is just a bunch of trolls on 4chan fucking with them. Thousands of jackasses love to try and figure out who "he" is, as if "he", like Bigfoot, is fucking real. The smart money is on him being just a simple asspie who was banned from his KKK rally for being a gay nigger and needed to vent. Others believe that he's a Russia Intelligence Agent trying to determine how retarded the American voter base really is before hacking the next election. Either way, Q wants YOU for the QAnon Cult. Those who resist are just fake news snowflakes who don't know jack shit about the real world, or are people who have jobs, sex lives, and families that love them.
One thing is for sure; if Q is real, he is a HUGE fucking pussy who's way too chicken shit to share his real identity because they think the liberal boogie man is going to Candyman their ass.
After Q "left 4chan" because he felt that it had become "infiltrated" (totally not trolling more idiots into buying the whole secret agent bullshit) he went over to 8chan and started using a tripcode to prove how "real" he totally was. When 8chan got pwnd and was taken down following the 2019 El Paso shooting because they posted the shooter's manifesto, Q went silent. This, combined with statements by 8chan's founder Fredrick Brennan, the use of a "Q" collar pin by 8chan owner Jim Watkins, and Watkins' financial interest in a QAnon super PAC that advertises on 8chan, have led to widespread speculation that either Watkins or his son, 8chan's administrator Ron Watkins are the trolls behind Q. They denied this while snickering and high fiving each other at 4chan's LAN party last Thursday where everyone wore Q t-shirts and played My Ex-Boyfriend the Space Tyrant.
Supporters
Q's supporters are often the same individuals that believe in the flat earth and the Mandela effect. These people are the kind of people that believe in anything regardless of whether or not it is true; but with the media relentlessly pushing degeneracy at such a massive scale, you cannot blame them for not questioning who Q is.
The Summoning of QAnon Karen
In an effort to bolster their ranks, the QAnon Cult higher-ups performed a dark ritual; sacrificing a dozen libtard babies while listening to Kid Rock and watching Tucker Carlson on a loop. This resulted in the summoning of a demon known as QAnon Karen; a batshit crazy cunt who's bitch level is higher than that of Kellyanne Conway on all of her periods. Her first act of wrath upon the earth was to fuck up her local Target, chimping out on a mask display in protest of the Coronavirus while telling police that she was a "spokesperson" for QAnon. She is expected to join Trump's White House staff after his re-election.
Trump Pours Grain Alcohol On The Bonfire
Trump has repeatedly praised QAnon supporters after realizing they were basically offering him free rimjobs and reach-a-rounds (usually at the same time, if not in pairs). He has been quoted saying that he “appreciate[s]” that “they like me very much,” adding that “these are people that love our country”, (and by "country", he means his penis). When a reporter then noted that the conspiracy theory’s premise is that Trump is “secretly saving the world from this satanic cult of pedophiles and cannibals,” Trump trolled the libtard media by saying, “But is that supposed to be a bad thing or good thing? If I can help save the world from problems, I’m willing to do it. I’m willing to put myself out there.” It was at that moment that Trump became the biggest troll in the QAnon movement, outranking even its creators, and in fact, it put him up on the leaderboard as one of the most powerful trolls of all time, right behind Hitler's trolling of the Jews, the Jews' trolling of Jesus, Europe's trolling of natives across the globe, and President Truman's trolling of Japan.
Like a crackwhore feeding her baby paint chips, Trump fed his QAnon supporters; amplifying QAnon messaging over 9000 times by retweeting or mentioning at least 129 QAnon-affiliated Twitter accounts, sometimes multiple times a day. Additionally, members of Trump's family, his personal attorney, current and former campaign staffers, and even some current and former Trump administration officials had also repeatedly amplified QAnon supporters and their content. This has led to a collective, uncircumcised, unwashed internet boner on 4chan and other similar sites that puts even Ron Jeremy to shame.
As of August 2020, The Donald continues to stand firm, with his cock fully erect and unzipped, in support of The QAnon Cult. It has nothing to do with the fact that these sycophants will make up a huge chunk of his voters, attend his rallies en masse, spread his disinformation and propaganda online, or the fact that they will continue to blow him for free while he's on the toilet shitting out Burger King and Tweets.
Dustin Nemos/Dustin Craig Krieger Attacks Veterans
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How to Piss Off Dustin Craig Krieger
- Tell people that he is Qanon which has been debunked since there are multiple people being Qanon.
- Tell him that he is a criminal.
- Bring up his criminal record on the internet.
- Bring up his Powerword.
- Link him to this ED page.
QAnon Today
Despite libtards doing everything they could to fight back against the Godzilla that is QAnon, it's still pissing in their cornflakes to this day. This is mostly due to Trump Trolls doing their damndest to get The Donald reelected so that they can continue to cyberbully America for another four years. This means that any conspiracies that make him look good, especially QAnon, are simply not allowed to die. Many lulz has ensued in the process.
Many supporters of the QAnon conspiracy have pulled a 180 on the subject after realizing that what they gain from pretending to support it isn't worth getting skull fucked to death by liberals and intellectuals with their "facts" and "evidence" against the conspiracy. Even as Trump continues to give a thumbs up to QAnon while feigning ignorance, others who support the issue (but aren't rich millionaires) begin to turn tail and run like the cowards they are.
Meanwhile, the online fight against QAnon also continues, with websites and social media platforms doing everything they can to combat the AIDs epidemic that is Q and their followers. Sadly this hasn't done much to stop the asspies from gathering, fucking, and conspiring against their many foes. A QAnon incel networking app is currently in the works, as well as a board game called "What NOT To Do With Your Life" where QAnon is one of the many playable characters.
The "Facts"
4chan continued its Q escapades by making up one hilarious "fact" after another in an effort to pour gas into the engine they had created that was now revving at over 9000 RPMs per second. These "facts" included, but were not limited to, the following list:
- Trump was never really involved with Russia and isn’t actually under investigation by Mueller & Co. On the contrary, Q insists that it’s actually Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama who were corrupted by Putin (and are now actually under investigation by Mueller) because they’re obviously just evil, money-hungry globalists who’ll do anything for the highest bidder.
- Trump feigned collusion with Russians to enlist Robert Mueller to join him in exposing the ring and preventing a coup d'état by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and George Soros.
- HillBama (and other libtards) is into raping and killing children, though the crowd is split over whether this is because they’re Satanists or just part of some weird blackmail scheme involving the CIA.
- Trump, the genius that he is, figured all of this out way back when he was just a measly presidential candidate and has been pretending to suck Putin's cock and/or be involved with Russia ever since as a way to force a third party to investigate these horrors — without drawing the attention of those evil Dems-who-must-not-be-named, of course — because he’s just that selfless of a leader.
- Clinton, Obama, Podesta, Abedin, and even
McCain(he's dead, Jim), are all either arrested and wearing secret police-issued ankle monitors or just about to be indicted. - The Steele dossier is a total fabrication personally paid for by ClinBama.
- The Las Vegas massacre was most definitely an inside job connected to the Saudi-Clinton cabal.
- In addition to molesting children, members of this cabal also kill and eat their victims in order to ingest a life-extending chemical in human blood.
- In order to stop this elite ring of pedophilic cannibals, top military generals convinced Trump to run for president in 2016.
Most importantly of all for these Q-tards is that Trump is now secretly working behind the scenes to bring those involved to justice, leading to a "day of reckoning" involving the mass arrest of journalists and politicians the likes of which this planet has never seen before: It'll make Watergate look like a limp-dicked cuck watching his wife get plowed by a BBC.
Most of this "reckoning" was supposed to happen in November 2017, but, of course, none of it did. One would have expected this to derail the conspiracy, but thanks to so many autistic faggots online, the beast's claws had taken a stronghold across the internet and refused to die. It spread from the depths of 4chan (and 8chan if you're gay) to Reddit, YouTube, and Twatter, where it found hundreds of thousands of devout coprophiliac followers who were starving for some new shit to snack on. Around that golden age of QAnon's empire expansion, some of the most popular "explainer" videos boasted nearly 200,000 views, and the QAnon hashtag had gotten so popular that it was difficult to track.
Some brain-damaged jew troll (probably one of its 4chan originators from Pizzagate 2.0) even took the time to write a 117-page book charting Q’s rise to power (now buried among the dozens of others that have been puked out onto the internet) so that they could capitalize on the conspiracy's popularity and rake in the shekels. In fact, hundreds of troll investors bought into the QAnon stock and suckered millions of pennies out of dipshits across the globe.
How to Piss Off Qanon Supporters
- Offer them a palm reading.
- Ask them if they ever joined a doomsday cult.
- Ask them why they are in a doomsday cult.
- if they say they're not, point out similarities between what they believe, and the beliefs of doomsday cults.
- Tell them that Q is short for JQ.
- Tell them that by believing that Trump is some kind of uncorruptable insider against the deep state and not just another Neo-con boomer that surrounds himself with Jews and Wall Street goons, they're just as fucktarded and deluded as Hillary Clinton supporters.
- Show them pictures of Trump with people they think are pedophiles.
- Ask them why their main base of operation is 8chan if they hate pedos so much.
- Tell them that if they really wanted to, the "deep state" would have had Trump and Qanon commit suicide by running into a bullet the moment they opened their mouths.
Other Republican Candidates
It became apparent to every conservative hick running for office that if they wanted to get votes they were going to have to pretend to be mentally challenged and jump onto the QAnon bandwagon. So they drank a few glasses of cheap whiskey, shot up a heavy dose of fentanyl, and hit themselves over the head with a two-by-four in order to better understand the people they were trying to attract. Next thing you know they were supporting QAnons like real American Heroes while posting it online just like President Trump had before them. Some examples of these faggots include:
- Matthew Lusk: A Republican Florida congressional candidate.
- Danielle Stella: A Republican Minnesota congressional candidate.
- Jo Rae Perkins: A Republican Senate candidate in Oregon.
- Marjorie Taylor Greene: A Republican candidate for the 14th Congressional District in Georgia.
- Lauren Boebert: A Republican candidate for Colorado's 3rd congressional District.
- Mike Cargile: A Republican candidate for California's 35th Congressional District.
- Theresa Raborn: A Republican GOP House candidate in Illinois.
- Erin Cruz: A Republican running for a House seat in California.
- Angela Stanton-King: A Republican candidate for Georgia's 5th congressional district.
- Alison Hayden: A Republican candidate for California, 15th congressional district.
- Johnny Teague: A Republican candidate for Texas's 9th congressional district.
- Rob Weber: A Republican candidate for Ohio's 9th congressional district.
- Philanise White: A Republican candidate for Illinois' 1st congressional district.
- Billy Prempeh: A Republican U.S. Senate nominee from Oregon.
- Buzz Patterson: A Republican candidate for California's 7th congressional district.
A number of independent or write-in candidates who have supported the conspiracy theory will also appear on ballots in November like the true fags that they are. Since their parents clearly didn't love them, maybe the QAnon voters will.
Gallery
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You fell right into my trap! LOLOLLL!!1!
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Videos
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Boards Made to Discuss Q
- https://8kun.top/qresearch/index.html
- https://8kun.top/thestorm/index.html
- https://8kun.top/midnightriders/index.html
- https://8kun.top/qrb/index.html
- https://8kun.top/truthlegion/index.html
QAnon mainly stays on 8kun.top, due to 8chan.moe's two big degenerating diseases.
Links
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q-anon-community-r-cbts_stream-cbts-thestorm-etc.38801 - Kiwi Farms thread about QAnon.- https://qanon.pub - The place to get Q posts
- https://8ch.net/cow/res/512858.html
- https://ghost.report/2018/08/01/qanon-followers-are-no-better-than-low-iq-leftists/
- https://ghostreport.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/tcr-show-600.mp3
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QAnon is part of a series on 8chan |
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QAnon is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |
| QAnon is part of a series on Dying Alone
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| QAnon is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/ 
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Sources [+]
9fags ♦ Angyl ♦ Attention Whore ♦ Bronies ♦ Camwhore ♦ Children ♦ Combofags ♦ Doing it for free ♦ Drawhore ♦ Eternal September ♦ Furfag ♦ Gaiafags ♦ Hatefags ♦ iFags ♦ /mlp/ ♦ Memefags ♦ Mods ♦ Moralfags ♦ m00t and his final act of selling out ♦ Newfags ♦ Le Redittors ♦ Sagefags ♦ Samefags ♦ Shitposters ♦ Tripfags ♦ TikTok |
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Symptoms [+]
7 Proxies ♦ Asperger's Syndrome ♦ The Caturday Nap ♦ Roll Call ♦ Combofag ♦ COMBO BREAKER ♦ Drama Prairie Dog ♦ DSFARGEG ♦ File:Everyone get in here.png ♦ #fortune ♦ Flood detected ♦ GET ♦ Godly Luck ♦ Hai Guy ♦ I Don't Roll That Way ♦ Reaction Face ♦ Naked Banana ♦ Name my band ♦ Post ending in (x) gets to name my (x) ♦ Prove me wrong ♦ Roll Call ♦ The Game ♦ Trying too hard | |
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Forced Memes [+]
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ♦ Andy Sixx ♦ Apples Bear ♦ Ayy lmao ♦ Balki ♦ Big Dog ♦ Chud ♦ Condom Snorting ♦ Deez Nuts ♦ Dental Plan ♦ Desu ♦ Dick Butt ♦ Family Guy Funny Moments ♦ FUCK YEAH SEAKING ♦ HNNNNNNGGGGG ♦ Isn't Dallas in California? ♦ Arrow to the knee ♦ Jack Spicer ♦ Lanky Kong ♦ Milhouse ♦ My Little Pony ♦ Nyoro~n ♦ Random Album Art ♦ Rickroll ♦ Rita ♦ Sneed's Feed & Seed ♦ So cash ♦ Tape dick ♦ THE BEST ♦ Uncle Dolan ♦ WHEN I WAS ♦ Wew lad ♦ Woll Smoth ♦ X intensifies ♦ You Laugh, You Lose | |
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Treatment [+]
4chan Gold Account ♦ An hero ♦ Alexander-sama ♦ BRING BACK SNACKS ♦ The Caturday Revival ♦ The Chemo That Is Curing /b/ ♦ DO IT FAGGOT ♦ Facepalm ♦ Gb2 ♦ In before X ♦ Incontinent Student Bodies ♦ BRING BACK SNACKS ♦ and most importantly... Original Content |
| Article of the Now November 8 & 9, 2021 | ||
| Preceded by Graykat |
QAnon | Succeeded by Shadman |
| Featured article September 25 and 26 2020 | ||
| Preceded by Longcat |
QAnon | Succeeded by NOBODY SET ANYTHING, LAZY FAGGOTS |